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MEMOIR 



MRS. SARAH LOUISA TAYLOR; 



AN ILLUSTRATION OF THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, 

IN AWAKENING, RENEWING, AND SANCTIFYING 

THE HEART. 



BY LOT JONES, A. M. 

MISSIONARY IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK, IN CHARGE 
OF THE MISSION CHURCH OF THE EPIPHANY, 



I 

4 'The only amaranthine flower on earth 
Is virtue ; the only lasting treasure, truth." 



NEW YORK I 
PUBLISHED BY JOHN S. TAYLOR. 

BOSTON I WEEKS, JORDAN, AND CO. 

PHILADELPHIA! JOSEPH WHETHAM. 

1838. 



33 ft ntf 

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Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1838, by 

John S. Taylor, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, 

for the Southern District of New York, 



3X4 L ? 



MRS. ISAAC LAWRENCE, 

THIS MEMOIR 
IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED, 

IN TOKEN 

OF GRATEFUL REMEMBRANCE, 

AND 

AFFECTIONATE REGARD, 

BY HER 

SINCERE FRIEND, 

THE AUTHOR. 



PREFACE. 



A regard for established usage, seems to require of the writer, a 
statement of the reasons, which induced him to prepare this Me- 
moir. When the request was first made, he unhesitatingly de- 
clined, supposing it impossible, that, in the midst of so many 
pressing engagements, he could find the necessary time. This 
difficulty could only be obviated, by increased economy in the 
employment of those " leisure moments which" it is said, "even 
the busiest may create." 

The principal circumstance, which led to the proposal and its 
final acceptance, was the fact, that no other person enjoyed the 
same facilities for becoming acquainted with the views and feel- 
ings of Mrs. Taylor, the last year of her life. Having, by her 
request, regularly visited her as one of the sick under his care, 
he became familiar with her spiritual condition, her mode of re- 
garding divine truth, and whatever pertained to the life of religion 
in the soul. 

Had he persevered in declining the request, her friends 
would still have relied upon his aid, in furnishing the particulars 
of that year ; in a spiritual point of view, the most interesting in. 

i* 



Vi PREFACE. 

her history. To delineate this period in a proper manner, a 
reference to the early part of her life would be indispensable. 
He might also add, that he felt a deep interest in the subject, 
with a strong conviction, that if suitably prepared, it could not 
fail to be useful. 

It may be expedient for the author to refer to one particular, 
in order to remove the possibility of an unfavorable inference. 
Mrs. Taylor was, for a long time, awake to the importance of 
religion, and in great distress of mind, before she derived com- 
fort from the hope of the gospel. The continuance of her suf- 
ferings, arose from her resisting the strivings of the Holy Spirit, 
and refusing to yield her heart to the Lord. So fully did she 
afterwards embrace this view of the subject, that she earnestly 
entreated her young friends, not to follow her example. This 
caution seems necessary, lest any, from perusing the account of 
such 'protracted mental agony, should conclude, that it was es- 
sential to a work of divine grace. 

Would all, who are awakened to a sense of their own sinful- 
ness, and grieved, and burdened, on account of their sins, cast 
themselves with singleness of heart upon the merits of Jesus, 
looking to him alone for salvation, they would find peace and 
joy in believing. Their distress and darkness continue, because 
they are unwilling to bow to the sovereign will of Jehovah, and 
receive the Saviour as he is offered in the Bible j — when the 
spirit is truly broken and contrite, the consolations of the gospel 
will have a place in the heart. 



PREFACE. Vll 

The work is submitted to the public, with the fervent pray- 
er, that it may subserve the interests of our holy religion, and 
be the means of leading many to the fountain of eternal truth. 

New York, May 1, 1838. 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER I. 

Birth of Mrs. Taylor — Attachment to books — Connexion with 
the Sunday School — Removal to Colchester — Member of 
Bacon Academy — Sudden death of a former schoolmate — 
Filial duty — Early friendships — Religious impressions — Re- 
turn to her parental home. , .... 13 

CHAPTER II. 

Preparation for a new sphere— Journey to New York — Disap- 
pointment — Extract from her Journal — Pleasure in Teach- 
ing — Sympathy for the afflicted — Sickness— Letter to Mrs. S. 
— Death of her cousin — Correspondence— Letter from Miss 
M. E. C. — Spiritual condition — Obituary notice of Mrs. Vose. 

25 

CHAPTER III. 

Visit to Connecticut — Strivings of the Holy Spirit — Harlan 
Page— Pastoral fidelity — Description of the Christian cha- 
racter — Peace and joy in believing — Letters to Miss N. — 
Important resolution. ,51 

CHAPTER IV. 

Mrs. Taylor's baptism — Obligations of the christian covenant — 
Peculiar qualification for instructing— Unwearied efforts — 
Increase of the circle of her friends — Delightful scenery- 
Importance of daily studying the Bible — Correspondence — 



X CONTENTS. 

Solicitude for the spiritual welfare of her relatives — Letter of 
consolation — Excursion up the Hudson—Religious enjoy- 
ment — Aged servant of God. , , , . .76 

CHAPTER V. 

Extract from Mrs. Taylor's diary — Severe trial — Affectionate 
entreaty — Resolutions at the commencement of a new year 
—Teacher's meeting— A family in eternity — Notice of Mrs. 
Judson — Desire for a missionary life — Rev. Mr. Clark's Bible 
class — Israelites entering into covenant with God — Ceasing 
of the manna — Sinful league with the Gibeonites. . 100 

CHAPTER VI. 

Painful sundering of ties — Visit to Saybrook — Beautiful land- 
scape — Conversation with an unbeliever — Pleasing sketch — 
Persuasive letter to her sister — Value of christian society- 
Sense of responsibility— Comparison between Athens and 
New York — Fidelity in impressing divine truth upon her scho- 
lars — Memoirs of Mrs. Huntington— Spiritual conflicts — 
Increased endeavors after holiness 127 

CHAPTER. VII. 

Self-examination—" Advice to a young christian" — Female 
biography — Arduous duties of her school — Dangerous illness 
of a sister — Interesting seasons with her pupils — Reflections 
at the close of the year — Bishop M'llvaine — Divine purposes 
in permitting some of the Canaanites to remain in the Holy 
Land — Tendency of afflictions to draw the heart to God — 
Affecting case of destitution and suffering — Letter from Rev. 
J. A. Clark 154 

CHAPTER. VIII. 

Blessed result of faithful labors— Review of her past life — De- 
votional exercises— Sickness and death of a beloved sister— 



CONTENTS XI 

Poetical tribute to her memory — Visit to Middle Haddam — 
A sister's grave — Removal to Paterson — Favorable circum- 
stances attending the change — Words of comfort to a friend. 

175 

CHAPTER IX. 

Sanctified afflictions — Renewed ardor in the performance of 
duty — Death regarded as near — Cheerful acquiescence in the 
divine will— Increase of strength — Return to the city — Grati- 
tude for past mercies — Winter spent in retirement — Prepara- 
tion for new duties— High estimate of missionary services. 

193 

CHAPTER X. 

Marriage — Solicitude for divine guidance — Cholera — Death of 
Mrs. Tillotson — Adopted daughter— Family of the christian 
— Vicissitudes of life— Commencement of the author's ac- 
quaintance with Mrs Taylor. . , . . .210 

CHAPTER XL 

Severe illness — Consolations of the gospel — Importance of ma- 
ternal duties — Care of a family relinquished — Temporary 
separation from her children — Journey to Philadelphia — Sum- 
mer residence in New Jersey — Correspondence — Advice to 
a candidate for the ministry — Continued indisposition — Trust 
in God 221. 

CHAPTER XII. 

Consultation of Physicians— Hope of life relinquished — Final 
parting with her children— Letters written on the trying oc- 
casion — A mother's advice to her children— Depression of 
spirits — Importance of keeping the Saviour steadily in view. 

235 



Xll CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER XIII. 

Renewal of enjoyment — Memento of a beloved friend — Duty of 
christians to live near to God— Value of Sympathy— Observ- 
ance of the Lord's day— Gratifying exhibition of faith and 
love — Claims of the heathen 254 

CHAPTER XIV. 

Christian character as seen the last year of her life — Circulation 
of tracts — Foretaste of the happiness of the Redeemed— 
Death of her sister Mary — Lines addressed to her eldest son 
— To her youngest son on his birthday — To her adopted 
daughter — Parental solicitude^- Utility of Sunday schools. 

265 

CHAPTER XV. 

Power of the gospel — Deep interest in the condition of the sick 
and necessitous — Special instance of the benign effect of re- 
ligion — Mrs. Taylor's last letter from New- York — Departure 
from the city — Comfortable situation with her relatives — 
Elevated state of her affections — Closing scene — Letter from 
Rev. A. L 279 

CHAPTER. XVI. 

Review of Mrs. Taylor's Character. — dualities as a Teacher — 
Admiration of the works of nature — Fervor and consistency 
of her piety and friendship, by Rev. C. H. — Letter from Dr. 
J. A. Mc V. — Her christian character, by Rev. O. W. — The 
mother taking leave of her children, by W. C. — The Mission- 
ary's Prayer — Sketch in miniature — Conclusion. . 301 



MEMOIR. 



CHAPTER I. 



Birth of Mrs. Taylor — Attachment to Books — Connexion with 
the Sunday School — Removal to Colchester — Member of 
Bacon Academy — Sudden death of a former schoolmate — 
Filial duty — Early friendships — Religious impressions — 
Return to her parental home. 

When we stand on the banks of a beautiful river, 
and behold its accumulated waters moving gently 
but with stately grandeur to the ocean ; we would 
not repress the desire which naturally arises, to 
trace those waters to their distant source ; to follow 
the rivulet as it winds along avoiding obstructions, 
receiving its tributary streams, acquiring additional 
force, and sweeping away the strongest barriers of 
nature. What more dissimilar than the humble rill 
and the majestic stream ! yet we love to contemplate 
them together, to consider them as one and the 
same river, and to observe the successive gradations 
of its course. 

2 



14 MEMOIR OF 

With equal interest in the moral world, when we 
stand by the couch of the dying christian and per- 
ceive the immortal spirit gathering strength for its 
upward flight, see it triumphing over the weakness 
and sufferings of this mortal frame, and rejoicing, 
yea, glorying, in tribulation ; we would learn by what 
process this wonderful achievement has been made, 
whence the agency that has been exerted, and 
how the undying spirit in this house of clay, may 
be transformed and prepared for the realms of 
glory. 

An illustration of these particulars will be at- 
tempted in the following memoir. 

Mrs. Sarah Louisa Taylor, third daughter of 
William and Mary Ann Foote, was born at East 
Haddam, Connecticut, January 18, 1809. The 
early years of her life were spent beneath the 
parental roof, in the enjoyment of that kindly inter- 
course by which members of the same family are 
strongly endeared to each other. Here her 
habits were formed, and those affections called into 
exercise, which constituted so powerful an attraction 
in subsequent years. While she was beloved by 
every member of the domestic circle, and was ever 
anxious to render herself useful, she evinced an 
ardent attachment to books. They had sufficient 
power over her to diminish her interest in childish 
amusements. She attended the district schools in 






MRS. TAYLOR. 15 

the vicinity of her residence, and became familiar 
with the branches usually taught in them. In the 
tenth year of her age she was sent to a select school 
in Glastenbury, where she commended herself, by 
close attention to her studies, the propriety of her 
deportment, and especially the kindness of her 
feelings, to the favorable regard of all who knew 
her. Some of the intimacies here contracted were 
continued to the end of her days. 

For several years, she attended the Sunday School 
of St. Luke's church in this town. — To those who 
knew her subsequently as the persevering and faith- 
ful teacher ; it will be interesting to think of her 
taking the first lessons in the capacity of a scholar. 
The truths then instilled into her mind were never 
forgotten. They were the germ, which eventually 
produced much fruit. 

Her earliest writings evince a playfulness of 
fancy, a lively and vigorous conception of the 
various peculiarities in the character and dispo- 
sition of her associates ; while they breathe so 
affectionate a spirit that none could take offence. 
She selected from her favourite authors those pas- 
sages with which she was most delighted. It was 
her constant aim to turn her reading to some 
valuable account. That she often pursued a seri- 
ous train of thought, is evident from the reflections 
she made on various subjects. In March, 1821, 



16 MEMOIR OF 

she expresses herself in an interesting and affecting 
manner on the passage, " Thou God seest me." 
The thought that the eye of God was continually 
upon her, seems to have been in some degree reali- 
zed, and to have awakened for the time deep emo- 
tions of awe and reverence. Yet we are not permitted 
to rank her among the number of those, who, in the 
very morn and freshness of their lives, made an en- 
tire surrender of themselves to the service of God. 
At this period no member of her father's family was 
connected with "the household of faith ;" and the 
opinions, she was accustomed to hear advanced on 
religious subjects, were materially different from 
those which she subsequently embraced. 

In the winter of 1824, she became a member of 
Bacon Academy in the town of Colchester. At 
this institution she enjoyed excellent advantages for 
improving her mind and regulating her affections. 
None made greater proficiency in their studies, or 
secured in a higher degree the esteem and confi- 
dence of their teachers and associates. She was 
prompt to every call of duty and so demeaned her- 
self as to be recommended for an example to others. 
Though diligently employed during the week, she 
was far from being indolent on the Lord's day. By 
the laws of the Academy, all the pupils were 
required to attend public worship and to hand to 
their instructors on Monday morning, an abstract of 



MRS. TAYLOR. 17 

the sermons they had heard. Many regarded this 
exercise as a task, and devised expedients to relieve 
themselves from it. She found in it much to in- 
terest, and considered the results so beneficial, that 
she continued the practice the greater part of her 
life. She joined a Bible class connected with the 
Sunday School, and afterwards became a teacher in 
the school ; in each situation, evincing an earnest 
desire to profit by her privileges, and to make them 
contribute to the most valuable purposes. 

The dispensations of Providence always produced 
a powerful effect upon her. They induced her to 
recur to the truths of the Bible, and to realize the 
fleeting nature of all terrestrial objects. In the sum- 
mer of this year one of her former schoolmates was 
called to make a sudden exchange of worlds. To 
the friend who conveyed the intelligence she thus 
writes : — 

" Colchester, July 6, 1824. 
" My dear A. 

" Yours of the 1st inst. was received with plea- 
sure, but its contents filled my heart with the deepest 
sorrow. Can it be possible, I was ready to exclaim, 
that our valued friend is no more ? When we last 
saw her, she was young, gay, and thoughtless, and pro- 
bably put far off the evil day, but in an unexpected 
moment the ' fell destroyer* came, and triumphed 
over all that was lovely and amiable. How forcibly 
2* 



18 MEMOIR OF 

this event should impress us with a sense of the 
shortness of life, and the vanity of those things to 
which we are most attached. Every object to which 
we direct our thoughts, affords striking proof, that 
its duration is short. Its fluctuations and changes 
are often sudden. The transition from time to the 
untried scenes of eternity, may take place in the 
most unexpected moment. 

" Perhaps while the individual is forming plans 
for future years, thoughtless of death and eternity, 
the summons comes, he is arrested in his course, 
his strong frame yields.— No mortal arm can avert 
the impending stroke. No power can rescue him 
from the embrace of death. 

" If we look at the receptacle of the silent dead ; 
will not our hearts acknowledge, that ' life's a 
dream,' a shadow that passeth quickly away ? There 
we behold an end of all earthly distinctions. The 
young and the old, the rich and the poor, lie moulder- 
ing in the same native dust. 

"Alluding to the dying scene of our friend, you say, 
* death was indeed unexpected and unwelcome — an 
unlooked for visiter.' Are we not all liable to be 
called as suddenly ? Do we not act unwisely, to place 
our whole affections on the transitory objects of time? 
We are young, and ardently desire to enjoy happi- 
ness ; but if we imagine that this world alone can 
afford us enjoyment, we shall be sorely disappointed. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 19 

All the alluring forms of earth are deceptive ; they 
are airy phantoms, which will soon vanish. Why 
do we so eagerly grasp at these, and seek not those 
pleasures, which flow from God's right hand forever- 
more ? We must pass through the dark valley, and, 
like those who have gone before us, lie down in si- 
lence. Our names will be buried in oblivion. New 
generations will arise, and fill the places we now 
occupy. These will be succeeded by others, till the 
trump of the archangel shall proclaim ' that time 
shall be no longer.' 

"That we may both realize the uncertainty and 
vanity of earthly things, and the necessity of being 
prepared for death, is the sincere desire of your affec- 
tionate friend, 



" Sarah 



It is gratifying to perceive that while she was the 
most completely engrossed by the various duties of 
the Academy, she was ever mindful of those to whom 
she was bound by the ties of nature and affection. 
Though separated from her immediate relatives, her 
interest was not diminished in any thing that per- 
tained to them. In November we find her engaged 
in the delightful employment of comforting her mother 
in the midst of severe trials. There are few situa- 
tions in which a daughter appears to more advantage, 
than when attempting to pour the balm of consolation 
into a parent's heart. Her affectionate solicitude will 



20 MEMOIR OF 

naturally suggest, such topics as most effectually 
withdraw the mind from the sources of its sorrow, 
and lead it to dwell upon brighter and more cheering 
views. This was the course pursued by Miss Foote. 
Though she could not speak, from her own experi- 
ence, of those joys which the Lord often grants to 
his children, in seasons of tribulation, yet she be- 
lieved in their existence, and was fully persuaded, 
that the only substantial support which mortals can 
obtain in this vale of tears, must be derived from the 
Eternal Jehovah. Hence she desired that her afflicted 
parent might remember, that all events are ordered in 
Infinite Wisdom, that trials and afflictions are neces- 
sary to wean us from an undue attachment to the 
world, and reminded her of the promise "As our day 
is so shall our strength be." " You have never been 
forsaken in the time of trouble. Relief is often im- 
parted in the way we least expect it." Children never 
have reason to regret such manifestations of filial 
regard. Were they more solicitious to be a comfort 
to those who watched over them in infancy, their 
path through life would be less rugged. They would 
be delivered from a frequent cause of anguish. 

In the early part of 1825, Miss Foote spent several 
months in teaching a class of small children, in the 
Academy, and then resumed her situation as a pupil, 
and continued to the end of the year, with the same 
industry and perseverance for which she had previ- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 21 

ously been distinguished. Her attainments were, in 
every point of view, highly creditable. Mr. Vose, at 
that time the Principal of the Academy, gave the 
most ample testimony to the excellence of her char- 
acter, the solidity and extent of her acquirements, 
and her general qualifications to make herself useful 
as a teacher. With his amiable and accomplished 
lady, Mrs. Elizabeth Q. Vose, she enjoyed much pro- 
fitable intercourse, and after leaving Colchester, 
maintained a correspondence with her, fraught with 
sentiments of mutual attachment and affection, which 
was only interrupted by the death of her beloved 
Preceptress. Here she formed many friendships, 
which were destined to survive the passing hour. 
The influence they exerted upon her, so far as it can 
be ascertained from her own writings, or the letters of 
her correspondents, was salutary. The place itself 
was endeared to her by many powerful associations. 
She was comparatively free from care, deeply inte- 
rested in whatever she engaged, alive to the comfort 
and happiness of others, greeted by the approving smile 
of her instructers, and a welcome companion in every 
circle. 

It may be thought that, under such circum- 
stances, she would be little inclined to reflect on the 
great purpose for which she was brought into the 
world ; that the concerns of the immortal soul would 
be entirely banished from her mind. Such a con- 



22 MEMOIR OF 

elusion respecting her would be unjust. She reflected 
much on religious subjects, and was solemnly im- 
pressed with the necessity of living to the glory of 
God. Advancing in divine knowledge, she gave the full 
assent of her understanding to those doctrines which 
are the most humbling to human pride. She saw the 
truth, admired its beauty, was at times affected by it, 
but remained a stranger to its renovating power. Her 
writings show most clearly, that she renounced 
every foundation of human hope, which the ingenuity 
of man has devised, and was convinced that sal- 
vation could only be obtained, by rich unmerited grace, 
through Jesus Christ. The Bible unfolded to her view 
that glorious plan, by which the law of Jehovah could 
be magnified and command universal respect, while 
the penitent sinner could have access to the Mercy 
Seat, and, trusting in the Saviour's merits, receive a 
comforting evidence of the forgiveness of his sins. 
Yet she dwelt with painful emotions on the condition 
of those, who reject the overtures of mercy, and trea- 
sure up wrath against the day of wrath. 

Having spoken of the intestimable value of the 
Bible ; she recurs, under date of Oct. 21., in a touch- 
ing manner, to those who are unenlightened and un- 
affected by its truths, " No voice from the sacred 
desk makes known to them the glad tidings of salva- 
tion. No humble heartfelt prayer ascends to Him, 
who alone has power to forgive sin and to purify the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 23 

heart. The blood of immortal beings marks the wheels 
of the car, which bears along the terrific object, before 
which thousands bow. Whose heart does not melt 
with compassion for such infatuated beings ? — But 
will not the condemnation of those in christian lands 
be far more severe, who, with a knowledge of the 
way of salvation, pass heedlessly down to the grave? 
Suppose an individual of this description on the verge 
of eternity. When his offences appear in their true 
light, would he not gladly recall the time he has spent, 
it may be, in reviling the very truths, which now fill 
him with anguish. He is conscious that he must 
soon enter the presence of his God, and knows that 
he is unprepared. Where can he go for solace ? This 
blessed book does indeed proclaim pardon to the re- 
penting sinner, rest to the weary, and eternal life to 
those who continue faithful unto the end. But does 
it not, with equal clearness, proclaim tribulation and 
anguish to all who grow bold in iniquity ? Has he 
time now to make his peace with an offended God? 
Who can give him the assurance that the day of 
mercy is not forever closed ?" 

Dec. 2, 1825, She thus writes : " How seldom we 
reflect on our obligations to love, reverence, and obey, 
our Creator. What blessing do we enjoy, that we 
have not received from him ? When we consider the 
future happiness in reserve for the righteous, and the 
inevitable misery of those who love not God, neither 



24 MEMOIR OF 

obey his commandments, how can we refrain from 
yielding our hearts entirely to him ? Did we realize 
the compassion of that Saviour, who, when ' There 
was no eye to pity, and no arm to save,' left the 
bosom of the Father in the realms of glory, and sub- 
mitted to the ignominious death of the cross, that he 
might make atonement for our sins ; could we with- 
hold from him our best affections ? Can we refuse to 
consecrate ourselves to his service, without being 
guilty of the basest ingratitude, and incurring the 
wrath of the Almighty which abideth forever ?" 

"With these convictions of truth and duty, in a 
few weeks from this time, she took leave of her 
friends in Colchester, where she had spent two 
happy years, returned to the home of her childhood, 
and made arrangements for entering on a new 
sphere of action. 



CHAPTER II. 

Preparation for a new sphere — Journey to New York. — Disap- 
pointment — Extracts from her Journal — Pleasure in Teach- 
ing — Sympathy for the afflicted — Sickness — Letter to 
Mrs. S. — Death of a cousin — Correspondence — Letter from 
Miss. M. E. C. — Spiritual condition — Obituary notice of 
Mrs. Vose. 

The period at which we have arrived in the life 
of Miss Foote, is one of deep interest to the young, 
being a transition from pupilage, to a condition in 
which it is necessary that they should act for them- 
selves, form their own plans, rely upon their own 
judgment, and pursue a career of usefulness and 
respectability. They stand on a point, from which 
they look forward to the future, with buoyant hopes, 
and nattering expectations. The world is before 
them ; and they often imagine that they have only 
to express the wish, and act accordingly, and every 
thing will transpire in conformity to that wish. 
Their intercourse having chiefly been with those of 
their own age, devoted to similar pursuits ; a new, 
and, to them untrodden path, is to be entered. They 
find that the world, which their fancy had portrayed, 
is very different from that of real life. Their most 
3 



26 MEMOIR OF 

confident expectations are frequently disappointed. 
They are constrained to take lessons in a school 
where they have never been disciplined, the school 
of experience. God in great mercy permits them 
to see the weakness of their own strength, the 
futility of many of their plans. He leads them in 
a way they have not known, by counsels they have 
never fathomed, that he may prepare them for the 
stations they are hereafter to occupy. Happy are 
they who early choose him for their portion, and in 
the midst of these vicissitudes, have an anchor to 
their souls sure and steadfast. 

Miss Foote had for some time contemplated 
devoting herself to the instruction of youth, an em- 
ployment which she had regarded as affording 
peculiar facilities for doing good. She knew that 
success in acquiring knowledge, is no sure evidence 
of an aptness to teach, and that obstacles might 
interfere, to prevent even an entrance on an 
employment fondly sought. Being prepared to 
make the trial, she left her father's house on the 
3d of May, 1826, with the intention of opening a 
school in the city of New- York. Thus at the age 
of seventeen, she was going into the world, uncer- 
tain who would seek her friendship, or with what 
intent. She seemed, on taking leave of her con- 
nexions, to be parting from them for life. Her 
mother accompanied her to Norwich, where she 



MRS. TAYLOR. 27 

went on board a packet, and with a pleasant circle 
of friends, after a passage of three days through the 
sound, " admiring the romantic and delightful 
scenery," arrived at New- York. She went directly 
to the residence of her cousin, Mrs. M. A. J., who 
gave her a " cordial reception." On this occasion she 
made the following entry in her journal. "I shall not 
soon forget the adventures of the past week, nor the 
friends who have added to my enjoyment. We 
have separated, it may be never to meet again on 
this side of eternity." In a few days she made 
herself familiar with the prominent objects of in- 
terest around her. Here was the field of her 
future labors, the sphere of duty marked out by the 
Providence of God. Here was her spiritual birth 
place, and here too, with the exception of an occa- 
sional absence of a few months, she passed the 
remainder of her days. The various circumstances 
by which she was affected, will claim our notice, 
so far as they develope the agency of that unseen 
Power, which controlleth all events. Incidents 
comparatively trifling may have an important in- 
fluence upon us ; or indicate the prevailing state of 
our minds. The disappointments and afflictions of 
life are not without their effect. We learn wisdom 
from experience, acquire a greater knowledge of 
ourselves, and become better qualified to perform 
aright our respective duties. 



28 MEMOIR OF 

The endeavors of Miss Foote to engage in her 
favorite pursuit, were not crowned with immediate 
success. Weeks and months elapsed, seasons of 
doubt and apprehension, before the object she had 
so much at heart, seemed in a train of accomplish- 
ment. The anxiety necessarily attending a state of 
suspense, together with the uncertainty of the future, 
revived her serious impressions, and led her to 
perceive, with increasing clearness, that she was 
relying too much upon her own strength. On the 
first of June she writes, " Another month is num- 
bered, with the ' years beyond the flood.' Since the 
commencement of the last month, how many scenes 
I have passed through. What hopes and fears 
have alternately filled my bosom ! Is it not sinful 
for me to devote my mind so exclusively to terrestrial 
objects, without duly considering those things which 
concern not only my present, but eternal welfare ? 
How vain are all human exertions without the 
blessing of heaven !" 

Her conscience often reproved her for a neglect 
of duty, particularly for being deficient in a due 
observance of the Lord's day, not that she allowed 
herself to abstain from public worship, but that her 
thoughts were not suitably employed in meditating 
upon divine truth. She speaks in her journal of 
the improper manner in which she had spent these 
hallowed hours, and of the little effect, produced 



MRS. TAYLOR. 29 

upon her by what she heard. On one occasion she 
observes with apparent emotion, " Oft I frequent 
God's holy house and hear almost in vain." " How 
little do I know of my own heart, of its proneness 
to deceive, and of its evil desires !" 

At times she would recur to past scenes, call to 
mind the beloved friends from whom she was sepa- 
rated, the many pleasant hours they had spent to- 
gether, and give expression to the desire that she 
might have one friend to whom she could " confide 
her little griefs and cares," " who would double the 
joys and divide the woes of life." Nor was she insen- 
sible to the kindness of many with whom she had 
recently become acquainted. " I have found," she 
says, " kind and sincere friends, but I cannot at 
once transfer to them that confidence I have reposed 
in those, with whom I have been acquainted for a 
longer period." Giving vent to her feelings with 
reference to them in the silent hours of the night, 
she breaks forth, ; ' May they be kept in safety 
under the protection of the Almighty, and may 
absent, as well as present, friends, be alike the ob- 
jects of his care." 

She resumed her journal, Aug. 31st, after having 
omitted to record any thing in it for several months. 
Her allusions to the past convey a clear indication of 
the state of her mind, and the feelings she had cher- 
ished. — 

3* 



30 



MEMOIR OF 



" Many long days have passed away, and many 
sins have been sealed up for the judgment, since 
my pen was last employed in this journal. — Many 
hopes have filled my bosom — hopes destined to end 
in disappointment. But mine is not a solitary case. 
Others, within the limited sphere of my observation, 
are subjected, in a similar manner, to disappointment 
and misfortune. Compared with the lot of thousands, 
I have peculiar cause for thankfulness. I want for 
nothing, but the thought of the future often obtrudes 
and embitters every enjoyment. Now I am surrounded 
by friends, soon I may be in far different circum- 
stances. — Now I have the prospect of a home, and of 
ultimately succeeding in a school, soon these, like 
all other earthly hopes, maybe blasted. What may 
be in reserve for me I know not, for we are ignorant 
of the events which another hour may unfold. Whether 
prosperity or adversity be my portion, may I bear it 
with a right spirit, and ever consider who is the Ruler 
of all tilings, and how great is my unworthiness ! — 
Tomorrow is the commencement of a new month, 
may its close, if I am in mercy permitted to see it, 
find me in possesion of the blessings I now enjoy ! 
May my conduct evince my gratitude, and my heart 
bow to him through whose goodness they were given, 
and have been so long continued !" 

Sept. 1. " Another busy day has past, and all the 
family have retired. After a day thus spent, I find 



MRS. TAYLOR. 31 

relief in reading or writing, though it encroach upon 
the time usually devoted to rest. O that I could hear 
once more from Colchester, that dear spot, which 
contains so many of my best friends. It may be 
that they have forgotten me, or only think of me as 
a ' passing stranger.' Be that as it may, I there be- 
came acquainted with a few who will ever be remem- 
bered with affection, who gave such proofs of real 
regard for me, as to merit my highest and lasting 
esteem. May I not reasonably indulge the wish, to 
know what has transpired among them during our 
separation ?" 

Sunday, Sep. 3. " I have heard two excellent ser- 
mons from Mr. C. The text was 1 Cor. 6:19, 20. 
'Ye are not your own, for ye are bought with a price.' 
He commenced by showing the nature of sin — the 
way it was introduced into the world — the value of 
the atonement made by Christ — and concluded with 
an earnest and affecting exhortation to the impeni- 
tent, to come and be made free through the merits 
of a crucified Redeemer. Were all ministers of the 
gospel equally active and zealous, were they excited 
by the same love for the souls of sinners, by which 
he appears to be influenced, would not more good be 
done by the preaching of the word ! 

" Tomorrow, should nothing unforeseen prevent, 
I shall commence school. How much I need divine 
assistance, and how earnestly! ought to implore it ! 



32 MEMOIR OF 

Great will be my responsibility, and great my obliga- 
tions. May I be guided by Infinite wisdom, and 
keep in view my accountability, my frailty, and lia- 
bility to err !" 

Sept. 4, was to her a day of lively interest. She 
had anticipated it with pleasure, and could not enter 
on its duties without emotion. It seemed a consum- 
mation of all herdesires,and opened before her a pros- 
pect of extensive and permanent usefulness. We 
can. readily conceive, that when the little group, who 
were to be guided by her counsels, and made the daily 
subjects of her exertions, assembled around her, she 
would think of all the way in which she had been 
led, of the mercies that had attended her path, and 
mark, in a strong and indelible manner, the overruling 
Hand of a watchful Parent. 

On the 24th of September, she offered her service 
as a teacher in the Sunday school, and was thank- 
fully received. From her readiness to engage in 
this labor of love, it must not be inferred that she 
was a stranger to her own condition, or acted in a 
thoughtless manner. Her humiliating confession, 
recorded at the time, clearly expresses the state of 
her mind : — 

" I feel that I am unqualified to be a spiritual 
teacher, even to the most ignorant and benighted, 
for I am myself in darkness, gross darkness. I 
trust however my motive is correct, though I cannot 



MRS. TAYLOR. 33 

feel confident even of this, for my heart is deceitful 
above all things, and desperately wicked. When 
I examine the principles that govern my actions, I 
am amazed at the discovery. How can a heart 
which is wholly engrossed by the world and self ; 
contain, ought else than feelings the most selfish, 
and motives the most unchristian ! 

Oct. 2. She writes in her journal, " Dr. D. has 
just informed me of the death of a dear friend. My 
feelings at the moment, I could not repress without 
difficulty. If such be my feelings, what must be 
those of his young affectionate and devoted tvife ! 
Dear R. My heart bleeds for her. I would write 
to her, did I know in what manner to address her. 
Could I but hear that reason was spared to him, 
that his feelings were changed, and his hopes 
renewed, I should not mourn. But if he died as 
when I last saw him, how doubly aggravated will 
be the affliction of his dear wife. May she trust 
in the widow's God, and the father of the fatherless. 
May his presence support her, and enable her to 
say, in perfect submission, The will of Heaven be 
done. Oh that her little babe may be spared to 
bless and comfort her, and supply, as far as possible, 
the loss she has sustained. ' 'Tis well — 'tis wise' — ■ 
that we cannot pierce the veil, which screens the 
events of futurity from our view ; for then we should 
be continually distressed by the prospect of approach- 



34 MEMOIR OF 

ing calamity. Short indeed was the time of their 
union. But he has gone, I trust, to enjoy the favor 
of God forever. May his bereaved companion be 
enabled to look beyond the narrow space, that se- 
parates them, and rejoice in the hope of soon meeting 
him, where friends shall part no more forever." 

Miss Foote, had been in school only a few months, 
when the feebleness of her health induced her to re- 
tire from its duties, and accept the invitation of her 
cousin, Mrs. T., to spend the winter in her family. 
This arrangement contributed greatly to her comfort. 
For several months she was unable to leave her room, 
and supposed to be on the borders of the grave. Re- 
lieved from anxiety on account of those entrusted to 
her care, and her thoughts withdrawn from surround- 
ing objects, she meditated on that rest in reserve for 
the people of God. But the painful consciousness 
that she was unprepared for its enjoyment, often 
depressed her spirits, and produced deep anxiety for 
a personal interest in the great salvation. She arose 
from the bed of sickness, with her heart softened, and 
with renewed desires after holiness, and an entire 
consecration to the service of God. 

Her feelings, at this period, will be best described 
by an extract from a letter to one of her dear friends 
in Colchester. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 35 

" New York, March 18, 1827. 
11 While recording my afflictions, my dear friend, 
let me not neglect to mention the many mercies that 
have sweetened my cup, and to thank the Author of 
those mercies for all his goodness. Why, when so 
many around me were cut off, was I spared 1 After 
suffering from a painful and dangerous illness, why 
was I restored to health, and its attendant blessings, 

while others were suddenly deprived of life ? 

# # # # # 

" Can it indeed be true, that Colchester has become 
the seat of so much mirth and gaiety ? Can those 
who were so earnestly engaged in seeking their soul's 
salvation, and apparently took so much delight in 
religious exercises, now seek for enjoyment in the 
unhallowed and unsatisfying pleasures of a sinful 
world? How changed : — how sadly changed ! — But 
I trust the prayers of the true friends of Zion will not 
ascend to Heaven in vain. Soon, I hope your place 
will be again visited with the outpouring of God's 
Holy Spirit, and that those who are now so far 
estranged from the path of duty, will see the error of 
their ways, and through grace obtain everlasting 
life.— 

" Your wishes for my eternal happiness were not 
read without emotion, and never, never, will your 
letters be less welcome, when religion shall be your 
theme. Would that I could sincerely tell you (for I 



36 MEMOIR OF 

know that it would give you pleasure,) that I live no 
more for the world, that I am daily advancing in holi- 
ness, and looking forward, with joy, to the time when 
I shall be free from these earthly tabernacles, and 
clothed w T ith the robes of immortality ! But such is 
not my case. I dare not indulge the most trembling 
hope. And why should I, when giving no evidence 
that my heart is changed ? — It is true my feelings 
are in some degree altered, and I no longer find en- 
joyment in many things which once gave me plea- 
sure. When I can with penitence and devotion, lift 
up my heart to Heaven's Mercy seat — a peace and 
serenity steal over my mind, which at other times, 
I seek in vain to enjoy. 

" At times, I am deeply sensible of the uncertainty 
of life, and the awful realities attending a dying hour. 
— But oh the deceitfulness and hardness of my heart. 
— J do not, cannot feel as I would or as 1 ought. My 
dear R, will you not remember me in your interces- 
sions at the throne of mercy 1 And whenever a prayer 
ascends for the well being of Margaretta, let the 
name of her friend mingle in your aspirations, and 
may He, who turns not a deaf ear to the suppliant, 
answer and bless you. 

" Your sincere and affectionate 

Sarah Louisa." 

No language could convey a more vivid conception 



MRS. TAYLOR. 37 

of her spiritual state. With the utmost frankness, 
she gives expression to the deep emotions of her soul. 
A conflict was evidently going on within. Two 
opposing principles seem to be contending for the 
ascendency. She knew the right, was fully persuaded 
of its inestimable value, yet was unwilling to loose 
her hold of the other. She looked upon the valley 
of death, when uncheered by the bright rays of the 
everlasting Gospel, as a dreary scene ; while the na- 
tural alienation of her heart was such, that she refused 
to cast herself unreservedly upon God. On the first 
of May, her health was so far restored that she again 
entered school, as an associate teacher ; where she 
continued two years, diligent in the performance of 
her duties, and greeted with the approbation of those 
who entrusted their children to her care. — 

Miss Foote had for a long time been fully con- 
vinced, of the supreme value of religion, and of the 
necessity of becoming a new creature in Christ Jesus. 
Her conscience had been enlightened and often power- 
fully affected, but those precious seasons of solemn 
and touching interest had passed away, leaving her 
destitute of pure and elevated enjoyment. Yet the 
great Shepherd of Israel, who never slumbereth nor 
sleepeth, kept her under his watchful care, preserved 
her from numerous temptations, and, in a way that 
she little anticipated, brought her to a saving know- 
ledge of himself. 

4 



38 MEMOIR OF 

During her residence in New York, she had found 
in her cousin, Mr. T., a valuable friend and counsellor. 
He took a lively interest in her welfare, and was ever 
ready to afford her any assistance that might be re- 
quisite. She went to him as to a father, sought his 
advice in all trying cases,and literally made his house 
her home. On the 11th of December, in the 34th 
year of his age, he was suddenly called from the 
scenes of earth. This was to Miss Foote one of 
those severely afflictive dispensations, which with- 
draws the soul from sublunary objects, and gives a 
new impress to the character. The aspect of every 
thing around her was changed, and though she could 
not address her Heavenly Father as a reconciled God, 
she recognized his hand in the event, was solicitous 
to hear his voice, and be directed in his holy ways. 

Her correspondence at this period, bears ample 
testimony to the manner in which she was affected 
by the visitation — her attachment to her departed 
friend, and deep sympathy, with his surviving part- 
ner. Writing to her mother, Jan. 25, 1828, she says, 
" Death has visited our family, and torn from us one 
of its dearest and most valued members. Yes, our be- 
loved cousin, Lewis, is a tenant of the cold grave. I 
need not tell you how deeply his loss has been felt by 
his family and friends. All who knew him, loved him. 
His memory will long be cherished with affection, 
respect,and gratitude. He sat up and conversed freely 



MRS. TAYLOR. 39 

the evening before he died. How little did I think, 
that I was listening, for the last time, to that voice, 
which had so often afforded me delight, and given me 
the most affectionate advice. — I could not have gazed 
calmly on his much loved countenance, had I thought 
those expressive features were so soon to bear the 
stamp of the king of terors. On taking leave I gave 
him my hand, he pressed it affectionately, and looked 
me full in the face — His last emphatic * good nightf 
still rings in my ears. Before the dawn of another 
morning, he was in the eternal world. We have the 
unspeakable satisfaction of believing that he sleeps 
in Jesus. He has left a circle of friends, whose hearts 
were bound to him by the strongest ties, for the 
society of angels, and the spirits of just men made 
perfect; a world of sin, sorrow, and disappointment, for 
one of infinite happiness, and unfading glory. During 
his illness, a great change took place in his views 
and feelings. He was led to believe, and rejoice, in 
the blessed Jesus. Never was there a more upright, 
moral, or charitable man, but he did not found his 
hopes of salvation on his own good works — He trusted 
solely in the merits of the Redeemer, and, I doubt 
not, was supported through the dark valley of the 
shadow of death, by that Almighty Friend, who will 
be his portion forever. I trust that this afflicting event 
will teach us all, the uncertainty of life, and its fairest 
prospects ; and the great importance of living in con- 



40 MEMOIR OF 

stant readiness for our last great change. Truly in 
the midst of life we are in death !" 

In a letter to her sister, dated Feb. 15, she dwells 
on the same subject, and gives some additional par- 
ticulars. " On Monday, Dec. 3, cousin Lewis walk- 
ed twice to his office — the last time he was unable 
to reach home without assistance. He said to cou- 
sin Mary that evening, ' I am impressed with the 
idea that this is to be my last sickness. Should this 
be the case, bear it with all possible fortitude, — pre- 
pare yourself for the event. As for me I have suffi- 
cient to do, to make my peace with my Maker.' He 
read much in the Bible, and engaged frequently and 
fervently in prayer. The leading subject of his 
petitions, was, — that his heart might be changed, 
and made fit for the residence of the Holy Spirit. 
After an affecting season of religious conversation 
and prayer, he retired, and the Lord in great mercy 
lifted the light of his countenance upon him. Cousin 
Mary approached his bedside, and asked him how 
he felt ? With every feature of his pale countenance 
beaming celestial radiance, he said, ' I am rejoicing 
every moment.' ' In what, she said, are you rejoic- 
ing' ? * In the hope that through Christ, I have 
found pardon of sin, and acceptance with God.' To 
this she remarked, ' I hope that you are not deceived.' 
' Oh no, he replied, I trust I am not deceived — I feel 
that I am a new man in Christ Jesus.' 



MRS. TAYLOR. 41 

To one already awakened to the painful conscious- 
ness of her own perilous condition, without an interest 
in the Saviour, a close view of death and eternity, 
could not fail to produce thrilling emotions. Some of 
her absent friends improved the occasion, by direct- 
ing her thoughts to the source of everlasting consola- 
tion. The following letter from a young lady with 
whom she had been intimate at the Academy, gives 
pleasing evidence of the writer's solicitude, that her 
friend should enjoy richer blessings than earth can 
ever bestow. 

"Colchester, January 14, 1828. 

"I do, my dear S., most truly and affectionately, 
sympathize with you in your recent affliction. I can 
easily conceive, that all the tender susceptibilities of 
your heart have been moved, by the death of this 
friend to whom you looked as to a father. — When 
the grave has closed forever upon one of those dear 
as life to our souls, and we feel that his society can 
no longer enliven, nor his kindness smooth our rough 
passage through this world of sorrow ; — when we 
recollect the ten thousand instances of his undissem- 
bled love, and at the same time reflect, that, where 
we are he can never come ; that ' he is not,' for God 
has taken him, our hearts are ready to burst within 
us, our souls are in anguish at the affecting recol- 
lections. Still, my friend, would we, if it were in 
our power, recall our departed friends, who have died 



43 MEMOIR OF 

in the Lord, to this state of suffering, to sigh and groan 
with us, to have their hearts rent with our sorrows 
as well as their own. Oh no, we rather rejoice that 
they have entered on a state of endless and uninter- 
rupted enjoyment, — that they have gone to be forever 
with the Lord, and fervently pray that we may be 
prepared to join them, ' though it be by fire.' 

" This event, you tell me, has stamped vanity upon 
every earthly enjoyment. I trust the remembrance 
of it will always be vivid before you. Yes, Sarah, 
it is painfully true, that this world is a state of sor- 
row and suffering. All earthly hopes and prospects 
may fade in a moment. We cling to one object after 
another, and, until compelled by sad experience, do 
not realize that there is but one object worthy of our 
love. — I can look back to days of joy and of grief. 
I have basked in the sunshine of prosperity, and felt 
the keen rude blasts of adversity. I have enjoyed 
friends, true andtried,and have trusted to those whom, 
a winter's storm has driven from me. I have mingled 
in the gay and giddy circle, and have stood and 
watched by the bed of sickness and of death. I have 
tasted the most unalloyed earthly pleasures, and my 
heart has been broken and rent asunder. May I not 
then be credited in declaring, that religion alone can 
support us in life, comfort us in death, and render us 
eternally happy beyond the grave. Try it, my Sarah, 
and you will have no cause for regret. 

"Your affectionate Mary E." 



MRS. TAYLOR. 43 

Those may be regarded as blessed with a distin- 
guished privilege, who, in the time of affliction, have 
such a friend to suggest to their minds the inestim- 
able value of divine truth, and by the soothing power 
of friendship, to aid in preparing for permanent and 
unalloyed felicity. Miss Foote was not insensible 
to the kindness which prompted these suggestions, 
nor to the solicitude for her immortal welfare, mani- 
fest in every line. It will be a subject of regret to 
all who peruse this memoir, that her reply, together 
with other valuable letters to the same friend, was a 
short time since accidentally consumed. — To another 
friend and former school-mate, she communicated on 
the 14th of April, an interesting account of her per- 
sonal history, with the various aspects in which the 
dispensations of Providence were unfolded to her 
view. 

" My ever dear E. 

" How many fond recollections of the ' days 
of other times' did the perusal of your letter awaken ! 
Those were indeed ' halcyon days' 'free from care 
and free from strife.' In those days I formed many 
attachments, some of which I firmly believe will 
never weaken. No, though time, absence, and adver- 
sity combine, they will never give place to acquaint- 
ances of a day — The friends whom I then loved 
still retain the same place, in my heart. You must 
not suppose I have since formed no friendships ; that 



44 MEMOIR OF 

would be unlike me. You are aware that I cannot 
reside long in any place, without becoming interested 
in those with whom I have intercourse. 

" You bid me give my history for the past year — 
It will recall many hours of pleasure, and a greater 
number of bitterness. When I say of pleasure, I refer 
to the pleasure of friendship, with one who had pro- 
ved worthy of my gratitude and my love, who, from my 
first coming here, had manifested the regard and at- 
tention of the most affectionate brother — who has been 
my guide, my counsellor, my confidant in every thing, 
my — friend. 

" When I mention hours of anguish, I allude to the 
feelings experienced, when I looked upon this friend 
and saw his features without expression — his form 
without animation, and clad in the habiliments of the 
grave — I allude to the sensations which pervaded 
every nerve, when I cast the last look upon his altered 
countenance, just before he was consigned to the 
narrow house appointed for all the living 

"At that time, dear E., I felt the vanity, and realized 
the uncertainty, of every earthly good, and was aston- 
ished, that I could ever have been so strongly attach- 
ed to objects unworthy of my regard, that I could 
ever have planned with confidence scenes of future 
happiness, when I ought to have remembered, that 
the events of one hour often frustrate the schemes 
of many years — when I ought to have reflected that 
we know not what a day may bring forth. In view 



MRS. TAYLOR. 45 

of such considerations, I have felt, that nothing but 
religion was worth seeking or possessing — What 
else can heal the lacerated heart, or produce calm- 
ness and holy acquiescence in the midst of overwhelm- 
ing sorrow ? — What scene can be more melting, than 
to see the strongest ties dissolved by death — a most 
fond and indulgent husband and father torn from the 
embrace of those he loved, and committed to the silent 
grave ! What but religion can enable us to take a 
consoling view of these heart rending events 1 — can 
point us to a meeting with the followers of the Lamb, 
a meeting blissful and eternal ? — Thanks be to the 
giver of every good, with reference to our departed 
friend, ' we sorrow not as those without hope.' The 
sting of death was removed, he triumphed in view of 
the glories that awaited him, and we doubt not is 
uniting with the spirits of just men made perfect, in 
ascribing thanksgiving and praises to that Saviour, 
who redeemed him by his own precious blood. 

" Tuesday Evening. 
" I have often thought of you my beloved E. since 
I read your letter, and became acquainted with 
your feelings and resolutions on the most important 
of all concerns, the interests of your immortal soul 
Oh that I could see you, and unite with you in seek- 
ing salvation, in imploring forgiveness of sin, and sup- 
plicating strength to persevere and grace to humble . 
I am more and more convinced of the realities of reli- 



46 MEMOIR OF 

gion, and am striving, by divine assistance, to lay hold 
of that hope, that blessed hope, which the Gospel 
inspires. Would that I could be with you to be en- 
couraged by your example, stren gthened by unreserved 
intercourse, that we might walk hand in hand, and 
heart united with heart, in the narrow path that leads 
to eternal blessedness. — What is life ? What are all 
the splendor, the gaiety, the apparent enjoyment 
which we observe around us ? All is vanity. What 
is the end of the same, but sorrow, lamentation and 
mourning 1 How soon the cold grave will encircle 
these votaries of earthly things ! We need more forci- 
bly to realize, that ' In the midst of life we are in 
death.' 

" You speak of our dear Mrs. V. I heard of her 
death from my valued correspondent M. E. C, and 
received from her an obituary notice. When you 
think of the close of her existence, of the brightness 
of her hope, and the strength of her faith, does it not 
encourage you to persevere % Does not your heart 
burn within you, to imitate her example, to tread in 
her footsteps % Could I be assured that my peace was 
made with heaven, I would be content to spend my 
days in the humblest station. — Were the Saviour 
indeed my friend, oh transporting thought! what 
would be all the sorrows, the disappointments, the 
trials of this vain world? — Though separated in body, 
let us, my dear friend, be united in spirit. We have 



MRS. TAYLOR. 47 

the assurance that where two or three are agreed to- 
gether respecting any thing, and ask it of their Hea- 
venly Father, it shall be granted. Let us take en- 
couragement and daily supplicate for each other, that 
we may through divine grace overcome every obsta- 
cle, that the time may soon arrive, when we shall be 
united not only by the bonds of friendship, but by the 
stronger ties of christian love, when we shall have 
one heart, one hope, one heaven. 

" Your truly affectionate, Sarah L. " 

Mrs. Vose, to whom allusion is made in the pre- 
ceding letter, was a favorite instructer and christian 
friend of Miss Foote. She died at the residence of 
her father, the Hon. John Vose, in Pembroke, N.H. 
February 5, 1828. " Few females have lived more 
justly respected, or died more deeply lamented. Blest 
with pious parents and a religious education, she was 
early the subject of serious impressions, but the 
charms of literature, the pleasures of taste and im- 
agination, and the allurements of fashionable society, 
took such hold of her mind as to prevent her for a 
long time, from yielding to the self-denying influence 
of our holy religion. 

"In 1821, while presiding over a group of young 
ladies in Pembroke Academy, she felt her responsi- 
bility as she had never done before. She saw her 
own guilt and the danger of her beloved pupils while 
out of Christ. But if she exhorted them to flee from 



48 MEMOIR OF 

the coming wrath, she feared they might justly reply, 
Physician heal thyself! By the transforming influ- 
ence of the Holy Spirit, she was led in deep humility 
to the Saviour's cross, and to an entire consecration 
of all her powers to the service of her Lord and 
Master. — In 1823, she was married to Mr. Francis 
Vose, and passed the remainder of her days, until 
the failure of her health, at Colchester, Conn., and 
Charlestown, Mass., associated with him in the busi- 
ness of instruction. By the faithful discharge of her 
duty, her condescending and affectionate treatment 
of her pupils, and her deep solicitude for their future 
welfare, she was strongly endeared to their hearts. 
Her friends were cheered in her sickness by her 
christian submission, heavenly calmness, and pious 
conversation. As the night of death drew near, her 
countenance evidently brightened, assuming a placid 
and smiling aspect, which seemed to tell of joys to 
come. The parting scene was melting, was over- 
whelming to all but the dying saint. With a full 
conviction that the termination of her life was at hand, 
she spoke of 'the comfort of a trust in the Saviour,' 
and observing her sisters in tears, requested them 
'not to weep for her, but to prepare to die.' " 

Miss Foote may be ranked among the number of 
those, who, through much tribulation, are brought to a 
just apprehension of divine things. She watched and 
sympathized with others when her own heart was in 



MRS. TAYLOR. 49 

heaviness. Yet beams of mercy were visible in all 
her trials. Joy and sorrow were mingled in her cup. 
About this time she received the gratifying informa- 
tion, that a beloved sister, bound to her heart by those 
endearing ties, which no separation, no diversity of 
sentiment can diminish, was strengthened to cast 
herself unreservedly upon the Lord, and embrace 
with animated faith the precious promises. No in- 
telligence of worldly prosperity could have awakened 
in her mind such emotions. " Her feelings of joy 
were indescribable." Who does not perceive that 
the Lord was mercifully preparing her, for those 
communications of his grace, by which her subse- 
quent life was cheered ? This sister, the only one 
that now survives, was extremely solicitous that she 
should fully realize the exceedingriches of the divine 
compassion, and participate in the blessings of the 
gospel. She placed in her hands a Tract of the most 
persuasive and awakenening kind, and called her 
attention in an especial manner to its contents. Sarah, 
in acknowledging its receipt, remarks, " I thank you 
for the Tract that you sent me. I read it attentively 
and I trust prayerfully. I do not think that I have 
indeed chosen the good part, but feel more and more 
my need of it, and am deeply affected in view of my 
lost state by nature, and the necessity of applying to 
the only fountain that can cleanse me from my guilt. 
— I long to spend a larger portion of my time in soli- 
5 



50 MEMOIR, ETC. 

tude. — Very frequently I am obliged to hear and join 
in conversation in which my heart cannot participate. 
I hope and pray that I may be truly penitent, that 
my heart may be broken on account of sin, that it 
may be subdued and weaned from the world.— I am 
persuaded that religion is all that is worth living for. 
It is my first and highest wish that I may experience 
its consolations and perform its duties." 



CHAPTER III. 



Visit to Connecticut — Strivings of the Holy Spirit — Harlan 
Page — Pastoral Fidelity — Description of the Christian cha- 
racter — Peace and joy in believing — Letters to Miss N. — 
Important resolution. 

In August Miss Foote visited her beloved home, 
and once more mingled her feelings with those who 
surrounded her father's table. The trials, vicissitudes 
and afflictions of the past year would naturally pass 
in review. She often recurred to the religious anxiety 
she had cherished, recognized the kind hand of an 
overruling Providence, and expressed the strong con- 
viction that she should yet rejoice in God her 
Saviour. 

It will be seen from the tenor of the preceding re- 
marks, that the concerns of her soul had acquired a 
firmer hold of her attention, that she could no longer 
remain at ease, without a well grounded confidence 
that her peace was made with God. The autumn 
of 1 828, and following winter, beheld in her one of 
the severest conflicts in which a mortal has engaged. 
To those who have never felt the renewing power of 
divine grace, or the exceeding sinfulness of the human 



52 MEMOIR OF 

heart it will doubtless appear strange, that one so 
amiable and endowed with so many lovely qualities, 
should need that decided and thorough change of 
which the Bible speaks. Indeed previous to this 
time, she seems not to have bee*n fully conscious, how 
far she was from the kingdom of God. By the energy 
of the Holy Spirit, a new view of her character was 
unfolded, one from which she could not turn away. 
The light of eternal truth broke in upon her. She 
saw the vileness of her heart, and wept in secret 
places. Her conviction of the heinousness of her 
sins became truly agonizing. She knew not whence 
to obtain relief. Under the influence of these feel- 
ings the following lines were addressed to her 
sister : — 

" New York, Oct. 29, 1828. 
" Oh my dear sister, it would be a comfort to me, 
if I could see you, and tell you what I passed through 
the last week — I will not attempt to describe with 
my pen what have been my sensations. There have 
been times when had you been with me, you would 
have mingled your tears and your prayers with mine. 
— With trembling hand and with tearful eyes do I 
assure you, that I have experienced feelings which 
I never knew before, and yet I seem as far from the 
Saviour as ever. If conversation with christians, if 
their prayers or my own could afford relief, I should 
not remain in my present state. But my proud re- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 53 

bellious heart refuses to bow. Let me engage in 
whatever I will I cannot escape from myself, I am 
unhappy, yes miserable. # * * 

" Whatever may be the result of the present con- 
flict, and however widely we may differ in sentiment, 
it will be my fervent prayer that you may be happy, 
happy in the only way in which true happiness can 
be found, an humble trust in the Saviour. When these 
things occupy my mind, a gleam of joy will some- 
times dart through it, from the thought that nothing 
will divide us in another world ; that there we shall 
see clearly and alike. No doubt or division will ever 
enter those blessed mansions. — Presumptuous as it 
may seem, even in my greatest distress, I have, as 
I told you last summer, a secret hope, a hope that 
nothing will overcome, that I shall yet rejoice in God 
my Saviour. Pray for me that such may be the case, 
that I may persevere, and overcome every obstacle. 
"Your affectionate sister, 

Sarah ." 

I find among the papers of Miss Foote, a note with- 
out date, evidently addressed to Mrs. T., and enclos- 
ing some of her husband's hair. From an allusion, 
which it contains to the period that had elapsed since 
his death, it was probably written about this time. 

" When I gaze upon the contents of the enclosed 
paper, my dearest cousin, it causes emotions to swell 
5* 



54 MEMOIR OF 

my breast, and gives rise to thoughts which I cannot 
express. One short year ago, who would have 
thought of this ! and yet almost a year has passed 
away since we cast a last, a lingering look upon his 
clay cold features, or heard the sound of his much 
loved voice. How often have my fingers passed 
through these locks, when they covered his throbbing 
temples. How often have I listened with attention, 
and almost with reverence, while he gave me the 
most affectionate advice. Never shall I forget his 
counsel or his kindness. Though years should roll 
away and leave me still on the shores of time, they 
will never efface from my mind his form or his friend- 
ship. One look at these dear relics is sufficient to 
revive every recollection in all its force. But when 
I think of him as he was, and as he is, my thoughts 
do not follow him to the grave and then leave him. 
Oh, no, my mind insensibly soars above all transitory 
things, and dwells with delight on the glorious hope, 
he has left us. — At such times, my dear cousin, not 
even his bereaved family can claim a thought — earth 
and its concerns are trifles. — To think of his release 
from them all, of his infinite happiness and unfading 
glory, and then turn again to the objects that surround 
me, my heart sickens. I do sincerely desire to be 
prepared to meet him ; to be assured of an inheritance 
in a better world. Then earth should disturb me no 
more, I would look forward with joy to my final re- 
lease. May the time soon come when we shall both 



MRS. TAYLOR. 55 

have that assurance ; when we shall anticipate the 
hour of death, as one that will release us from sin 
and sorrow, and unite us to those we have loved, to 
be separated from them no more forever." 

The wish expressed in the conclusion of the pro- 
ceeding note, appears to have been soon gratified, so 
far as it related to Mrs. T. A letter from Miss 
Foote to her sister, dated the third of January, 1829, 
contains the pleasing information. " Let me add one 
thing which will give you joy. Cousin Mary has 
found peace in believing. She now can say that 'she 
is Christ's and Christ is her's.'" 

That period in the life of individuals, in which the 
vain allurements of earth are relinquished, and a rel- 
ish acquired for the enjoyment of holy beings, can- 
not be recurred to without the most affecting interest. 
It is often marked by circumstances which fix the 
recollection of it deep in the mind. The impression 
made is solemn and powerful. It is the commence- 
ment of a new era in their existence, in which the 
soul is released from the bondage of sin, and admitted 
to the glorious liberty of the sons of God. The light 
of God's countenance is lifted upon them. They 
know from blessed experience what it is to pass from 
death unto life, and how great is the happiness of 
that man whose sins are forgiven. Yet such is the 
waywardness of the human heart, and so great the 
reluctance to make a full surrender to the Lord, that 



56 MEMOIR OF 

the transition from nature to grace, frequently unfolds 
a scene which calls for the liveliest commiseration. 
The soul bowed down in anguish seems to ask of all 
that are moving on thoughtlessly in a sinful career, 
"Is it nothing to you all ye that pass by? Behold 
and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow !" 
" May not you be involved in the same danger which 
stares me in the face ? I have present evidence of 
my guilt. I feel its keenest pangs. Is it certain that 
you will always be exempt? Think it not strange 
that I have hung my harp upon the willows, that I 
have forsaken those paths in which I formerly walk- 
ed. The terrors of the Almighty laid hold upon me. 
I no longer love the ways in which my heart delighted, 
and which once seemed right. The end thereof are 
the ways of death. Is not the same true of your 
ways ? Can you be uninterested or unfeeling spec- 
tators when the Lord's hand is upon me ? " 

In this manner the Lord wounds that he may heal. 
He softens the hard and flinty heart that it may be- 
come a fit residence for the Holy Spirit. He humbles 
awakened sinners in the dust, by a deep and painful 
consciousness of the enormity of sin, shows them the 
disorder they have produced in the best of govern- 
ments, convinces them that remaining in their pre- 
sent condition, they will be banished eternally from 
his presence. They read their condemnation in 
every page of the sacred volume. Gladly would they 



MRS. TAYLOR. 57 

conceal themselves from the piercing glance of Jeho- 
vah, but they cannot flee even from themselves. The 
irreversible sentence of their final judge seems to 
ring in their ears. Cut off from hope — their peace 
destroyed — death and destruction before them, they 
water their couch with their tears. There is no sor- 
row like unto that of a troubled conscience — No dan- 
ger so appalling, as that awakened by the fear of fall- 
ing into the hands of an offended God. They mourn 
for the loss of God — the loss of holiness — the loss of 
heaven — These all united in one thought — the loss 
of their souls. 

The reader will perceive the bearing of these re- 
marks with reference to Miss Foote. They were 
suggested from a contemplation of the developement 
of her feelings and character at the period to which 
we have arrived. Their application to her expe- 
rience will appear the more striking, when the pre- 
vious state of her mind is considered. She had long 
been interested in conversation about divine things ; 
her letters give no slight indications that religion was 
a favorite topic, that she appreciated its claims, re- 
joiced in witnessing its influence, and was solicitous 
to make a wise improvement of each afflictive event. 
She seemed to all her acquaintance destined to be a 
gem in the Redeemer's crown. — Who can form an 
adequate conception of the deceitfulness of the 
human heart ? This amiable and affectionate indi- 



58 MEMOIR OF 

vidual was extremely reluctant to humble herself be- 
fore the cross. The opposition of the carnal mind 
to the requisitions of the gospel was clearly displayed. 
Yes, strange as it may appear, when the holiness of 
the divine character, the sovereignty of Jehovah, and 
her absolute dependence for every thing upon free 
unmerited grace, were distinctly unfolded, she would 
fain have turned from the contemplation, and obtained 
relief in her distress from other sources. When the 
Holy Spirit arrayed before her in a conspicuous man- 
ner, all that is affecting in the ingratitude and hard- 
ness of heart by which the offers of mercy are re- 
jected, she still clung to her selfish idols. Yet she 
could not endure the thought of being considered op- 
posed to the divine government, and wished, that 
her intimaie friends should not know how severe a 
conflict was going on within. For a while she in- 
dulged herself in gay society, to banish if possible 
her overwhelming convictions of the enormity of sin, 
and her alienation from God. This expedient, how- 
ever it might avail for the passing moment, left her 
in a more deplorable state than ever. She was miser- 
able wherever she went, and even formed the deter- 
mination to decline all intercourse with religious peo- 
ple. — " I could not bear the idea," she says in 
writing to her sister, " of conversing with any person 
respecting my feelings. I considered them sacred, 
and resolved to confine them to my own bosom." 






MRS. TAYLOR. 59 

To this resolution, though as she afterwards thought 
to her own injury, she faithfully adhered, until, in an un- 
expected and providential manner,she was drawn into 
conversation, and induced to disclose the movements 
of her mind, on the most important of all subjects. 
In alluding to her former reserve, she thus writes : 
" Why is it, my dear sister, that while nearly all will 
acknowledge the importance of religion over every 
thing else, yet when they have a conviction of sin, 
of righteousness, and of judgment to come, they shrink 
from an avowal of their feelings, and even seek to 
conceal them as though they were degrading 1 Why 
is it, that a feeling of shame is expressed by the coun- 
tenance, if not felt when addressed on the subject V 9 

The person, to whom she communicated her feel- 
ings, and who manifested so lively an interest in her 
eternal welfare, was the devoted and indefatigable 
Harlan Page. He visited her frequently, and de- 
scribed, in a vivid and touching manner, the danger of 
her continuing impenitent, and the greatness of the 
Saviour's compassion. He urged the necessity of 
her giving her heart to the Lord, engaging actively 
in duty, and living with habitual reference to the 
glory of God. Perceiving that she possessed qualities, 
admirably adapted for enlisting the affections of 
others, and guiding them in the most desirable chan- 
nel, he directed her thoughts to the salvation of those 
within the sphere of her influence. " Can you not 



60 MEMOIR OF 

says he, think of dear friends, who you are anxious 
should become sharers in the blessings of the gospel ? 
Does not your mind rest on many whom you can 
warn of their danger and urge to attend to the salva- 
tion of their souls ?" Few have been more persever- 
ing in efforts for the spiritual benefit of others, than 
this faithful individual. His spirit has already taken 
its flight to the Paradise of God ; but his memory is 
embalmed in many a grateful heart. He left his 
friends, the comforting, dying testimony, "I com- 
mend myself to thee, Jesus, Saviour of sinners. O 
the infinite love of Christ : I may stop my mouth and 
lie in the dust." 

From a letter of a later date than the preceding 
interviews, we find Miss Foote still a stranger to that 
peace which the Lord only can bestow. 

" When lam left by myself, my mind dwells with 
such intense interest on the solemn concerns of my 
immortal soul, that nothing appears so strange, as that 
even the most important of the things of earth, should 
engross my attention. It is indeed an awful infatua- 
tion — -I know not a moment's peace. Formerly I 
thought it was an easy thing to be a Christian, and 
believed that I should, at some future day, experience 
that change of which I had heard others speak. Now 
that hope is swept away, not a vestige remains. If 
T . had been really desirous of a reconciliation with 
God, why did I not years ago become his servant ? 



MRS. TAYLOR. 61 

Will not the light that has been shed upon my mind, 
and the instruction that I have received, aggravate 
my guilt ? I have been more solicitous to pry into 
the mysteries of Providence, and become acquainted 
with the secret purposes of Jehovah, than to follow 
the path of duty." 

About this time the Rev. Mr. Fraser took charge 
of the congregation, to which she was attached, in 
whom she found a pastor well qualified to direct her 
mind on spiritual subjects. She considered him a 
man of deep religious experience, intimately ac- 
quainted with the movements of the human heart, 
and able to speak a word in season, adapted to the 
condition of those with whom he conversed. At 
first she declined an interview with him, determin- 
ing if possible not to increase her condemnation by 
receiving additional religious light. She afterwards 
met him, by appointment, at the house of her cousin 
Mrs. T., and freely unfolded to him the rebellious 
state of her heart. He was much affected by the 
disclosure, and addressed her in a most solemn and 
pathetic manner, reminding her of her awfully peril- 
ous condition, and of the reason there was to appre- 
hend, that if she persisted in her present career, 
lamentable consequences would ensue. He por- 
trayed by the strong light of eternal truth, the aggra- 
vated guilt of those, who seemed at war with Hea- 
ven, opposing the counsels of Jehovah, and rushing 
6 



62 MEMOIR OF 

heedlessly in the path to ruin. Her heart was bro- 
ken on account of sin. She resorted with increased 
confidence to a throne of grace, and sought continu- 
ally for strength to yield herself entirely to the Lord, 
and be resigned to his holy will. " The Lord" she 
observes, " in boundless mercy, convinced me that 
secret things belong to the Most High, but revealed 
things to us for our belief, submission, and obe- 
dience."-— -In subsequent communications to her sis- 
ter, she speaks in strong terms of the faithfulness of 
her pastor, his diligence in visiting from house to 
house, and her regard for him as the chief instrument 
employed by the Holy Spirit, in conducting her to 
the paths of peace. At his request, she commu- 
nicated to him in writing her views of the christian 
character. They are here presented, from the belief 
that they afford evidence of her advancement in 
divine knowledge, and contain many thoughts on 
which individuals in the early stages of a religious 
life, may dwell with profit. 

" A christian is one who exercises repentance to- 
wards God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He 
is indeed a new creature. Not that his natural 
powers and faculties are changed, but a new princi- 
ple of action is implanted in his heart by the Holy 
Ghost, which transforms the affections, motives and 
desires, from sin to holiness. — He has an abiding 
sense of his own weakness, and continual depend- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 63 

ence upon his Heavenly Parent. In every object 
and event he recognizes an Almighty hand. Does 
he observe the wild commotion of the elements ? 
He refers it to the power of Him who maketh the 
clouds his chariot, and rideth upon the wings of the 
wind. Does he gaze upon the murmuring rivulet 1 
there too he traces the finger of the Creator, and 
'looks through nature up to nature's God.' Is he 
prosperous in his worldly affairs ? He gratefully 
adores a bountiful Providence, and endeavors to use 
his possessions as not abusing them. Are his earthly 
comforts removed ? Is he bereft of tender and 
beloved friends ? He acknowledges the hand of 
God in every dispensation ; and remembers that 
whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth 
every son whom he receiveth. 

" The christian is humble, ever solicitous not to 
think of himself more highly then he ought. He 
assumes no borrowed appearance, but desires to be 
taken for what he really is. He will often practice 
self-examination, and scrutinize the motives by which 
he is actuated. When in the eyes of the world he 
appears upright and consistent, he will see in his 
own heart much to deplore. Yes, when retired from 
the observation of every earthly being, he will hum- 
ble himself in the dust, and implore forgiveness for 
those sins which are known only to God. — His pre- 
vailing temper is heavenly, and opportunities for 



64 MEMOIR OF 

communion with his God and Saviour, will be 
cherished with delight. These holy exercises will 
be accompanied by corresponding actions. Sin will 
be abhorred, not only because it brought death into 
the world and all our woe, but because it is dishon- 
orable to God, and odious in his sight. Hence the 
christian will seek, through divine assistance, to sub- 
due those natural passions and inclinations, which 
so often lead him astray. He is convinced that he 
cannot serve two masters, and feels the necessity of 
living above the world, and striving to be no longer 
conformed to its spirit, governed by its precepts, or 
intimidated by its frowns. He is not satisfied with 
merely endeavoring to refrain from sin, but will seek 
to perform every christian duty. His fervent prayer 
will be, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do ? And 
when convinced of the course marked out by Infinite 
Wisdom, he will commence it with vigor, and pro- 
ceed with unwearied diligence ; willing to spend 
and be spent in his master's service, and desiring 
that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus 
Christ. He is persuaded, that it is not for his hap- 
piness alone, that the Lord has had mercy upon him, 
and granted him the consoling hope, of having pass- 
ed from death unto life. He deeply feels for the 
immortal souls of those, with whom he has daily 
intercourse, and not for them only, but for a world 
lying in wickedness. His compassionate regard 



MRS. TAYLOR. 65 

will be evinced by constant exertions to promote 
their spiritual welfare. 

" The conversation of a christian is holy. No one 
has a claim to the name or privileges of a child of 
God, whose thoughts do not dwell with lively 
interest upon things spiritual and divine. And if 
from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh, 
can he be silent on those heavenly themes ? When 
addressed upon them, a glow of shame will not 
suffuse his cheek, nor will he, by impatience or 
inattention, give reason for inferring that the subject 
is irksome or unpleasant. — Love is the prevailing 
spirit of his heart. He is connected with his chris- 
tian brethren by a bond of union and sympathy, far 
stronger, than that which unites the nearest earthly 
relatives, who are strangers to the love of God. 
Sensible of his own proneness to err, he cannot be 
severe or unfeeling in noticing the imperfections of 
others. Has he received an injury from a fellow 
being ? he will forgive as he desires to be forgiven. 
Nor can he withhold his christian sympathy from 
those, who do not agree with him in every point of 
doctrine, if he sees reason to believe, that they are 
experimentally acquainted with the great truths of 
the gospel. He looks forward to the time, when they 
shall be alike freed from the mists of ignorance, and 
error, from the influence of prejudice, and unhal- 
lowed feeling ; when they shall unite together with 
6* 



66 MEMOIR OF 

the countless multitude, in ascribing thanksgiving 
and praise, to him who loved them and gave himself 
a ransom for them. — Though here his knowledge is 
limited, and he sees only through a glass darkly, yet 
he enjoys a foretaste of that blessedness, which God 
has prepared for those that love him. Death is di- 
vested of its sting. The grave has no terrors. To 
the one he looks forward as a release from sin, and 
a prelude to an eternal union with his Redeemer ; 
to the other, as a quiet resting place, until this cor- 
ruptible shall put on incorruption ; this mortal shall 
put on immortality, and Death be swallowed up in 
victory. " March 8, 1828.— S. L. F." 

We are now to contemplate Miss Foote, as pos- 
sessing some of the lineaments of that character, 
which she so beautifully describes. She had been 
down in the vale of sorrow. Her tears had been her 
meat day and night. The Lord in tender compassion 
brought her to the foot of the cross, melted her soul 
into contrition, and afforded her his gracious assist- 
ance, to lay hold of the precious promise of eternal 
life, through faith in his beloved Son. The first notice 
of this change found in her writings, is contained in 
a letter to her sister, dated April 5, 1829. 

" I tremblingly hope, that I have found peace in 
believing. Rejoice with, and pray for me, and for 
all who are dear to us. O, my sister, can we believe, 
that all who are not born of the Spirit will not see 



MRS. TAYLOR. 67 

life, and yet make no exertion to arrest the progress, 
and turn the course of those associated with us, who 
are in the path to ruin? When I reflect on the sub- 
ject, I long to be engaged in doing something for 
their benefit, and pray that the path of duty may be 
made plain, and that I may have a zeal according to 
knowledge. I would gladly spend the time of my 
sojourning here in the service of God. Pray for me 
that I may persevere, and through divine assistance, 
conquer every evil propensity, and glorify in life and 
death the Saviour who died for us." 

These lines though written under the impulse of 
newly awakened feelings, and while her thoughts 
would naturally rest with peculiar vividness, on the 
scenes through which she had recently passed, dis- 
cover a mind intent on the future, alive to the wel- 
fare of others, and resolved to spend its strength in 
the best of causes. Her prevailing desire was to 
know the will of God, and to walk conformably to 
its dictates. — She could not endure the thought of 
being an idle loiterer in the vineyard of Jehovah, but 
looked around her, as if a new world had burst upon 
her view, to ascertain where she could exert the most 
salutary influence. Every step was taken in a cau- 
tious manner, and accompanied with prayer for divine 
guidance, lest her efforts should be injurious rather 
than beneficial. Her attention was directed first to 
one friend, and then to another, whom she might hope 



68 MEMOIR OF 

to aid in preparing for a better world. After some 
hesitation, she addressed a beloved cousin, with 
whom she had previously corresponded, and who 
was anxiously enquiring, what she should do to be 
saved. 

" New York, April 10, 1829. 
" My dear E. 

" Within the last week, I have several times felt 
constrained to address you, but a feeling which I 
could not, or did not overcome, induced me to delay; 
and now my pen is resumed, what shall I say ? Shall 
I assure you, that you still retain the same place as 
formerly in my affection, though no communication 
has for a long time passed between us ! Such an as- 
surance is unnecessary. But I do hope, we shall be 
enabled henceforward, to call each other by a more 
endearing name, than friend or cousin, even sisters in 
Christ. — I know not how to express my feelings ; 
sister H. has only said sufficient for me to infer 
that your attention is again called to your eternal 
interests. Perhaps my beloved E., you are now re- 
joicing in Redeeming love, and are ready to declare 
to all around you, what, you trust the Lord by his 
Holy Spirit, has done for you. Or it may be, that 
you are still tasting the wormwood and the gall ; if 
the latter be the case, I can from past experience 
sympathize with you. But at the same time would 
point, yea lead you to the Lamb of God, to Him who 



MRS. TAYLOR. 69 

is stooping to embrace you, and unfold to you the 
unspeakable riches of his grace — I would as by force, 
detain you from doing as I have done — I would in 
love ask you, if you are not looking for something 
more, than the simplicity of the gospel. You think 
you are willing to give up all the world for an inter- 
est in Christ, and desire that every idol to which 
you cling, though dear to you as a right eye, may 
be banished from your heart. Would you hesitate 
to go to Christ, if you could yourself pay your ran- 
som, or even palliate your guilt 1 Would you refrain 
from going to him, and acknowledging your trans- 
gressions, if you believed that thereby you would be 
accepted, and become reconciled to him ? 

11 Dear E. we must feel our helplessness as well 
as our sinfulness, or we can never come in a right 
manner. If we could receive pardon without an 
entire renunciation of every merit of our own, we 
should not feel as we ought, we could not give God 
the glory, and rest without fear or doubt, on his faith- 
fulness and compassion. Is it not astonishing that 
after such displays of divine love and goodness, we 
can doubt either the ability or willingness of Christ 
to receive us 1 Are you never pierced, like an arrow 
to the heart, when you think of the privileges you 
have enjoyed, of the instructions you have received, 
of the mercy you have slighted, and especially the 
forbearance of your God? When you reflect on 



70 MEMOIR OF 

these things, and know that they must increase your 
condemnation, are you not overwhelmed? — Look 
away from yourself to the great Physician, he will 
make you whole. Pray for confidence in God, and 
that he will grant you the aid of the Holy Spirit, 
convince you of sin, righteousness, and judgment ; 
show you your true state, and lead you to the Lord 
of life and glory. It is only in the path of duty, that 
we can expect peace, or the light of God's counte- 
nance. If we neglect it, darkness and doubt will 
invariably follow." 

To the same friend she wrote again on the 23d 
of April : — - 

"My dear E. 

" The perusal of your letter, especially the part 
of it which related to your own feelings, excited my 
warmest sympathy. How exactly do your feelings 
correspond with mine, with what mine formerly were, 
yes, recently, for it is but a short time, since I in- 
dulged a trembling hope, that I had indeed fled to 
the only Refuge, that I had surrendered myself un- 
reservedly to Him, who has declared, l Him that 
cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out.' — I 
assure you that from my heart I rejoiced in your 
resolution — 'I am determined to be a christian. 1 
Press forward, my dear cousin, persevere, and He, 
who has begun a good work in your heart, will carry 



MRS. TAYLOR. 71 

it on, until the day of redemption — Now let me ask 
you, why you have not peace ? I will venture to 
answer from my own experience — There is some- 
thing in your heart, which has never yet been given 
up, a certain indescribable feeling, at variance with 
God, which, however humbly and impassionately, 
you may say, ' Here, Lord, I give myself to theej 
'tis all that I can do,' still remains. I well know 
what this feeling is, though I cannot find language 
to express it, and am constrained to say, O that I 
could see you. But if I have rightly apprehended 
your case, go again and again, and pray for assist- 
ance to overcome that reluctant heart. Endeavor to 
adopt and feel the words of the poet : — 

1 Here Lord to thee I all resign ; 
To draw, redeem, and seal is thine.'' 

"Have you not prayed dear E., that you might 
never rest, until you found peace in believing? that 
the evil of your heart, and the heinousness of your 
sins in the sight of God, might be spread before 
you ? Have you not asked that every sinful desire 
might be suppressed, and you made willing to be 
Christ's, in his own way— upon his own terms? If you 
have felt a transient peace, for which you could not 
account, did you not wish for all your fears again, 
and tremble lest the Spirit had left you ? When 
your prayer has been answered, and your sins 



72 MEMOIR OF 

spread before you ; have you not felt that they could 
never be overcome ? and been ready to exclaim, 'who 
is sufficient for these things' — forgetting that there is 
One, who can enable us to come off more than con- 
querors 1 If such have been, or are now your feel- 
ings, do not wait in the hope of feeling differently. 
Go, with all your sins upon you, with all your in- 
gratitude, hardness of heart, and unbelief — confes- 
sing your helplessness and need of mercy — go to 
him, who alone can pardon, and strengthen you, and 
leave yourself there ; — and if you feel any risings of 
heart, do it again, and you will be accepted and per- 
mitted to rejoice. 

"I seem to hear you say, 'All this is plain to my 
mind. I see it clearly, and could point out the way 
to others — but I feel so little — it is this that dis- 
tresses me — that amidst so much light and know- 
ledge, and with so clear views of truth, my heart 
should be so little affected.' — Is not this after all 
the point of difficulty 1 If so, let me assure you, 
that you are waiting for something, and desirous 
of experiencing something, for which you will seek 
in vain. It is submission that is necessary — simply 
trust in the promises of God, which are yea, and 
amen in Christ Jesus. — When you read his invita- 
tions and entreaties — his expressions of love and 
mercy, to lost sinners ; remember that He is the same 
yesterday, to-day, and forever. — Go to Him in faith, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 73 

and he will graciously receive you, and strengthen 
you, to become all that he would have you to be. 

"With regard to myself, I can only say that on 
the approaching Sunday, I expect to profess my 
faith in Christ, to renounce the world as the supreme 
object of my affections, to take the Lord to be my 
God, to enter into covenant with Him, and choose 
Him as my everlasting portion. 

" Solemn and awful are the transactions before me. 
May I ever feel them to be so. Pray much forme, 
that I may from the heart, renounce the world and 
its follies, and be more and more conformed to the 
image and temper of Him, the emblems of whose 
body and blood, I am so soon to receive. 1 hope 
shortly to hear, that you too have found that peace 
which passeth understanding, and have come out 
from the world, and declared yourself on the Lord's 
side. 

" Your truly affectionate cousin, 

"Sarah Louisa." 

Those who have noticed the developement of her 
religious feelings, the acuteness of her sensibilities, 
and the cautious manner in which she was accus- 
tomed to proceed, will be interested in knowing how 
she v/as affected, when her obligation to observe the 
ordinances of the gospel, was exhibited to her view. 
Ever prone to distrust herself, she would not be likely 



74 MEMOIR OF 

to enter thoughtlessly, on the performance of sacred 
duty. The institutions of religion were, in her 
estimate, hallowed by too affecting associations, and 
established by too high authority, to be lightly re- 
garded. But in proportion to the earnestness, and 
sincerity, with which she yielded to the sway of 
holy principles, were the difficulties she felt in 
taking a decided stand on the Lord's side. When 
the subject was first proposed to her, by her pastor, 
she felt, that she was so liable to be deceived, that 
it would be most prudent to delay. Having called 
her attention to the various considerations by which 
the obligation is enforced, he said to her on taking 
leave, " The path of duty is the path of peace — it 
is plainly marked before you ; if you neglect duty, 
you must expect to walk in darkness." Left to her 
own reflections she was greatly distressed, and knew 
not to what cause to ascribe her feelings ; being 
often burdened with an oppressive load, and even 
tempted to relinquish all thoughts of holiness and 
heaven. Every thing appeared so dark within, that 
she feared it would be presumption, for her to enter 
into a covenant relation with God. While in this 
situation, at the time of morning prayer, her attention 
was fixed on a passage in Isaiah, " I will bring 
the blind by a way that they knew not, and I will 
lead them in paths, that they have not known ; — I 
will make darkness light before them, and crooked 



MRS. TAYLOR. 75 

things straight. — These things will I do unto them, 
and not forsake them." Striking as these words 
appeared, they relieved her only for a moment, when 
her distress recurred with increasing force. 

She devoted much time to the study of the Bible, 
with prayer for divine guidance, and had repeated 
conversations with her pastor, and other christian 
friends, "who had proved," she says, "by many 
month's patience, and perseverance with her, their 
tender regard for her eternal welfare." But much as 
she valued the advice of these friends, she was not 
unmindful of her individual accountability, to the 
Judge of quick and dead, for the conclusions at 
which she arrived, and the course she pursued. At 
one of the seasons appointed for an interview with 
her pastor, being disappointed of a visit by the 
inclemency of the weather, she thus writes, " De- 
prived of human consolation, I trust I was enabled 
to seek it, from a higher and surer source, and I 
sought it not in vain." The path of duty became so 
clear, that, on the next day, she presented a request 
that her name might be enrolled among the follow- 
ers of Christ. 



CHAPTER IV. 



Mrs. Taylor's baptism — Obligations of the christian covenant 
— Peculiar qualifications for instructing — Unwearied efforts — 
Increase of the circle of her friends — Delightful scenery — 
Importance of daily studying the Bible— Correspondence — 
Solicitude for the spiritual welfare of her relatives — Letter 
of consolation — Excursion up the Hudson — Religious enjoy- 
ment — Aged servant of God. 

On the 25th of April, Miss Foote was baptized, 
and on the same day received the emblems of a Sa- 
viour's dying love. Alluding to the occasion she 
says, " I knelt before the altar, and took upon me 
the baptismal vow. Before God, angels, and men, 
I professed my faith in Christ, and joined myself to 
him in a perpetual covenant, well ordered in all 
things and sure. I cannot describe my feelings, 
when that sacred ordinance was administered. It 
was to me a momentous and solemn hour. Most 
fervently do I pray that its transactions may ever be 
engraven on my mind, and influence every action of 
my future life." 

The writer could not pass lightly over this period 
of her history, without doing injustice to the motives 
by which she was influenced, and the responsible 



MRS. TAYLOR. 77 

nature of the obligations she assumed. Though 
every human being is sacredly bound to observe the 
commandments and ordinances of the Lord ; there 
is a feeling peculiarly solemn and afTecting, con- 
nected with the public acknowledgment of these 
obligations. The step is one of the most important 
that mortals can take, during their residence on 
earth. Their whole future character will be affected, 
by the feelings they then cherish. This will be a 
point in their existence, from which they will press 
forward with continually increasing light and know- 
ledge, or from which they will sink into apathy, 
and become cumberers of the ground. Entering 
into a new relation with God, receiving the seal of 
the everlasting covenant, and a pledge of unnum- 
bered blessings, they must, if they realize these 
things, deeply feel, that the pomp of a vain world, 
and the sinful desires of the flesh, must be re- 
nounced ; that holiness to the Lord must be inscribed 
on all their thoughts, words and actions. Have they 
entered the vineyard of Jehovah ? Shall they, can, 
they forget, whose they are? and whom they are 
bound to serve ? Redeemed by the precious blood of 
the Lamb of God, adopted into the christian family, 
will they not deem it their inestimable privilege to 
walk worthy of their high vocation? 

To Miss Foote these sentiments were familiar. 
They were associated with her holiest feelings, and 



78 MEMOIR OF 

seemed inwrought with all her plans and resolutions 
for the future. Her heart expanding with love to 
God, she sought to become an instrument of useful- 
ness to others. In uniting herself with the visible 
company of believers, she did not cherish the delu- 
sive opinion, that, thereby the great object of her 
existence was -accomplished. She believed that God 
had established a church in the world, for the glo- 
rious purpose of converting the world unto himself, 
and that all the members of the church were bound, 
in their respective spheres of action, to exert them- 
selves for the salvation of souls. Hence she enter- 
ed with renewed zeal upon every department of 
duty. 

On the first of May, she opened a school on her 
own responsibility, and devoted to it the best ener- 
gies of her mind, and the affections of her heart. 
The exercises of each day were commenced, and 
closed, with the reading of the Scriptures, and pray- 
er. Her course was that of a christian teacher, to 
whom interests of incalculable importance were 
entrusted. No individual was ever more fully pre- 
pared, for entire devotedness to the duties of her 
station. Other cares did not interfere, to divert her 
from this single absorbing employment. She loved 
to contemplate the immortal mind in . the incipient 
states of its developement, and to apply her plastic 
hand in training it for happiness here, and hereafter. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 79 

These humble efforts, often irksome to others, were 
her delight. She seemed to be watching some 
favorite plants, and was especially solicitous that 
they should take a right direction. It was her 
earnest endeavor to throw her soul into theirs, to 
enlist their feelings, direct their thoughts, expand 
their powers, and prepare them for the scenes in life, 
through which they must pass. By these means she 
secured and retained their affections, and diligently 
exerted herself, to make them whatever God had 
qualified them to become. That such unwearied 
and well directed efforts, were crowned with abund- 
ant success, none will be slow in believing. The 
impress of her character was indelibly fixed on 
many who enjoyed the benefit of her instructions. — 
Some of them completed their pilgrimage before her, 
and departed hence, rejoicing in the hope of a bless- 
ed immortality. These results however belong 
more appropriately to a later period of her life. 

This year, the circle of her friends was enlarged, 
and new intimacies formed, which had an important 
bearing on all her future movements. While her 
feelings were drawn out in affectionate regard, for 
all who bore the impress of her Saviour ; there were 
a chosen few, with whom, in a more especial manner, 
she held "sweet converse," and who possessed the 
power of touching the secret springs of her heart. 
Among this number there was one, who surrounded 
the same hallowed table, and who was "in Christ' 



80 MEMOIR OF 

before her, to whom, with more than ordinary free- 
dom, she unbosomed her feelings, and maintained 
for years, a frequent and pleasing correspondence. 
The following letter, the first of the series, was 
written during her absence from New York on a 
visit to her parents. 

"Saturday evening, 9 o'clock, Aug. 15, 1829. 

"My dear Catharine, 

" Since parting with you, I have passed up and 
down the North river, across the Sound, and am now 
sailing up the Connecticut. You have become so 
familiar with the scenery along the banks of the 
Hudson, that I presume it has lost its novelty. I 
cannot describe to you my feelings, when, for the 
first time, I gazed upon ' the Highlands ;' indeed I 
think the scenery for many miles grand and sublime, 
and calculated to inspire sentiments of awe and 
solemnity. — The banks of the Connecticut form a 
striking contrast. They do not rise to a great height 
above the surface of the river, but afford a rich and 
pleasing variety. Here may be seen a beautiful 
grove — there a hill covered with shrubbery, or 
waving grain — occasionally a lofty rock overspread 
with verdure, rising gradually, and then breaking off 
abruptly, with a rough perpendicular front — then a 
long flat of meadow, whose smooth velvet surface 
does not appear to have been trodden or disturbed 



MRS. TAYLOR. 81 

by man. — I was this afternoon gazing upon scenery 
such as I have attempted to describe, when on turn- 
ing a point, a pleasant little village was full in view 
before us. It was situated on the side of a gentle 
eminence. Two neat churches, with their 'heaven 
ascending spires,' adorned the summit; beyond this, 
rose a still higher hill, covered with trees of the 
darkest green, affording a rich back ground to the 
picture. — The sun was just setting behind a beauti- 
ful white cloud, by which it was soon entirely con- 
cealed ; and shortly, the floating clouds around were 
tinged with a thousand brilliant and ever varying 
hues. It was an enchanting scene, but, like every 
earthly delight, it quickly began to fade, and tint 
after tint disappeared, until all were gone ; and the 
consecrated hour of twilight approached. — Twilight 
gave place to the shades of evening, and I gazed 
upon the lengthened and indistinct shadows, think- 
ing earnestly of you % my dear C, and wishing you 
were by my side, until I became lost to all around 
me. — At that instant, the chiming of a church bell 
broke the silence, and aroused me from my reverie ; 
when suddenly turning round, I perceived that the 
full moon had risen, and was gleaming brightly upon 
the glassy surface of the lovely river. — Not a sound 
was now to be heard, save the rippling of the waves, 
as parted for a moment by the vessel, they met 
again. Once more I gazed, admired, and heartily 



82 MEMOIR OF 

wished you here, but knowing that this could not be, 
I resolved to begin a letter to you, and you have be- 
fore you the result. 

"And now, dear C, what further shall I add, ere 
I lay aside my pen and seek repose? Shall I tell 
you that I have sometimes looked through nature up 
to nature's God? — Oh! my friend, would that I had 
not to tell you, how frequently I am cold and un- 
moved. — The innumerable mercies which crown my 
every hour, excite so little gratitude ; and the good- 
ness and forbearance of God, so little love, that, 
when I reflect, I am lost in astonishment. — I have, 
I trust, been enabled to commit my way unto the 
Lord, believing, that he will be faithful to his pro- 
mise, and direct my steps. — This has given me peace 
and confidence. But oh! my unbelieving, distrust- 
ful heart. 

" Tuesday evening, 10 o'clock, Aug. 18 — 
"I have to-day, dear C, for a little time, been 
enabled to rise above the world, and to see its vani- 
ties in something of their true light. When blest 
with such feelings, I long to lay down this body of 
sin, and rise where I can see my Saviour as he is, 
and love him as I ought ; — but very soon I find my- 
self grovelling here below, pursuing some vain plan, 
or setting my affections too entirely upon some 
earthly object. Often when I scan the motives 
which influence my conduct, I find them such, that I 



MRS. TAYLOR. 83 

shrink from the investigation, and am unwilling to 
acknowledge even to myself, the deceit and depravity 
so deeply seated in this heart. 

* Oh could I find some peaceful bower, 
Where sin has neither place, nor power.' 

" Pray for me, my friend, that I may be faithful, 
and strengthened to wage a perpetual war with sin, 
until it is subdued, and my heart made a temple 
meet for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Pray 
that I may be taught when to speak, and what to 
say, to each of my very dear friends, that I may be 
watchful, circumspect, and consistent, and so live, 
that they may be convinced of the reality and sin- 
cerity of my professions. 

" Please tell my Sunday scholars that I have not 
forgotten them — but hope to see them soon. 

" Your ever affectionate friend, 

" Sarah Louisa." 

Miss Foote attached great importance to the daily 
study of the Word of God, and earnestly recom- 
mended the practice to all her acquaintance. After 
her return to New York, she wrote to a young friend, 
who, at her solicitation, had engaged to devote a 
portion of each day to this blessed employment. 

" Thursday, Sept. 3d. 
" Let us, my dear M., unitedly supplicate the 



84 



MEMOIR OF 



throne of grace, that our minds may be enlightened 
by the influences of the Holy Spirit, that we may 
understand the truths of the Bible, and practice them 
in our lives. The habit of reading the Scriptures, 
frequently, attentively, and prayerfully, has often, 
unaccompanied by any other religious instruction, 
been the means, not only of enlightening the mind, 
but of convincing the understanding, awakening the 
conscience, and bringing the once stubborn sinner, 
broken-hearted to the Saviour. I have only time to 
add, that we may, if we thus read r expect to receive 
lasting benefit, even a knowledge of the way of life 
and salvation. 

"With affectionate regard, 

" Your friend, Sarah . 

" Remember your promise." 

About this time, one of that "dear circle in Col- 
chester," accompanied her husband to his residence, 
in one of the Southern States. Before her depar- 
ture, she received the following token of the con- 
tinued sympathy and affection of her beloved friend. 

" Sept. 5. 
" Dear Margaretta, 

" I am extremely anxious to see you, that I may 
converse with you on a subject of great importance 
to us both, and yet, were that privilege granted us, 
it might, like many others, be misimproved, and we 



MRS. TAYLOR. 85 

instead of speaking and thinking of our soul's best 
interests, might be entirely engrossed with the 
vanities of the world, or what we might term the 
cares and realities of life. — I would gladly accom- 
pany you to your distant home, and sympathize with 
you as a friend and a sister. But it cannot be. — I 
need not tell you, that I think much of you, and 
earnestly pray that you may secure for yourself the 
blessing of Heaven. Make the Lord your refuge. 
Flee to Him ; for He is a friend that sticketh closer 
than a brother. Need I urge this upon you ? You 
know, you sometimes feel, your want of this unfail- 
ing friend. In your letter you say 'you desire, to 
feel willing to give up the unsatisfying, fleeting ob- 
jects of time.' — Dear M., religion requires no sacri- 
fice of true pleasure ; but it heightens every rational 
enjoyment. — Confess and forsake your sins ; receive 
Christ as your Saviour, and he will be forever yours. 
— If you really desire to have the support of the 
gospel, that hope, which will be a comfort to you in 
every trial of life, which will smooth the bed of 
death, and secure a crow r n of celestial glory ; seek 
the Lord with your whole heart, be encouraged by 
the promise, they who seek shall find. Prayer, fre- 
quent and earnest prayer, is the first step in the right 
path. You know that 'praying breath was never 
spent in vain.' Let not the ever ready tempter keep 
you from a throne of grace, by raising difficulties, or 



86 MEMOIR OF 

referring you to a more convenient season. Never 
will you be able to give yourself to God with less 
difficulty than at the present time ; and of another 
hour, how uncertain the possession. Cast not this 
aside, dear M., as too urgent, or as something out of 
place from a friend — from me. But pause in your 
present course, resolve that you will secure the sal- 
vation of your immortal soul, that from this hour you 
will begin the great work. If you seek assistance 
and strength, will you not find it 1 go then, and may 
the Holy Spirit be with you. 

" Your true friend, 

Sarah Louisa," 
The affectionate spirit of Miss F. and the breath- 
ings of her soul to God for the spiritual benefit of 
others, were never more apparent, than when her 
thoughts rested on her dear relatives. Her soul 
was then full to overflowing ; she felt that no sacri- 
fices would be too great for her to make, if thereby 
she might be permitted to welcome them to the fold 
of the Redeemer. Alluding to some of this number, 
bound to her heart by the strongest of earthly ties, 
she says, "When I look upon them, and see their 
kindness and affection continually manifested to- 
wards me, and think, that they are living without 
any well grounded evidence, that their peace is 
made with God, it gives rise to feelings, which can 
find no utterance. Could I indulge the joyful hope 



MRS. TAYLOR. 87 

that they were the friends of the Redeemer, I should 
be willing to be separated from them while on earth. 
What is earth, with all its changes and revolutions, 
compared to eternity 1 Does not the thought swell 
beyond expression ? And yet how prone we are to 
descend from such lofty thoughts and feelings, and 
mix with the world, and almost forget the existence 
of those amazing realities. Well may it be said that 
the christian race is a warfare. Dangers beset us 
on every side. We are not safe for a moment, with- 
out habitual watchfulness and fervent prayer." 

In a note to her cousin E. dated Sept. 12, she 
thus writes : " I have felt to-day at peace with my- 
self, with the world, and with Heaven. When I 
say at peace with myself, I do not mean satisfied, 
far from it: but when I feel that my heart is deceit- 
ful above all things and desperately wicked, and can 
go and acknowledge all, and cast myself unreservedly 
upon the Saviour's mercy, there is a peace that earth 
can never give. Dear E.,look to Jesus, contemplate 
the height and depth and breadth of his love ; think 
of his sufferings, the great sacrifice that he offered. 
It was for you and me, and all who will come and par- 
take freely of the salvation he alone can bestow. 
Can you withhold your heart ? Why will you not, 
forsaking every thing else, cast yourself upon him 
who died to save you ? I feel that if I could once 
more see you, I would never leave you until you 



88 MEMOIR OF 

could tell me, that you were indeed Christ's, and 
Christ yours forever. 

" I am entirely alone in my room. Here after 
the exercises of the day, I can sit and meditate 
undisturbed; and hold 'sweet converse' with my 
Saviour and my God. 

"Give love to all, and believe me your true 
friend, and affectionate cousin, 

" Sarah ." 

Miss Foote was susceptible to all the tender 
emotions inspired by friendship, and remarkably 
formed for the enjoyment of its holiest and purest 
pleasures. Entertaining a low opinion of her own 
attainments, she sought to make her intercourse with 
others, the means of advancement in the divine life. 
Her sentiments on this subject are alluded to in a 
letter to her intimate friend. 

"Wednesday noon, Sept. 23, 1829. 
" My dear Catharine, 

" I have so much to learn, and am such a babe 
in knowledge and practice, that I greatly feel the 
need of a friend, to whom I can unreservedly com- 
municate all my feelings and tell all my doubts, my 
hopes, my comforts. This friend I believe I have 
found in you. But when I think of our intimacy, 
the thought sometimes occurs, that we may not long 



MRS. TAYLOR. 89 

have this enjoyment. Be it so, I find consolation in 
reflecting, that our friendship will survive, even 'the 
wreck of nature and the crash of worlds.' Have we 
not one hope in the same Saviour ? Have we not 
the same heaven in view 1 May we not, as friends, 
and christian pilgrims, animate, and encourage each 
other, while passing through this vale of tears ? 
Even when we have sought guidance and direction 
from God, we may need the sympathy and confi- 
ding tenderness of friendship. 

" Yesterday, at our consecrated hour, I forgot all 
save the duty, or rather the enjoyment, before me. 
What a blessed privilege, to have a covenant God, 
to whom we may go at all times, and under all cir- 
cumstances, and make known our wants and difficul- 
ties, and freely confess our sins. Yet I sometimes 
feel a heaviness, an insensibility, which is truly dis- 
tressing. When shall I act under the constant in- 
fluence of the thought, that the eye of my Saviour, 
my judge, is upon me ?" 

In sympathy for the afflicted, Miss Foote has 
rarely been excelled. She could not hear of suffer- 
ing without desiring to administer relief. Even 
strangers elicited her feelings, and found in her a 
friend, who could point to the source of everlasting 
consolation. This trait in her character is happily 
exemplified, in a letter to a young lady, to whom she 
was personally unknown. 
8* 



90 MEMOIR OF 

" New York, Sept. 27. 
" My dear sister in Christ, 

" At the request of our dear friend Catharine, who 
has kindly favored me with a perusal of your letter, 
I take the liberty of addressing you. When this 
was first proposed to me, I felt a degree of reluct- 
ance, for I thought * we are stangers,' but the remem- 
brance, that we are one in Christ, (and, if we are 
indeed united to Him, we shall one day ' see eye to 
eye,' ' know as we are known,' and together join in 
an eternal song of praise to Him, who hath re- 
deemed us by his own precious blood, — the remem- 
brance of this,) induced me to waive formality, and 
ceremony, and comply at once with the wishes of 
her, whom I love to oblige. 

" From what she has related to me of yourself 
and family, and from the bereavement, of which you 
have given us an account in your letter, I feel a 
great degree of interest in regard to you already; — 
your peculiar affliction gives you a claim to my 
sympathy, I feel that I can mourn with you over 
your loss, and still more rejoice with you in the 
glorious hope of a happy immortality, with which 
your beloved sister left you. You may indeed feel 
it a very heavy stroke, for which you were unpre- 
pared, and though in this dispensation there may be 
to you darkness and mystery, and you can now only 



MRS. TAYLOR. 91 

in part, answer the enquiry of your aching heart, 
why, why is it so? by saying, the Lord hath done 
it, yet, may I not with confidence assure you, the 
time will come, when you will say, I am fully satis- 
fied, yes, when you will feel, that it was right and 
necessary 1 

" You have now much to console you ; — you have 
hope in her death ; and would you dear friend, 
would you recall her from her blissful sphere, to 
grovel again in this vale of tears, — again to struggle 
with sin, again to die ? Oh no, she is free forever, 
from all that can pain or distress, from all that can 
defile or pollute, and above all, she is forever free 
from all those doubts and despondencies, which so 
often cloud the mind, and obstruct the view of the 
pilgrim here ; — yes, she is gone to be forever with 
the Lord. 

" Though it hath not entered into the heart of man, 
to conceive the joys, which God has prepared for 
those who love Him ; how consoling it must be to 
the bereaved, to follow the departed spirit, to ' trace 
its wonderous way' until with the eye of faith, we 
behold it among the spirits of the just made perfect, 
and in possession of that crown of glory, which can 
never fade. — And oh ! the thought of meeting them 
there, — where sin and suffering, death and separa- 
tion, are unknown. 

"You remark, that we ought to pray, that our 



92 MEMOIR OF 

afflictions may be sanctified, rather than removed. 
Our reason shows us that trials are necessary, and 
the experience of the Christian teaches, that sancti- 
fied afflictions are indeed blessings. — Unsatisfactory 
as the pleasures of the world are, they are still too 
apt to engross our thoughts, and enchain our affec- 
tions. Even over those, who profess to be strangers 
and pilgrims ; how dangerous an ascendency do 
they frequently gain. — ' If with all the troubles of 
earth, we are in danger of being too much attached 
to it, how entirely would it enlist our affections, if 
no sorrows were mingled with its pleasures.' 

" But in the midst of afflictions, and under the 
most painful bereavements, we have many sources 
of unspeakable consolation. How seldom is any 
earthly tie broken, or any earthly delight removed, 
which does not cause us to rise more above the 
world, and to look more entirely to the only source 
of true enjoyment. How often is an aching void in 
the heart of a bereaved christian, filled by the bliss- 
ful presence of the Lord, by nearness of communion 
with Him. 

"The removal of friends to the abodes of glory, 
leads us more frequently to contemplate the happi- 
ness of the blessed, makes us more anxious to hold 
converse with the world unseen, and more recon- 
ciled to the thought of laying aside this earthly 
tabernacle, and entering upon the untried scenes of 



MRS. TAYLOR. 93 

a future state. How short, how uncertain, is time 
compared with eternity ! How do even three-score 
years and ten, dwindle into a moment — a mere 
point ! 

" The fading light of day compels me to close ; 
but not without giving you the assurance, that a 
letter from you will be peculiarly gratifying. — With 
the heartfelt desire, that we may daily live with our 
lamps trimmed and burning, and be ready to follow 
your departed Catharine ; that, though we may not 
meet on earth, we may meet in heaven, I subscribe 
myself your affectionate friend, 

Sarah Louisa Foote." 

The next letter from Miss Foote that has been 
preserved, exhibits her in a cheerful frame, partici- 
pating largely in the kindness of friends, grateful for 
the enjoyment they conferred, and desirous of act- 
ing with fidelity in the performance of every duty. 

" New York, Oct. 15, 1829. 
" My dear sister, 

" Notwithstanding the labor and confinement of 
my school, my health is unusually good. Truly my 
cup runneth over with blessings. May they lead me 
to live nearer to the unfailing fountain whence they 
all flow. But I have really feared, they, might prove 
a snare to me, and that while enjoying the gifts, I 
should forget the giver. I know that the goodness 
of God is designed to lead to repentance, but such 



94 MEMOIR OF 

is the depravity of the human heart, that the greatest 
displays of it, often appear to render individuals 
more insensible to the Divine Hand, and to encour- 
age them to grow bold in iniquity. 

" Last week, I accompanied my friend Catharine 
in a visit to her father's family, at New Windsor, 
about 7 miles from Newburg. When I sailed up 
the Hudson in August, every thing looked green 
and beautiful; now, nothing can exceed the variety 
of colors, from the pale yellow and green, to the 
deepest orange and scarlet. The lofty rugged rocks, 
the gentle hills, and the level shore, are alike cover- 
ed with beautifully variegated shrubbery. — I cannot 
tell you the feelings of delight, which a sail, of sixty 
miles through scenery like this, awakened, after 
having been, enclosed by brick walls. It gladdened 
my eyes to behold once more the face of nature. 
The day was lovely, and every object around seem- 
ed to smile. — When we look abroad upon the works 
of creation, and descend from the most noble and 
important, to the trembling leaf, if we can trace the 
hand of God, and feel, ' My Father made them all,' 
then it is, that we can be rationally happy. 

"I told you something of Miss S. when at home, 
since my return I have seen her frequently, and have 
become more closely attached to her. Do not 
tremble for me, lest i I have been forming a girlish 
intimacy, from which I expect much, but shall in the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 95 

end meet with bitter disappointment.' I trust that 
our friendship has for its basis christian love, ' our 
fears, our hopes, our aims are one, our comforts and 
our cares.' I do indeed love her dearly, and feel 
that I ought to be watchful and pray much, that this 
apparent blessing, may not be a snare to our souls. 
" As usual, she enjoyed with me whatever a kind 
Providence placed within our reach ; and with her, 
it was to me doubly pleasant. Her friends at New- 
burg, received us with the greatest cordiality, we 
dined there, and after strolling over the place, visit- 
ing the graveyard, &c, we left about 5 o'clock, with 
her father, (who came in town for us,) for Mount 
Airy. We rode through a beautiful valley, called 
' the Vale of Avoca,' stopped at sunset, took tea 
with a relative ; then performed the remainder of 
our ride, by clear moonlight, through a very roman- 
tic, and to me noiseless country, and reached the 
place of our destination about 10 o'clock. Cath- 
arine's grand parents are still living near her father's 
— they are on the verge of heaven. I have never 
before seen people, who lived religion as they do. I 
could always enjoy such a circle. Do not think, 
however, that new friends have effaced the recol- 
lection of nearer and dearer ones, from my mind and 
heart. This is not the case. I have very often 
thought of you, and all the family, and can hardly 
realize, that I have so recently seen you. 



96 MEMOIR OF 

" Pray for me dear sister, that I may be faithful, 
and as my school increases, that my diligence may 
also be increased. 

"Your affectionate sister. 

Sarah ." 

The few days which she passed at " Mount Airy," 
and its vicinity, were ever recurred to with grateful 
emotion. All know, how the full heart loves 
to vent itself. The recipient of new mercies feels 
a glow, such as earth cannot long sustain. It is at 
any time a delightful privilege, to be with a beloved 
friend. The value of the privilege will be enhanced, 
and the pleasure increased ; when permitted to 
accompany that friend to the dear home of her pa- 
rents, and to find every thing in unison with the 
state of our hearts. The subject of our narrative 
fully realized, and exquisitely enjoyed, all this hap- 
piness. She was in the midst of a circle that won 
every feeling of her heart. The time she spent 
there, seemed hardly to belong to the number of her 
earthly days. To her quick perception, and tender 
susceptibilities, the place itself seemed "a Paradise 
below." Ever alive to the beauties of nature, she 
seemed conversing with her God, when her eye 
rested on the works of his hands. 

The landscape presented much, on which she 
dwelt with pleasure. The horizon was skirted on 



MRS. TAYLOR. 97 

every side with mountains. The eastern bank of 
the Hudson, and the narrow pass through the High- 
lands, were distinctly seen. A large undulating 
valley, in a high state of cultivation, lay before her, 
— nor could she pass unnoticed, the retired cottage, 
the parental home of her friend. It seemed with its 
walls of stone, destined for the benefit of generations 
to come. " Nearly the whole of its front was cov- 
ered with rich vines. The jessamine, and straw- 
berry creeper mingled, and formed beautiful festoons, 
over either window, while a tall white rose had 
woven its way through them, almost to the roof." — 
But her recollections of the visit, chiefly pertained 
to the communings of heart with heart, on those en- 
nobling themes, from which the christian derives 
his highest joy. She thought of the aged servants 
of God, then bending beneath the weight of years, 
and expecting deliverance from this house of clay, 
and admission to the mansions of the blessed. The 
writer feels at liberty to allude to these eminently 
pious individuals, for they are already beyond the 
reach of human praise ; and surviving friends are 
cheered by the belief, that the temporary inmate of 
their family, who thought, that she " could always 
enjoy such a circle," now enjoys that very circle, in 
a condition of far greater purity, than earth has ever 
produced. 

For sixty years, the grandfather, to whom she al- 
9 



98 MEMOIR OF 

ludes, occupied the highest official station, that can 
be filled by a layman, in the church to which he be- 
longed. He was distinguished for the holiness, and 
consistency of his life, the value of his counsel, and 
his devotedness to the temporal and spiritual welfare 
of all around him. His family altar was hallowed 
by numerous affecting associations. It warmed 
other hearts than his own, into holy love, and cast a 
heavenly radiance over all the transactions of the 
day. None, who were privileged to unite with him, 
though but for a few times, in these services, could 
soon forget the impression they made. He had four 
children, who early dedicated themselves to the God 
of their father ; and, before his death, every grand- 
child, over the age of 12 years, had received the 
holy communion. In the decline of life there was 
one power of his soul, which retained all its wonted 
vigor, yes, increased in strength. This was strong 
confidence in God. When the depressed state of 
the church was unfolded to his view, his vigorous 
faith seemed to lay hold of the pillars of the Eternal 
Throne, and to hear the soft whispers of mercy, 
" She shall arise," or the cheering voice of the Sa- 
viour, "I have redeemed her to God through my 
blood." After the death of his beloved companion, 
which occurred less than a year before his own ; 
he fixed his thoughts on his heavenly home, and 
appeared continually to feel, that this was not his 



MRS. TAYLOR. 99 

abiding place. When enquired of respecting his 
health, he would answer; "Feeble, very feeble. I 
would not live alway." 

"Even yet," says the friend, to whom I am in- 
debted for these particulars, "as I contemplate the 
pleasant landscape, which ' Mount Airy' commands, 
as I stand on an elevation, presenting a view of the 
richly cultivated fields, surrounding the old farm 
house, in which this aged saint lived and died, I find 
myself unconsciously straining my eye, for the bent 
figure and feeble steps of him, who, if not the most 
prominent, was, at least, the most interesting object 
in the picture." 



CHAPTER V. 



Extracts from Mrs. Taylor's diary— Severe trial — Affectionate 
entreaty — Resolutions at the commencement of a new year 
— Teacher's meeting — A family in eternity — Notice of Mrs. 
Judson — Desire for a missionary life — Rev. Mr. Clark's 
Bible Class — Israelites entering into covenant with God — 
Ceasing of the manna — Sinful league with the Gibeonites. 

In a private memorandum, bearing date Oct. 25, 
1829, Miss Foote writes, " Six months ago this 
day, I publicly entered into covenant with God. 
During this time, how different has my course been 
from what I anticipated. How little do I find in my 
conduct, on which a God of infinite purity can look 
with approbation. But the thought, which grieves 
me most, is, that I have done so little, by my daily 
walk and conversation, to recommend the gospel of 
our Saviour. Why, if I have any title to the name 
of christian, am I so bound by the maxims of the 
world ? I fear my religion has more to do with the 
head, than the heart. Oh Lord, who knowest the 
secrets of my heart, teach me myself. Impress thy 
truth upon my mind, and help me to exercise, 
unfeigned trust in thee," 



MRS. TAYLOR. 101 

Having alluded to a previous acknowledgment of 
her deficiency in religious attainments ; she pro- 
ceeds, "In the stillness of this solemn hour, in the 
presence of the Searcher of hearts, I would ask my- 
self ; if I am a child of God, why is all this % God 
is unchangeable. The cause certainly exists in my 
own breast. May I not trace it to a neglect of duty; 
or to the want of a proper spirit in the performance 
of duty ? Of both I have been guilty ; and though I 
have ever maintained the form of prayer, I have 
often been destitute of its life giving, soul reviving 
spirit. If my heart was truly staid on God, should 
I not run with untiring zeal the christian race ? 
Should I not desire to follow Christ, through evil as 
well as through good report ? May I be enabled to 
relinquish every feeling, every thought, every pur- 
suit, which has a tendency to retard my progress in 
divine grace. Lord help me to walk by faith, renew- 
edly to give myself to thee, that I may henceforth 
live more to thine honor and glory." 

Not far from this time, she experienced a severe 
trial, in the removal of her devoted pastor. His 
labors had proved a blessing to her ; and she would 
have felt it a distinguished privilege to have contin- 
ued in the enjoyment of them. Her feelings on the 
occasion will best be described in her own lan- 
guage. 

9* 



102 MEMOIR OF 

"Sunday evening, Nov. 22, 10 o'clock. 
"My dear friend M. 

" Our beloved pastor has taken leave of us for the 
present, perhaps/orever. Circumstances require his 
presence in Edinburgh. His ministry among us 
closed this evening. You will believe me, when I 
tell you, that I deeply feel his loss. He is a very 
impressive, earnest, and faithful preacher. For this 
I highly esteem him. But you will more readily 
conceive my feelings in view of this separation, 
when I tell you; he has been to me a spiritual 
guide and father. Yes, under God, it is owing to his 
faithfulness, that your friend is as she tremblingly 
hopes, a humble believer in Jesus. From him I 
received warning and reproof, counsel and instruc- 
tion. He cleared away, to my apprehension, the 
mystery, in which the truths of revelation were 
shrouded, and light dawned upon my darkened 
understanding. His reward is in heaven. — He must 
leave us, but he will be associated with the most 
painful, as well as the most delightful, recollections. 
I have lately felt in view of his anticipated absence, 
that I have thought too much of the creature, and 
have not sought sufficiently to give the entire glory 
to Him, who makes use of mortals to bring about 
his own purposes of love and mercy. — I trust the 
removal of our earthly teacher, our shepherd, will 






MRS. TAYLOR. 103 

unite us more closely to the Almighty Bishop and 
Shepherd of our souls. Will not my dear M., pray 
that this may be the case, and that her friends, C. 
and S., may be driven from every earthly reliance, 
and build only upon the rock Christ Jesus." 

"Believe me, as ever, your affectionate friend, 

Sarah ." 

An extract from a letter to one of her sisters, will 
show the earnestness of her desire, that this sister 
might participate in the rich blessings of the gospel. 

"Dec. 24. 1829. 
" You probably sometimes think, my dear sister, 
that I have forgotten you, or at least have become 
indifferent to your welfare. But I can assure you 
that your temporal and eternal interests are near my 
heart. — Oh, that I could tell you, what I have felt, 
and still feel concerning you ! — When I think of the 
time, you thought and felt too, when you were 'almost 
persuaded' to become a christian ; and then revert 
to your present state of feeling, a kind of despond- 
ency fills my mind, and I have not faith to look for- 
ward, without fear, lest you will never again experi- 
ence the blessed influences of the Spirit of Truth, 
upon your heart and conscience. As iron which has 
been once heated and suffered to cool, becomes 
harder, so the heart of man, if once affected by a 



104 MEMOIR OF 

sense of sin, righteousness and judgment, and then 
swayed by opposite feelings, becomes more callous 
to every good impression ; and I am sure that this 
is in proportion to the means of light and knowledge 
enjoyed. 

" If I knew what other motive to urge, what new 
inducement to offer, I would gladly exert all my 
powers, all my influence ; — but what will it avail ? It 
may excite a momentary, transient feeling, which 
will be succeeded by hardened indifference. Alas, 
must this be the case 1 No. I will hope that you 
will once more listen not only to me, but to the voice 
of your own conscience, whose whispers, I trust, 
are not entirely silenced I will hope that you may 
be persuaded to awake out of your fearful lethargy, 
and arise and call upon the Lord to the salvation of 
your soul. 

"Jan. 2,1830. 

" One year ago, this evening, you were with me 
at Mrs. P.'s. It seems but as yesterday; yet how 
many, in that time, have seen sorrow and affliction; — 
how many have sunk in vice, disgrace, and misery ; — 
and how many might be named, who then were gay 
in health, and strong in youthful hope, who now are 
tenants of the silent grave ? Some there are, who 
then were enemies to God, opposed to his righteous 
government, and unwilling to yield him that submis- 
sion which he requires, who now are among the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 105 

professed followers of Jesus, and whose only regret 
is, that they so long delayed entering upon the path 
of duty, happiness, and safety, and that they live so 
far short of the requirements of the Lord. And there 
are some, who, within that time, have felt the worth 
of their immortal souls, have seen their danger, and 
1 resolved and re-resolved,' to know the joys of re- 
ligion ; and yet, can this new year testify that they 
have indeed entered into { the narrow gate V Oh, 
Jerusha, what a year to us has been the one which 
has now closed ! Its unnumbered and oft-abused 
blessings are fled forever — its precious privileges, 
too, can never be recalled ; — but its increased respon- 
sibilities, its renewed obligations, still rest upon us. 
May they be felt by us both, and may the close of 
the year, which has just commenced, find us acting 
from a sense of duty — -from a principle of love to 
God. If this be our condition, it will be comparatively 
of small moment, whether our days on earth are few 
or many. Give my best love to all our family and 

friends. 

" Your ever affectionate sister, 

Sarah Louisa." 

Her reflections at this period were peculiarly 
touching. The year that had just closed was asso- 
ciated, in her mind, with events of deep and thrilling 
interest. She had been to the holy altar, and, with 



106 MEMOIR OF 

a heart softened by divine grace, dedicated herself 
to the Lord. She felt that the hand of Jehovah was 
upon her, and that wherever she might go, or what- 
ever other connexions she might form, an indisso- 
luble tie bound her to the eternal throne. Yet she 
saw much in her own heart, that filled her with 
sorrow. " I once thought," she says, " if I had the 
hope of a christian, what would earth be to me ! It 
seemed so inconsistent for one whose hope, whose 
home, is heaven, to have heart or affection centered 
in any degree on a terrestrial object. My feelings 
are different, widely different, from what they for- 
merly were ; but I come so far short of the standard 
of the gospel, that I sometimes fear that I have never 
passed from death to life. 

" Grant me, O Lord, an abiding sense of thy love, 
and of the exceeding sinfulness of sin. Help me to 
begin this year with new resolutions, depending 
solely on thy grace to enable me to live according 
to them. Suffer me not to deceive myself, but im- 
part to me the aid of the Holy Spirit, to make thy 
image more apparent. I would humbly renew the 
dedication of myself to thee, praying that, should my 
life be prolonged another year, every grace may be in- 
creased and strengthened ; — that I may be more faith- 
ful in the performance of duty, holy in all manner of 
conversation, and instrumental, in doing good in the 
sphere where Providence has placed me. Guide 



MRS. TAYLOR. 107 

me, God ; direct, sustain, and bless me, for Jesus' 
sake. 

If Miss Foote had seasons of darkness and 
anxiety, she was not destitute of elevated enjoy- 
ment. If she knew, from sad experience, what is 
meant by the hiding of Jehovah's face, she also 
knew the preciousness of the light of his counte- 
nance. Her private journal furnishes satisfactory 
evidence on this subject, and also of the ardent desire 
of her soul to be entirely the Lord's, to labour in 
whatever part of his vineyard, he might prepare the 
way. 

"Feb. 21, 1830. 

" I would, in the presence of God, thankfully ac- 
knowledge the enjoyment I have had this evening 
in private devotion. The consecrated twilight hour 
has been a precious one ; — oh ! that the feelings, 
then excited within me, may never pass away. May 
they continue to fill my heart and influence me 
through life ! In all my intercourse with the world, 
I would have the fear of God before my eyes, that I 
may obtain from Him strength and grace, to walk 
worthy of my high vocation. I desire more steadi- 
ness of principle, more sobriety of conduct, more 
energy and decision. 

" I sometimes cherish the hope of being permitted 
to labor for God among the heathen. The requisite 
self-denial may appear less difficult, when the period 



108 MEMOIR OF 

for its exercise is remote. But unless I am deceived, 
no obstacle of this kind would deter me if the way 
was clearly opened. True, my heart is treacherous, 
and my most fervent feelings are an unsafe criterion. 
Can a person, so prone to consult ease in daily and 
common duties, so little accustomed to sorrows or 
crosses, to perils or sacrifices, be qualified to engage 
in such a cause, or to assume such responsibilities ? 

" But I would leave this, with every other con- 
cern, where alone it can be committed with safety ; 
believing that if my Heavenly Father should conde- 
scend to honor me as an instrument in His hands, 
for doing good to others, he will make plain the 
course of duty, and impart all needed grace. 

" To-morrow is appointed for the monthly meeting 
of our Sunday School teachers. I shall have to 
perform the duties of superintendent. My age and 
inexperience render me incompetent to the task, and 
yet our school is so situated, that I know not how to 
decline. O Thou, who hast often taken the weak 
things of the world to accomplish thy purposes, be 
pleased to make use of me to promote thy cause. 
Thou knowest what we all need. Oh ! grant us a 
sense of our wants, and do Thou supply them 
through Christ our Lord. 

" I have, the past week, stood by the bed of death, 
and witnessed the undying spirit struggling to be 
free, — free from this earthly tabernacle, and to soar 






MRS. TAYLOR. 109 

to regions of eternal light. Death and eternity were 
brought near to me — I could not but ask myself, — 
Am I prepared to die ? Oh ! that I may live more 
in the exercise of a vigorous faith — more in view of 
the solemn realities of a future state." 

Another affecting instance of the movement of an 
unseen Hand, is referred to in a letter to her friend, 
Miss B. 

" New-York, March 16, 1830. 

" How has my friend M. passed the long winter ? 
— amidst friends and social comforts, and above all 
in the enjoyment of that favor which is life, and that 
loving kindness, which is better than life ? No doubt 
you have often, with an aching heart, looked at the 
seat, so lately filled by her, who was dear to you, 
and have increased the bitterness of your feelings, 
by the thought of the grave ; — but there you have not 
rested, — following the departed spirit to the skies, 
meditating upon the change in feeling, and employ- 
ment — the enlarged capacity for happiness — the 
entire change from mortal to immortality, you have 
almost ' longed to go.' — After pursuing contempla- 
tions like these, how trivial do the mightest concerns 
of earth appear ! how puerile its most important pro- 
jects ! — and yet how soon these high and holy feel- 
ings are disturbed by ' earth-born schemes,' by world" 
ly cares, and we again ' cleave to the dust!* 
10 



110 MEMOIR OF 

" I have been much struck with the dealings of 
Providence towards the family of a clergyman of 
this city. One year since he was in the midst of 
domestic enjoyment. A wife and two children com- 
posed his family. The children were first called by 
death — then the wife, — while the husband was 
spared, apparently for extensive usefulness. But He 
who cannot err had otherwise determined. Last 
Sunday morning, after an illness of three days, at 
the age of 27, he closed his earthly labors. How 
mysterious the dispensations of the Almighty! — 
Hereafter their design will fully appear. 

" In extreme haste, your affectionate friend, 

Sarah." 

In writing to her sister, she again alludes to a 
missionary life, and dwells with delightful interest 
on the suggested thought. 

" New-York, March 26, 1830. 

" Friday, P. M. 5 o'clock. I have completed the 
labors of another week, and have resolved to devote 
the remainder of the day in answering my dear sis- 
ter's letter, which I received on Wednesday, and 
which I hardly need add was truly welcome. 

" All without is dreary, dark, and stormy, but 
within there is peace. Surely that heart must be 
cold and insensible, which cannot, and which does 
not, rise in gratitude to Him who kindly bestows so 
many mercies. 



MRS. TAYLOR. Ill 

" Few things have interested me more, the past 
winter, than the ' Memoir of Mrs. Judson.' I trust 
the perusal of it has been profitable. Never before 
was I so sensible of the real condition of the hea- 
then. It seems to me that I could calmly, yes, joy- 
fully, leave home and all its endearments, and spend 
my days amongst them, should the Lord in His 
providence prepare the way. You may think that I 
suppose the missionary life, one of ease, unattended 
with perils or sacrifices. It is impossible to read 
the work, to which I have referred, and retain such 
an impression. The sufferings of Mrs. J. were se- 
vere. Perhaps no other missionary in modern times, 
has endured such a complication of trials and afflic- 
tions. If she had not possessed a large share of 
fortitude, perseverance, and submission to the will 
of Heaven ; she must have yielded to the oppressive 
weight of her sufferings. What an example to the 
follower of Christ ! Though he may not be required 
to visit distant countries, he may in his proper 
sphere, evince the same spirit, and essentially aid in 
extending the influence of the blessed Gospel. 

" Wherever we go, may we enjoy the presence of 
that friend who sticketh closer than a brother, and 
when our wanderings are over, may He be our por- 
tion forever. 

11 Your affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 



112 MEMOIR OF 

In the early part of this year, she joined the Bible 
Class, under the care of Rev. John A. Clark, at that 
time Assistant Minister of Christ Church in this city. 
The members of the Class were required to present 
written answers, to the questions assigned to them. 
The hours Miss Foote spent in preparation, were 
taken from those usually allotted to sleep. She trans- 
cribed a copy of these exercises for her own use. Dur- 
ing a single year they filled a large volume . That she 
should have accomplished so much, will appear sur- 
prising, when we consider the exhausting nature of 
her daily duties. She had the sole charge of more 
than forty pupils. In the letter from which the last 
extract was taken, she says, " I leave home at 8 
o'clock in the morning, have an intermission of half 
an hour at noon, and frequently continue with the 
scholars until dark. This has been my general 
course through the winter." 

It was no unusual circumstance, for Thursday 
evening, to be the only one during the week, in which 
she had not some stated religious engagement. 
Her duties on Sunday, she informs her sister, were 
if possible still more arduous. " I often spend an 
hour, traversing the streets for scholars, officiate as 
Superintendent in the school, and sit with the 
scholars during public worship. — Yesterday, on my 
return from the evening service, I really felt, that 
there is such a thing as being ' religiously dissipated,' 



MRS. TAYLOR. 113 

and that too, to the great injury of one's spiritual en- 
joyment and advancement." 

Much to the regret of the friends of Miss Foote, 
the manuscript volume, containing her exercises at 
the Bible Class, is we fear irrecoverably lost. A few- 
leaves, on which she made the first draught of seve- 
ral of them, are all that are known to be preserved. 
They will be inserted in the order of their respec- 
tive dates. 

" Deut. Chap. 29. 

" Who are represented as entering into covenant 
with God in this chapter? 

" For a direct answer to this question we need 
only refer to verses 10, 11, 14, and 15, where we 
read, ' Ye stand this day all of you before the Lord 
your God ; your captains of your tribes, your elders 
and your officers, with all the men of Israel ; your 
little ones, your wives, and thy stranger that is in thy 
camp, from the hewer of thy wood unto the drawer of 
thy water. Neither with you only do I make this oath 
and this covenant, but with him that standeth here 
with us this day before the Lord our God, and also 
with him that is not here with us this day.' 

" From this we learn, that none were too high in 
office, or too great in power, to enter into this cove- 
nant ; neither were any too humble or too mean to be 
admitted. Their little ones were included to teach 

us, that children can enter into covenant with God, 
10* 



114 MEMOIR OF 

or rather that they may be made the subjects of a 
covenant ; bound to obey it, and entitled to its bles- 
sings. 

" The ' stranger' is mentioned, referring probably 
to such of the idolatrous nations through which the 
twelve tribes had passed, who might have been in- 
fluenced by the wonderful manifestations of Israel's 
God, to join his people and become interested in the 
engagements, by which they were bound to the 
1 King of kings and Lord of lords.' ' Neither with 
you only do I make this covenant, and this oath, nor 
with those only who stand here this day, but with 
those who are not here,' those who were unavoida- 
bly prevented from meeting with them ; and may we 
not suppose that future generations were also in- 
cluded % 6 To thee and thy seed after thee,' is the 
promise given. The Israelites did not enter into 
covenant with a being like themselves, but the un- 
changeable Jehovah, 'the same yesterday, to-day, 
and forever.' 

" If we consider this as a type of the covenant of 
grace, it will naturally suggest to the reflecting 
mind, many profitable inferences and conclusions. 
We are led to contemplate the goodness of Him, ' who 
is no respecter of persons,' who 'died for the chief 
of sinners,' and still declares, ' whosoever will, let 
him come and take of the water of life freely.' 
"When we contrast the prosperity, opulence, and 



MRS. TAYLOR. 115 

splendor of some, with the poverty and wretched- 
ness of others of our fellow creatures, how vastly 
does one rise above the other in our estimation ! 
Yet what are these things in the sight of Him, who 
looks upon the heart, and stoops to dwell with all 
who are of a contrite spirit ? He has said, ' not 
many noble, not many wise, or mighty are called ;' 
but he has ■ chosen the poor of this world, rich in 
faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath pro- 
mised to them that love him. 7 Whosoever worketh 
righteousness, whether the Israelite, or the Gentile 
stranger, is accepted by him. The innumerable 
multitude who stand before the throne, will be of all 
nations, and kindred, and tongues, and people. 

" Christian parents find here recorded that, which 
may lead them to dedicate their offspring to him, 
who is a faithful covenant keeping God, who remem- 
bers mercy from fathers to children, towards those 
' who love him and keep his commandments.' And 
have not those who have joined themselves to 
the Lord 'in a perpetual covenant, well ordered 
in all things and sure,' unspeakable reason to 
rejoice, and adore the height and depth, the length 
and breadth, of the riches of divine grace ? Is it not 
strange that we can ever be forgetful of our covenant 
engagements ; — that we do not bind them with the 
law of God upon our hearts, engrave them upon our 
minds, and live continually in view of them ? 



116 MEMOIR OF 

" When these considerations have a proper weight 
with us, things unseen and eternal rise to our view 
by faith, and things seen and temporal sink into their 
real nothingness. Oh, how false then appears 
earth's most alluring vanities, — how empty her high- 
est honors, how trivial her most important concerns ! 
But ah ! the next hour is likely to find us busily 
engaged, pursuing after them with the same eager- 
ness, as though our hopes of happiness centered 
exclusively here. Well may we lament our incon- 
sistency. But we have consolation in the promise, 
that though we may forget, our Heavenly Father 
will remember, and though we wander, he will not 
utterly withdraw his loving kindness, or suffer his 
faithfulness to fail. 

" If such is the state of those who * have hope 
through grace,' what must be the case of those who 
stand afar off, and refuse to take upon them that 
* yoke which is easy, and that burden which is 
light?' To such, can only be said, come and enter* 
into covenant with your Creator, Preserver, and 
Redeemer, while it is ' an accepted time and a day 
of salvation, and ye shall find rest to your souls.' 
Come, for he hath never said to any of the seed of 
Jacob, ' Seek ye me in vain.' 
May 11, 1830." 

Her desire was so ardent for the salvation of her 



MRS. TAYLOR. 117 

friends, that it seemed as if she could never cease 
pleading with them to be reconciled to God. In all 
her letters she endeavors to seize upon some circum- 
stance, by which a salutary impression may be made 
upon their minds. Though she had often written to 
her youngest sister on this subject, yet her efforts 
were not relinquished, when appearances were the 
most discouraging. 

"June 1, 1830. 
" My dear sister, 

" What shall I tell you for your comfort 1 You 
say you are lonely. Oh, that I could hope your 
hours of solitude are spent with Him * who seeth in 
secret !' — that I could point out to you in an effectual 
manner, the precious promises which are made to all 
who believe ! You say nothing by which I can 
judge of the present state of your feelings upon the 
one all important subject. For what purpose, Jeru- 
sha, do you live ? Have you ever asked yourself 
this question £ not in gloomy despair, but to 
learn what is the end of your being 1 Do you reflect 
seriously, and judge yourself impartially 1 Or is re- 
flection irksome, and when such thoughts and inter- 
rogatories cross your mind, do you banish them ; — * 
and have recourse to something which conscience 
condemns ? 

" Oh, my dear sister, the course of the christian 



118 MEMOIR OF 

may well be called ' a warfare.' He has often to 
exclaim, when ' I would do good, evil is present 
with me?' Yet he can look to an Almighty- 
Saviour for strength, and can say with humble 
confidence in God, ' I shall come off more than 
conqueror.' The conflict is indeed so fierce at 
times, that he is almost overcome. But is it to be 
compared to the incessant strivings against an 
alarmed and upbraiding conscience 1 A mind 
once awakened, as yours has been, cannot soon be 
lost to all sense of duty ; — no, even though it strives 
to have no regard for God, and casts off fear, and 
restrains prayer, — yet all will not answer. A thorn 
is implanted in the breast, which will pierce through 
with many sorrows. Who can doubt the solemn 
and awful declaration of God 1 ' My spirit shall 
not always strive with man.' Does not the thought 
of this make you tremble % May it lead you to cry 
unto the Lord, and beseech him to continue the aid 
of his Holy Spirit, and never leave you, until you 
are his own penitent and submissive child. 
" Your affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 

When she was engaged in perusing the sacred 
volume, delightful trains of reflection presented 
themselves to her mind. She saw, and admired the 
hand of God in his dealings with his chosen people 



MRS. TAYLOR. 119 

in ancient times, and glanced from thence to the 
support, which in every age, he grants to those 
who are devoted to his service. She loved to con- 
template him, as the eternal source of spiritual 
nourishment, and to derive from every portion of his 
word, incentives to draw near to the throne of grace. 
These remarks are happily illustrated in the answers 
she prepared to the questions given her in the Bible 
Class. They show the use she was accustomed to 
make of divine truth, and the influence she wished it 
to exert on her heart. The incident to which the 
following question alludes, is recorded in the fifth 
chapter of Joshua. 

" On what occasion did the manna cease % 
" After passing over Jordan, the children of 
Israel encamped in Gilgal, and kept the passover on 
the 14th of the month, at even, in the plains of 
Jericho ; and they did eat of the old corn of the land 
on the morrow after the passover, unleavened bread 
and parched corn in the self same day. And the 
manna ceased on the morrow, neither had they 
manna any more, but they did eat of the fruit of the 
land of Canaan that year. 

" We learn from Exodus 16th, that the Israelites 
had journeyed one month, before they were fed with 
manna, and from the time it was first given them, 
until the expiration of the forty years, they received 
daily supplies. 



120 MEMOIR OF 

" How full of instruction is this one providence of 
God ! How practical the lesson it affords ! The 
Israel of God are wandering in ' a dry and desert 
land/ a wilderness which yields them no supply! 
and are they not daily fed with spiritual food ? If 
not, it is because they neglect to seek and gather it ; 
for he who is from everlasting to everlasting, the 
unchangeable Jehovah, is as ready to bestow upon 
us all the needed blessings, which we ask of him, as 
he was to grant ' angel's food' to the rebellious and 
ungrateful Israelites. During their wanderings this 
was their sustenance ; and so will the influence of 
his grace, if Ave desire it, be our support through our 
journey, our comfort under trials, our light in dark- 
ness, and above all, our strength to sustain us in the 
conflict, with the combined powers of the world, the 
flesh, and the devil, 

" When in our closets we have near access to the 
throne of grace through our glorious Mediator, — 
when in the sanctuary we can exclaim, this is to me 
the house of God, and the very gate of heaven, — 
when in times of earthly distress, or peculiarly 
afflictive bereavements, we can, with the eye of 
faith, see the hand of God in every dispensation, — 
when we can, at such times, say it is the Lord, let 
him do as seemeth to him good — though he slay me, 
yet will I trust in him ;— do we not then receive the 
hidden manna, the comforts of the spirit ? Oh, why. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 121 

when we can have this spiritual meat, why should 
we ever prefer feeding on the husks of earthly vani- 
ties ? When we receive nourishment from ' the 
bread that cometh down from heaven,' like the dis- 
ciples, we are inclined to cry, 'Lord, evermore give 
us this bread.' But how soon do we loathe it, as did 
the Israelites the manna, and as they asked for 
meat, so do we rashly ask for that, which, if granted, 
brings a curse with it. We provoke the Most 
High by our sins, yet he exercises forbearance, re- 
stores us from our wanderings, 'forgives us graciously 
and loves us freely.' Each instance of this, brings 
us under new and more binding obligations to live 
near to God, to use more diligently the means which 
he has provided for our strength and comfort, — 
means which he has engaged to grant us ' all our 
journey through.' 

" After the Israelites entered the promised land, 
and commemorated their deliverance from bondage 
by celebrating the passover, and ate of the corn of 
the land, which was soon to be theirs for a posses- 
sion, the manna ceased, neither did it any more de- 
scend. Though the food they had so long eaten,was 
not to be complained of nor despised, yet that which 
they now partook, must have been truly grateful to 
their taste, and they must, (it would seem) have 
thankfully enjoyed this gift, as a proof that greater 
good was yet in store for them. 
11 



122 MEMOIR OF 

" May we not expect that the support, which 
our Heavenly Father grants us through prayer, his 
holy word, and the ordinances of the sanctuary, will 
in like manner be continued to us, until we cross the 
Jordan of death, enter the promised rest, and with 
' the patriarchs, prophets, and apostles,' commemo- 
rate our redemption from sin, and celebrate the 
marriage supper of the Lamb in the New Jerusalem ? 
While in this vale of tears, we ' see through a glass 
darkly, and know only in part,' but there ' we shall 
see God as he is, and know even as we are known.' 
How changed, how wonderfully changed must be 
our natures and capacities, before we can participate 
in, and enjoy, such scenes ! Here by continual 
prayer and watchfulness, we may go on from grace 
to grace, in the hope that grace will soon be per- 
fected in glory ; — but there, what continual pro- 
gression shall we make in knowledge and enjoy- 
ment ! In the language of inspiration, ' eye hath not 
seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the 
heart of man to conceive, the joys which God has 
prepared for those that love him.' 

" Let us then strive manfully for the prize of our 
high calling ; let us be mindful of the recompense of 
reward in store for the faithful, and count all things 
but loss, that we may win Christ, and be found in 
him, having full confidence in the declaration, that 
c we shall come off conquerors, and more than con- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 123 

querors, through him, who loved us, and gave himself 
a ransom for us, to whom be glory forever. ' 
"June, 10, 1830." 

" Joshua, 9th Chapter. 

" What was the sin of the Israelites, in entering 
into a league with the Gibeonites ? 

"When the Gibeonites appeared at the camp, we 
find the Israelites listening to their story; and, 
[though hesitatingly,) giving credit to it, and entering 
into covenant with them ; — but their ' great sin' was 
that s they asked not counsel at the mouth of the 
Lord.' The first sensations excited by this account, 
are those of surprise at their insensibility ; — especially 
when we remember that Eleazer had been expressly 
appointed by God, as his mouth to the people, and to 
enquire at all times his will concerning them. 

" The consequences that attended their omission 
of duty, lead us to reflect on the unspeakable privi- 
lege of being permitted to seek direction from on 
high. With only our own benighted minds, our 
own perverse dispositions, to guide us, where, where, 
would our course tend? Deified reason has not 
power to control and restrain us, even under ordinary 
circumstances ; much less can she give direction in 
times of difficulty and danger, or impart comfort in 
seasons of gloom and distress. 'Tis only the hope 
of the Christian, which can support and animate to 



124 MEMOIR OF 

exertion, in scenes where unassisted human fortitude 
would entirely fail. Never is the value of this hope 
more felt, than when, in seasons of darkness and 
uncertainty, we can ask and obtain counsel of the 
Lord ; or when every earthly refuge and solace fail, 
we seek, and gain, rich and precious consolation. 
Well may we exclaim, 

1 Who, who that knows the worth of prayer, 
But wishes to be often there.' 

" In this incident, recorded of Israel, it would 
seem they entirely neglected this duty ; — and do not 
many who profess godliness, enter in a manner 
equally unguarded, into league with those who are 
the enemies of God, and not subject to His law? — 
Do not many real Christians, so far depart from the 
path of duty, as to compromise, if not to confederate, 
and covenant, with the world? — Never, never, are 
our eternal interests more in jeopardy, than when 
we are inclined to act in this manner. There is no 
concord between Christ and Belial, no fellowship 
between light and darkness, — and he who has once 
drank at the fountain of living waters, can neither 
slake his thirst, nor receive nourishment from the 
mixed and polluted streams, of mere earthly enjoy- 
ment. Should they like the Gibeonites, present 
themselves under a deceptive form, and strongly 
allure us, then is our time to flee, lest they ensnare 



MRS. TAYLOR. 125 

us ; — to flee and ask counsel and help of Him who 
is mighty to save. 

" How often do we pretend to seek direction from 
God, and yet act exactly as our own minds inclined 
us before we consulted him, just as we sometimes 
ask the opinion of a friend upon a subject, concerning 
which we are already fully determined. While pil- 
grims and sojourners here, there is no enjoyment 
equal to that we receive, when we can divest our- 
selves of worldly cares ; or if we are burdened with 
these, when we can lay them and ourselves before 
the footstool of sovereign mercy, — and humbly en- 
ter into the presence chamber of the Lord, and hold 
converse with the ' Father of Spirits.' — When are 
our anticipations of heavenly and eternal felicity, 
more bright and strong than at such seasons ? — And 
there is a peace which passeth understanding, a 
peace to which the world are indeed strangers, in 
lying low, abased before God ; and in the place thus 
rendered solemn, yea awful, by his presence, to con- 
fess and deplore our most secret sins. 

" The more knowledge a person has of his own 
heart, the more he realizes the extent of its deceitful- 
ness ; the longer he travels in the narrow path, the 
more sensible he is of his own entire helplessness ; 
and the more frequently and earnestly he seeks coun- 
sel and direction from Him, who has said he will 
11* 



126 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAYLOR. 

perfect his strength in the weakness of mortals, the 
more will he feel that ' only while he prays he lives.' 
In the language of Montgomery, 

* Prayer is the Christian's vital breath, 

The Christian's native air ; 
The watchword at the gates of death — 

He enters Heaven with prayer.' 

"July 2, 1830." 









CHAPTER VI. 



Painful sundering of ties — Visit to Say brook — Beautiful land- 
scape — Conversation with an unbeliever — Value of christian 
society — Sense of responsibility — Comparison between Ath- 
ens and New-York — Fidelity in impressing divine truth upon 
her scholars — Memoirs of Mrs. Huntington — Spiritual con- 
flicts — Increased endeavors after holiness. 

The Rev. Mr. Fraser having returned from 
Scotland, resumed the pastoral care of the ' Taber- 
nacle.' The joy of Miss Foote on the occasion was 
soon changed to sorrow. On the last Sunday in Ju- 
ly, he took a final leave, and she was compelled to 
witness the dissolution of the Church and Sunday 
School, with which she had been connected. 

Writing to her friend, under the date of Aug. 1, 
she says, " Our little ' Tabernacle' no longer exists 
as a Church, yes, that tie is broken — need I add, the 
thought of it almost broke my heart. Our Sunday 
School, too, is dispersed. Oh ! had you seen the dear 
children, you would have felt too. I knew not the in- 
tention of Mr. F. until he stated at the close of his sub- 
ject, 'This is probably the last time I shall ever ad- 
dress you from this sacred desk.' He then referred 



128 MEMOIR OF 

to providential circumstances, that would induce 
him to pass the remainder of his days in his native 
land. — He spoke of the few, who, he could humbly 
hope, were the fruits of his ministry here. He re- 
minded such of the circumstances, attending their 
conversion, and public dedication to God ; and 
pointed to the spot, where, in the * presence of God, 
angels, and men,' they entered into a perpetual cove- 
nant. He urged them by these sacred recollections, 
to walk ever mindful of their high vocation. How 
my mind rested on these things as he referred to 
them ! Well did I recollect the time, the place, — 
I stood and vowed, — I knelt, and water from the bap- 
tismal font was poured upon me — the names of Fa- 
ther, Son, and Holy Ghost were uttered in a voice I 
can never forget. 

" The children were requested to stop after ser- 
vice. Mr. F. addressed them in an affecting manner 
and retired. — We were taken so much by surprise, 
that it was with difficulty we could suppress our 
feelings, or give such directions to the scholars as 
seemed necessary." 

To these sources of anxiety, was added the re- 
moval of her friend C* to an adjoining state. Al- 
luding to this in the letter from which our last ex- 
tract was taken, she asks, " Can it be ? where are 
our plans, our anticipated pleasures, our uninterrupt- 

* She opened a school at Paterson, N. J. 






MRS. TAYLOR. 129 

ed intercourse ? ' Truly man sees not through the 
thin partition of an hour.' 

" Monday, A. M., 7 o'clock. The morning has at 
length come, when my dear C. is to assume new du- 
ties and new responsibilities. It is a lovely, delight- 
ful morning. I have prayed, and will pray, that your 
strength fail not, or rather, that strength may be 
given you for the performance of every duty. Tell 
me, in your next, how you succeed. — I closed school 
on Friday, and intend leaving on Wednesday after- 
noon for Say brook. Should it be fair weather, I 
shall have a delightful sail. Think of me as you 
gaze on Luna. Think of me as you plead at twi- 
light" 

The manner in which her time was employed, 
during the vacation, may be gathered from the fol- 
lowing letters : 

"Saybrook, Aug. 6, 1830. 
" Well, my dear Catharine, my plans and expecta- 
tions are so far realized, that I have left the city, the 
bustling, noisy city, and, as you will see by the date 
of this, am in the land of steady habits. Imagine 
me in a very ancient house, the first built in the 
place — (you recollect the commencement and pro- 
gress of this settlement — the object of its name, &c.) 
— imagine me in this antique place — in a room so 
spacious and hollow, as to remind me of some de- 



130 MEMOIR OF 

serted castle. The sun is shining with all its morn- 
ing brightness. But the scene from the windows, 
between which I am sitting, I cannot attempt to de- 
scribe — I will only tell you some of the features in 
this widely extended, variegated, and to me beautiful 
landscape. 

" In the front of the house, which is situated in 
that part of the town called the ' Point? the river 
widens sufficiently to form a bay. — The opposite 
shore is level for a short distance, and then one lit- 
tle hill rises after another, some covered with shrub- 
bery, and others presenting a smooth velvet surface, 
without a single bush. Then, a more lofty emi- 
nence, consisting apparently of rocks, but covered 
with brown and yellow moss, so as to form a good 
contrast with the surrounding scenery. — If I turn 
my eye on the other side, I see a narrow stream 
whose surface, smooth as glass, reflects the rays of 
the sun with an almost dazzling splendor. Beyond 
this, is a meadow of yellow green ; — and farther still, 
hills and valleys, smooth surfaces, and dark green 
foliage, follow each other in rapid succession, until 
the view is bounded by the distant horizon. 

" My aunt's family met me with open arms, and 
a hearty welcome. They say now they have me 
here, they shall use their power over me, as long as 
they please. I am disposed to stay a week or ten 



MRS. TAYLOR. 131 

days, and hope to get that rest, refreshment, and 
strength, I so much need. 

11 All the objects around, remind me continually 
that ' God is near.' I have found a throne of grace 
accessible, and plead, with some degree of faith and 
earnestness, for the special object of our prayers, our 
dear friend H. When I thought of his situation, of 
the prospect of death without hope in Christ, I was 
enabled to commend him to God, and beg that he 
would hear the prayers, that were offered in his be- 
half. 

" Yours as ever, Sarah L ." 

" Chatham, Ct. Aug. 13, 1830. 
"My dear C. 

I left Saybrook yesterday morning and met H. on 
board the boat. His health evidently requires a 
change of air. But his spiritual state is like Egyp- 
tian darkness. Yesterday, I felt bold to speak, 
though not in my own strength, and told him, I 
had often thought of him, since leaving N. Y., and as 
often felt, that if he only had hope in Christ, I 
should have no further wish concerning his health. 
Though life and health were desirable, yet his eter- 
nal interests rose in my estimation beyond every 
thing else. — He was solemn and attentive ; I pro- 
ceeded, ' How do death and eternity appear to you?' 
* All is darkness and uncertainty,' was his reply. 



132 MEMOIR OF 

After further conversation, I enquired, * do you not 
believe that you, and every created being, are de- 
pendent, for the continuation of life, on the Great 
First Cause of all things V ' No, I do not believe 
it, if I did, I should act differently ; yes, my whole 
belief would be very different from what it now is.' 
{ How does this grass grow?' said I. He was silent. 
I was full to overflowing, and could only exclaim, 
' God of mercy, give him light.' 

"After an interval of silence, I said, ' it would 
seem that our love of self would lead us to seek an 
increase of our happiness here, by securing the con- 
solations of religion, which the gospel of Jesus only 
can bestow. You know nothing of the comfort of 
having a God for a refuge, — a throne of grace to 
flee to in trouble, where every feeling and desire 
may be spread without reserve, and in full assurance 
that the Lord will graciously hear your petitions.' 
* No, I know nothing like it.' — I added, ' Even if 

existence ends with this life, and all beyond is 

Oh ! it is not so — it is real ; religion brings clearly to 
view, life and immortality beyond the grave, — it is 
built on the rock of ages, — it will never fail.' * I 
cannot see it so,' he said. * Did you ever ask that 
you might V ' No, not with a right disposition.' ' Ask 
and you shall receive, — seek and you shall find.' 
4 1 do hope, Sarah,' said he, ' that I shall yet be 



MRS. TAYLOR. 133 

brought to see and feel all this — if I am not right 

now.'' 

4 If I am right, thy grace impart, 

Still in the right to stay ; 

If I am wrong, oh, teach my heart 

To find the better way,' 

" May that God, whom we profess to love, and 
who has the hearts of all in his hands, turn him from 
the error, the gross darkness of his ways, shed the 
light of the Sun of righteousness upon his mind, and 
lead him in the way everlasting. 

" When I think of returning to New York, the 
late changes there, rise before me and fill my heart 
with sadness. But the thought comes home with 
interest and force, though all others are away, 
though all else change, God is ever present, ever the 
same. May I be kept from idols, and seek my all, 
in him and from him. 

"Ever your own, 

Sarah." 

" Chatham, Aug. 17, 1830. 
" Where would our course tend, were we per- 
mitted to order our own steps ? Who is not con- 
vinced that ruin would ensue ? — and yet knowing 
this, how can we hesitate yielding up our all, our 
temporal and eternal interests, into his hands who 
cannot err. How often is good brought from 
apparent evil, — light from darkness, — and still we 
12 



134 MEMOIR OF 

cling to our own plans, and desire their accom- 
plishment with just as much earnestness as though 
we could bring them all to pass. Shall our own 
petty concerns claim all our thoughts, all our 
exertions, when we are in the midst of a world 
lying in wickedness, — surrounded by those endeared 
to us by the ties of nature, who are still in the 
bondage of sin ? Is not our enjoyment just in pro- 
portion to our spiritual mindedness, and our efforts 
to promote the cause of Christ % Oh, for the spirit 
of a missionary, — for the spirit of Christ my Sa- 
viour ! When will this evil disposition be subdued, 
and my whole mind be brought into subjection 
to the law of Christ. If we were to look more fre- 
quently into our own hearts, — if we were to study 
ourselves more, should we not be more humble, and 
live more like Christians ?" 

This temporary release from the care of her 
school, the bracing air of the country, and the kind- 
ness of friends, had a salutary influence upon her 
health and spirits. She looked with cheerfulness on 
the face of nature, and loved to trace in every object 
and event, the benevolent regard of her Heavenly 
Father. A few days before her return to the city, 
writing to a friend, she gives a pleasing sketch of 
some of her excursions. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 135 

" Chatham, Aug. 23, 7 o'clock, A. M. 

" I have just returned from my morning walk, 
which led me to the eminence east of the ' New 
House.' As I was ascending the hill, I almost 
unconsciously exclaimed, ' see, yonder comes the 
powerful king of day rejoicing in the east.' The sun 
appearing in glory, soon dissipated the blue mist, 
which was slowly rising from the verdant hills, and 
the unruffled river. My walk was solitary, but by 
no means dreary ; for who can be lonely amid such 
a scene ? Still, my enjoyment, at such times, is 
always enhanced when shared. 

" The view of M , of the river, — the scenery 

above and below, is from that spot fair and ex- 
tensive. You have been near it, therefore I shall 
not attempt description, but of my Saturday's delights, 
you shall have some account. My good sister 

H. and myself, started at an early hour for B , 

about nine miles to the west of us. Our ride 
lay along the bank of a beautiful stream, bordered 
with velvet green flats, — groves of willows ' melan- 
choly waving,' — clusters of other trees, — cottages, — 
and all the variety and simplicity, which, when com- 
bined, are so pleasing. Sometimes might be seen a 
lofty distant hill, entirely covered with shrubbery, — 
while nearer appeared a verdant spot surrounded 
by trees. These reminded me forcibly of the green 



136 MEMOIR OF 

sunny spots, which memory now and then meets 
with in her review of the past. 

" We commenced our homeward ride at six P. M., 
and all that had so delighted me in the morning, was 
rendered still more beautiful by the softness and 
richness, which the full rays of the declining sun 
cast over it. 'Twas a feast to the eyes, — 'twas re- 
freshing to the mind. Who, thought I, can gaze on 
nature here,andnot acknowledge and adore 'nature's 
God.' The sunset was cloudless, — it was glorious, 
— and yet it inspired me with feelings so pensive, as 
to amount almost to sadness. ' Twilight had in her 
sober livery all things clad,' before we reached 
M — ' — . Do you know that the hour of twilight is, 
with C, and myself, a consecrated season % Oh, 
cousin H., would that you, from experience, could 
testify to the rational, soul satisfying enjoyment, there 
is to be found in calling upon God. 

" Tuesday, 1 o'clock, P. M. 
" This is the last hour I spend at home. There 
is something strangely affecting to me in that word 
1 last.' I am not given to gloomy forebodings, and 
yet when I think — the last, — it reaches my heart. 
I have just heard, through Mrs. T., that you are very 
unwell, and feared another attack of bleeding. Why 
did you not tell me so ? I took encouragement, from 
your silence on the subject, and as you closed ' in 






MRS. TAYLOR. 137 

haste,' supposed you did not think to mention it. I 
would again, ( would that I could do it effectually,) 
plead with you to attend with all diligence to the 
interests of your immortal soul. 

" Your sincere friend, 

Sarah." 

The first letter she wrote after resuming her 
duties in the city, was to her sister Jerusha, who, 
as yet, gave no evidence of having chosen that good 
part, which can never be taken away. 

" New York, Sept. 4,1830. 
" My dear sister, 

" The recollection that this night completes your 
twentieth year, has given rise to a variety of 
thoughts, and awakened many desires for your hap- 
piness. My neglecting to say much on this subject 
when at home, was not because I did not then think 
or feel concerning your case. I can never cease to 
feel most deeply for you. But how shall I induce 
you to feel for yourself? Shall I ask you to review 
the past, — to look back as far as your memory 
extends, and trace the merciful dealings of the 
Lord? 

" Will not many blessings and privileges rise to 
your mind? You will remember when you were 
indifferent, entirely unconcerned about the great aad 
12* 



138 MEMOIR OF 

all important subject. You will recollect the time 
when you embraced the doctrine, which is so 
pleasing to the carnal mind, the unchanged heart ; — 
nor can you forget the season, when you were 
brought to see the fallacy of that belief, — the need 
of a new heart, — of forgiveness of sin through 
Christ, of repentance and faith. You felt then, that 
there was little in time worth living for, compared 
with eternal realities. You felt the emptiness of 
earth, and its insufficiency to give enjoyment without 
the consolations of religion. And why did you feel 
this 1 Why were your eyes opened, to see things 
in this, their true light % It was by the influence of 
that blessed Spirit, whom we are commanded not to 
grieve ; and of whom, it is declared, ' He shall not 
always strive with man.' 

" Were you not often invited to come to Jesus, — 
to seek that peace, which he alone can give ? You 
thought you desired to be a Christian, and were 
willing to give up the world, to secure an inheritance 
in the realms of bliss. Do you feel that you have 
given up the world entirely ? I fear not ; but if you 
have, it would not purchase heaven for you. It is 
the surrender of your heart, of yourself, that God 
requires. And why delay this act ? Why longer 
grieve the spirit, and put off that, which, by defer- 
ring, becomes more difficult. Perhaps you are 
waiting for deeper convictions of sin ; or for some- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 139 

thing, you hardly know what. It may be you are 
trying by your own unaided exertions, to recommend 
yourself to Christ, and are not willing to come 
with all your sins upon you. But if you tarry till 
you are better, you will never come." 

" Sunday morning. 
" My thoughts have rested, this morning, on my 
dear friends, with more than ordinary interest. Oh, 
that I could look beyond this vale of tears, in the con- 
fident expectation of meeting them, and spending an 
eternal sabbath with them, in that world, of which 
this bright and beautiful morning, and these cloudless 
skies, may give us some faint idea. But the chief 
beauty and excellence of that state will be, that God 
himself shall be there, — and the Lamb in the 
midst. Sin and pollution shall never disturb or 
distress ; — all, — all there, will be what eye hath not 
seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart conceived. To 
secure this, how plain is the way ! how reasonable 
the conditions ! and yet how difficult for the sinner 
to accept ! What a clinging there is to earthly idols ! 
But my dear sister, difficult as it appears, it is only 
1 look and live'; confess and heartily forsake sin, and 
it shall be forgiven you ; yea more, cast yourself 
upon the mercy of him who died to redeem you, and 
not only pardon, but eternal life is yours. And is 
not this the safest course % If you refuse to give 



140 MEMOIR OF 

yourself to the Lord, the word of inspiration says, 
you must be eternally miserable. 

" Read the 30th chapter of Deuteronomy, — -and 
choose, even this day, whom you will serve. Let 
this be a new era in your life. Resolve, humbly, 
and in the strength of the Lord, that whatever 
others may do, you will serve him. Do you shrink 
in view of difficulties, — put your trust wholly in the 
Lord, and he will never permit you to be overcome 
or confounded. There is no time for delay. Not 
only resolve, but act. Begin, by unceasing prayer 
for light to see the way of duty, and for strength to 
walk therein. Shrink not from the requirements of 
the gospel, but seek to be actuated by right motives. 
Ask for zeal according to knowledge. Let your first 
efforts be to secure the approbation of your God, and 
the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. 

" Feebly as I have expressed myself, you will 
not, my dear Jerusha, despise the course I recom- 
mend. You will not reject it, I know you will not. 
Do not then defer complying, — not with my advice, 
and my terms , but with the terms of the gospel. 
Take that as your guide. Read it much, and with 
prayer. Resist the tempter, and he will flee from 
you. 

" Your deeply interested, and affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 






MRS. TAYLOR. 141 

Though Miss Foote could plead earnestly with 
others to be reconciled to God, and describe with 
glowing feelings the happiness, to be found in the 
paths of religion ; yet she was no stranger to seasons 
of doubt and darkness. Her confessions of sin, of the 
wandering of her heart, and the divided state of her 
affections, were often so touching, as powerfully to 
elicit the sympathy of her friends. She loved the 
society of those, who had chosen the Saviour for 
their portion. Her intercourse with them revived 
her spirits, and excited her to engage, with renewed 
zeal, in the christian warfare. The thought that 
these conflicts were not peculiar to herself, that they 
were often experienced by the children of God ; 
while it did not induce her to relax her vigilance, 
aided in keeping her from despondency. In her 
darkest hours she could look beyond this transitory 
scene, and hold communion with an ever present and 
Eternal Friend. 

"Sept. 8. 

" My eyes never fill, but with tears of grati- 
tude, in thinking of the way in which the Lord 
has led me, and of his merciful dealings towards 
me. When retracing these, his hand is so plainly 
seen, that I can only adore, and weep. These re- 
views strengthen my confidence ; and inspire me 
with firmer hope. Yet when reflecting on the glo- 
rious inheritance to which the child of God is heir 



142 MEMOIR OF 

beyond this probationary state ; I cannot, at times, 
believe, that all this is in store for a being so 
unworthy and useless. 

"I realized my responsibility more than usual 
last week, and strongly desired to be more faithful, 
more consistent in my conduct, and to keep nearer 
to the throne of grace. I would awake, though 
burdened, and arise, and cast myself upon God. 
How necessary to have such a view of earth, and all 
its concerns, as shall lead me to place a just esti- 
mate upon them ; to look upon every object in the 
light of eternity, and with reference to the final 
judgment ! O, Lord, help me to follow Christ, 
through evil as well as good report ; and to cherish 
an abiding sense of the value of immortal souls." 

In a letter to a friend, on the 16th of Sept. she 
transcribed the following hymn, and remarked, 
" This is a favourite of mine. I love to dwell on 
the sentiments which it contains." 



" I would not live alway : I ask not to stay 

Where storm after storm rises dark o'er the way ; 
The few lurid mornings that dawn on us here, 

Are enough for life's woes, full enough for its cheer. 

I would not live alway, thus fetter'd by sin ; 

Temptation without, and corruption within. 
E'en the rapture of pardon is mingled with fears, 
And the cup of thanksgiving with penitent tears. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 143 

I would not live alway ; no — welcome the tomb, 
Since Jesus hath lain there, I dread not its gloom ; 

There, sweet be my rest, till he bid me arise 
To hail him in triumph descending the skies. 

Who, who would live alway, away from his God ; 

Away from yon heaven, that blissful abode, 
Where the rivers of pleasure flow o'er the bright plains, 

And the noontide of glory eternally reigns : 

Where the saints of all ages in harmony meet, 
Their Saviour and brethren, transported to greet ; 

While the anthems of rapture unceasingly roll, 

And the smile of the Lord is the feast of the soul !" 



"Sunday evening, Sept. 27, 1830. 

" Another Sunday, with its exalted privileges, 
has passed away. The review only of this one day, 
is enough, considered in reference to the dread tri- 
bunal, to depress my spirits. Why dolnot strive more 
earnestly and continually, to be conformed to the spirit 
of my Lord and Master 1 How can I believe myself 
an accountable being, accountable for the improvement 
or abuse, of time, talents, and influence, without making 
an effort to divest myself of the unholy influences, 
which keep me in bondage to the world ? Why do 
I not awake and put on the whole armor of God, and 
live as a child of the light ? 

"I listened, this afternoon, to an awakening dis- 
course. The preacher instituted a comparison be- 



144 MOIR OF 

tween idolatrous Athens, and New York. The for- 
mer had more temples than all the rest of Greece. 
It had an altar for every human passion, for 
of other nations, — for the Unknown God. All this 
when science was in the acme of it.s glory. 
But, professing themselves wise, they became fools, 
and changed the glory of the incorruptible God, into 
an image made, [ike to corruptible man. 

"This great city is professedly enlightened, and 
christianized , but does not the eagerness with 
which a great majority of the inhabitants seek 
wealth and honor, or devote themselves to sinful in- 
dulgences, amount to idolatry? All this it done 
amidst the full blaze of gospel light, Are we then 

very far behind Athens, m folly, or in guilt? I low 
many here are destitute of religious knowledge, and 
never come within the sound of the gospel ! 
Surely the worth of the soul, has never yet been 

impressed On our minds, or we should he voolant, 

persevering, unwearied, in exertions. 

"I called on all my Sunday scholars yesterday, 
Their eyes brightened with j<>y, when they saw me, 
They are a hopeful little band. My interest u\ them 
continually increases! May I be taught of God, and 

should 1 be privileged to eontmue with them, be 

more faithful, circumspect, and consistent. 

" Your ever affectionate, 

Sakajj." 



MRS. TAYLOR. 145 

The mental conflicts of Miss Foote, induced her 
to ask the advice of a clerical friend. The result 
appears to have been salutary. She was enabled to 
look away from herself, and fix her thoughts on the 
Saviour. The Lord was evidently preparing her, by 
a severe discipline, for increasing usefulness. Her 
conscience was tenderly alive to every neglect of 
duty. The spiritual welfare of her pupils acquired 
a stronger hold of her affections. She found renew- 
ed pleasure in placing before them, Jesus Christ, as 
the only Saviour of guilty men. Her prayers, and 
her instructions, were accompanied with a blessing. 
Several of them became anxious to obtain an inte- 
rest in the great salvation. 

" Fully sensible of her dependence upon the influ- 
ence of the Holy Spirit, and deeply affected with a 
sense of her personal guilt, she implored the Lord to 
aid her by his holy counsels, to keep her in that 
frame, which would be most acceptable in his sight; 
— to cleanse her heart from all iniquity, and to make 
her the honored instrument in his hands, of conduct- 
ing these dear children, in the path of peace and 
holiness. Those who have been in similar situa- 
tions, and felt the weight of their responsibility, will 
readily conceive, how painful must have been her 
solicitude. They know too, from heartfelt experi- 
ence, how comforting it is, to be able to go to a 

throne of grace, and cast all their cares upon him, 
13 



146 MEMOIR OF 

who careth for them, and will never be unmindful of 
the importunate supplications of his devoted chil- 
dren." 

In a letter to her friend, on the 9th of Oct., she 
thus writes : " Though I have not recently had that 
light and joy which many experience ; yet I have 
felt it a privilege to cast myself at the foot of the 
cross, with the determination to live henceforth by 
faith in the Son of God. Oh, for grace ! Surely, 
if any person ever needed a double portion of the 
Spirit, it is your weak, erring friend. May we both 
ever keep near the Saviour, and, remembering our 
weakness, and our entire dependence, be more 
watchful, — more zealously engaged in the cause of 
our divine master." 

"Nov. 14, 1830. 
" My ever dear C, 

" In reading the life of Mrs. Huntington, I have 
been greatly struck, with the similarity between 
many of her feelings and my own. I find her 
expressing doubts, as to her ever having had correct 
views of the character of God, and his attributes, 
and of the odiousness of sin in his sight. She 
doubted, but did not despair. I had, for several days 
previous to commencing it, earnestly longed for 
right views of God — of sin — and of Christ, as the 
Redeemer and Mediator. At times, if this sinful 



MRS. TAYLOR. 147 

heart did not deceive me, I realized that God was 
on the throne of the universe. * swaying the sceptre 
of universal dominion.' The enquiry was suggest- 
ed, who am I, to rebel against him ? Why do I not 
humble myself more, and exercise more hearty re- 
pentance on account of sin ? Unless even the ap- 
pearance of evil is avoided, and every avenue to the 
heart strictly guarded, sinful thoughts will gain ad- 
mittance. 

" In referring to Mrs. H., I do not mean to com- 
pare myself with her, in attainments, experience, or 
any of the christian graces ; I may admire, and so 
far as she followed Jesus, seek to imitate her exam- 
ple. It is a continual source of grief to me, that 
pride has such a place in my heart, and is so fre- 
quently manifested in my words and actions. But I 
can more freely than formerly, pour out my soul to 
God, and ask him to purify me from everything that 
is offensive to him. 

" At these seasons, it seems to me, that no suffer- 
ing, or sacrifice, would be unwelcome, that had a 
tendency, to weaken my love to the world, and make 
me more heavenly minded. At other times, I 
shrink from the thought, and ask myself, how could 
I endure the fiery trials, through which some of the 
Lord's servants have been required to pass ! Yet 
with all my weakness, may I not confidently be- 



148 MEMOIR OF 

lieve, that the promise will be verified, ' as thy days 
so shall thy strength be?' 

"Nov. 21. I have again been reading in Mrs. H's 
memoirs. Few persons have exhibited more con- 
formity to the image of the blessed Saviour, or more 
entire submission to the will of God. His glory 
seemed to be the great all, with her. i God knows 
best,' was her reply to every murmuring thought, or 
rebellious feeling. Why am I so easily discoura- 
ged? I fear I am too anxious to arrive at particular 
frames of feeling, instead of acting, as though I be- 
lieved, that it is the general tenor of our desires, and 
the usual state of our hearts and affections, by 
which we should judge of our spiritual condition. 
My unworthy name is enrolled among the disciples 
of Jesus in the records of the church on earth, can 
I rationally hope it is written in the Lamb's book of 
life? Oh, for divine assistance, in the performance 
of every duty ! 

" May I not indulge the hope, that we shall be 
permitted to enjoy again, personal intercourse, and 
take sweet counsel together ? Let us ever remem- 
ber that we are not our own ; that we, and all those 
things most dear to us, are at the disposal of an all 
wise Being. I would sit at Jesus' feet, and hang 
upon the promises. Though I have not such a 
sense of God's presence, or that enjoyment in 
prayer, which I desire ; yet I sometimes find relief 



MRS. TAYLOR. 149 

at a throne of grace, and can hope, that my Father 
will lend a listening ear to my supplications, and 
grant me those things, which are asked according to 
his will. 

" How happy must they be, whose wills are swal- 
lowed up in the divine will ! — who see the hand of 
the Lord in every event, and, in all their ways, ac- 
knowledge him ; who do indeed love him supremely, 
and live by faith in his dear Son ! I would love 
the Bible more, and understand it better. I feel the 
need of having clearer views of holiness and hea- 
ven, and of seeking more constantly, to leave my- 
self entirely in the Lord's hands, trusting that he 
will teach and guide, — own and bless. Pray for 
me, that I may ever live to his glory. 

" Your affectionate, but unworthy friend, 

Sarah." 

"To Miss B. f Scotchtown, N. J. 

"New-York, Nov. 22, 1830. 
" Well, dear Mehitabel, the month of November 
is almost gone, and where are you ? Must I be dis- 
appointed in the pleasing, cherished anticipation, of 
again enjoying personal intercourse with you ? Oh, 
time, time ! — who can reckon its rapid flight? Six 
months have fled since we met ; and what is the c re- 
port they've borne to heaven ? i The first enquiry, 
which it becomes us to make is, what has been our 
13* 



150 MEMOIR OF 

progress in the divine life ? Alas, my dear friend, 
a history of all my feelings, of my resolutions to for- 
sake sin — and again transgressing, while it would 
interest you, because it concerns me, would be of 
little benefit. Do not think I am averse to free and 
unreserved communications. I have often been re- 
lieved and comforted by them. Yet there are sea- 
sons, when it is almost impossible to give expression 
to my feelings. 

" Though my conflicts have been peculiarly se- 
vere, I have no cause for complaint. ' Our God is 
unchangeable,' ' the same yesterday, to-day, and for- 
ever.' If we forsake him, must we not expect to 
walk in spiritual darkness ? What strange incon- 
sistency, for those who have found that happiness, 
which is produced by the blessed truths of the gos- 
pel, to turn to this fallacious, unsatisfying world ! 

" Are not persons of an ardent temperament — 
whose sensibility is acute and strong, in more dan- 
ger of being overcome by temptation, than those of a 
contrary disposition ? Surely such need a ' double 
portion' of grace. They must indeed 'pray and 
never faint,' if they would press forward in the nar- 
row way. 

" Would not a more frequent contemplation of the 
divine perfections — especially of the holiness of God, 
lessen our love of self, and increase our hatred of 
sin? Are there not many professed Christians, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 151 

whose comfort respecting the future, is drawn much 
more from the thought, that their eternal happiness 
will then be secured ; than that they shall be per- 
mitted to dwell in the blissful presence of God, free 
from imperfection, beholding the Saviour in all the 
brightness of his glory ? 

"Your ever affectionate, 

Sarah ." 

Conscious of many imperfections, she made un- 
ceasing endeavors to advance in the Christian race. 
Each new discovery of unsubdued sin, increased 
her watchfulness, and excited her to persevere with 
unremitted diligence. She felt, that the period for 
effort was short, and the requisitions of the gospel 
imperative. Slothfulness in her Master's vineyard 
was highly criminal. These thoughts pressed upon 
her heart ; she gave expression to them when 
writing to her friend. 

"Nov. 27, 1830. 
" My own dear Catharine, what shall I say ? 
You know the strength of my attachment to you — 
but as Mrs. H. says, * God loves you better than I 
do.' Why have we so little confidence in Him? 
How can we wander so frequently from him, who 
careth continually for us, and constantly upholds us ! 
If we ever reach the ' shore of blest eternity,' what 



152 MEMOTR OF 

shall we then think, what shall we then feel, in view 
of our present unbelief ? 

" Let us call to mind all the way our God has led 
us — let us thank him and take courage, laying 
hold upon his strength, and rejoicing that we are to 
walk by faith and not by sight. My dear C, why 
are our souls so languid ? Can we not plead 
that we may be quickened in the divine life — 
strengthened anew for the conflict?" 

Alluding to the memoirs of two females, eminent 
for their piety, she remarks, " some of their charac- 
teristics I think are very dissimilar — but I love them 
both ; no doubt they now see eye to eye, and walk 
together in the golden streets of the New Jerusalem. 
They have entered into rest — but they toiled, and 
watched, and prayed. Shall we yield to discourage- 
ment, when assured that if faithful, we shall come 
off more than conquerors ; — yea, that we shall re- 
ceive a crown of life % 

" May we be zealous followers of those, who 
through faith and patience are now inheriting the 
promises. — Oh ! what is the longest life, compared 
with eternity? It is nothing; — and when we can 
look beyond the bounds of time, all the things by 
which we are now surrounded, seem as nothing ; 
but we live by minutes, and are creatures of feeling ; 
hence we are affected by the every day occurrences 
of life. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 153 

" How common is the petition, ' Help me to live 
as I shall wish I had done, when I come to die ;' — 
and yet how little do we strive for this, or seek to 
live each day as if it were our last. Oh ! let us de- 
sire, that our future plans may be left with God — 
let us ask, that one principle may ever constrain us 
— love to God ! and that we may have the attain- 
ment of one end, continually in view — the glory of 
God ! May we do this, desiring to leave all at his 
disposal. His way is best. He will direct our 
steps, if we trust in him, and prepare us for the joy 
of his everlasting kingdom. 

" Yours affectionately, 

Sarah." 



CHAPTER VII. 



Self-examination — "Advice to a young christian" — Female 
biography— ^Arduous duties of her school — Dangerous illness 
of a sister — Interesting seasons with her pupils — Reflections 
at the close of the year — Bishop M'llvaine — Divine purpose 
in permitting some of the Canaanites to remain in the Holy 
Land — Tendency of afflictions to draw the heart to God — 
Affecting case of destitution and suffering — Letter from Rev. 
J. A. Clark. 

Miss Foote employed much time in the exami- 
nation of her own heart, and fervently prayed for 
the illumination of the Holy Spirit, that she might 
see her defects, be cleansed from all iniquity, and 
engage, with elevated faith, in every department of 
duty. It is pleasing to perceive, that, though sur- 
rounded by many temptations, she was aspiring after 
greater deadness to the world, with her eye fixed on 
the atonement of Jesus, as the only ground of her 
confidence. 

" Sunday Eve, Dec. 5, 1830. 
" As an accountable and immortal being, as a pro- 
fessing christian, I have many duties to perform. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 155 

Duties to God, to myself, and to the world. If I 
hope or desire to perform these aright, it is necessa- 
ry that my own heart should be right. Yes, it is 
necessary that this seat of iniquity should be 
cleansed, and made meet for the residence of the 
Holy Spirit. As a christian, I cannot be satisfied 
with present attainments, but should earnestly and 
continually desire, to employ those means, which 
will aid in producing a conformity to the will and 
image of the blessed Jesus. 

" Believing that frequent self-examination is one 
of the greatest helps, to a knowledge of our own 
true state ; and having found myself greatly assisted 
in this, by occasionally recording the exercises of 
my mind ; the resolutions formed, and the mercies 
enjoyed, I have resumed the practice. 

" Enable me, O Lord, to act from a clear sense of 
duty in forming resolutions ; and preserve me from 
abusing thy manifold mercies. May I judge myself 
impartially, and steadfastly resist the unhallowed in- 
fluence, of a desire for the approbation of the world. 
Help me to keep a conscience void of offence, and 
tenderly alive to thy requirements. Above all, may 
I seek to glorify thee, and ever feel that I am not 
my own, but wholly and voluntarily thine. Make 
me more holy, and more devoted to the great con- 
cerns of my soul. Preserve me from sinful desires 
and motives. Teach me, in infinite mercy, more of 



156 MEMOIR OF 

myself, of my offences, and my helplessness, that I 
may love thee more, and rest entirely upon Christ as 
my Saviour. May I not only see, but feel ; may I 
have that faith, which works by love, purifies the 
heart, and overcomes the world. 

" Have this evening finished the perusal of ' Ad- 
vice to a Young Christian,' and hope I can sincerely 
thank God, that it was placed in my hand. Rarely 
have I read any thing on the subject, so clear, so 
full of feeling. It is just what I need. May the 
advice be received, and loved, and followed. In 
pursuance of the recommendation of the writer, and 
with humble confidence in divine aid ; I resolve that 
at the close of each day, I will examine myself, 
scrutinize my motives of action, ' analyze my feelings,' 
see what duties have been performed, and what 
have been left undone, or carelessly and superficially 
attended to. Lord thou knowest me altogether, 
thou canst not be deceived, thou wilt not be mocked. 
May this thought lead me to flee every approach to 
deception, may it urge me to duty, and may I in the 
performance of duty be accepted through Christ." 

She alludes to the same subject at a later period, 
in a letter to her friend C, and expresses her surprise 
that the duty had received so small a share of her 
attention. 

" Yesterday, I endeavored to ascertain, whether 
my affections were realJy placed upon the Lord. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 157 

But I could only appeal to Him who knows all 
things, and beg, yea implore, with bitter tears, that I 
might be delivered from hypocrisy, and self-delusion. 
Dear C. how much we have to do ! Without step- 
ping beyond the boundaries of the * little world 
within,' we have enough to occupy our time, and en- 
gage our thoughts. Add to this, the duty we owe 
to God and to our fellow creatures ; — can we be 
idle? 

" You speak of the necessity of self-examination ; 
Is it not surprising that, until recently, my atten- 
tion has been very little directed to the subject 1 
This will account for my deficiency in self-know- 
ledge. I hope, by the blessing of God, and the as- 
sistance of the Holy Spirit, to attend daily to this 
duty. Do you not think there is great danger of 
performing it superficially? Often, when I have 
been pursuing the examination, the iniquity of my 
heart has appeared in such a light, that I have 
shrunk from the view, and turned my thoughts to 
another subject. May a sense of my deficiency 
humble me in the dust, and lead me to exalt Him 
who can teach and enlighten. 

" You ask my opinion of religious biography, and 

of the emulation it excites. It certainly has a powerful 

effect. I think the perusal of well written narratives, 

and especially memoirs of females, has a happy in- 

14 



158 MEMOIR OF 

fluence, and is calculated to inspire with confidence, 
on the one hand, and humility, on the other. 

" Mrs. H. appears to have had very little unre- 
served intercourse with her friends, — that christian 
communion, — that interchange of feelings, which has 
a tendency, when properly regulated, to promote our 
comfort, and increase our affection for each other. 
But perhaps those parts of her correspondence were 
omitted. Do not imagine that my opinion of her is 
less favorable, than when I alluded to her before. 
My deep interest in the subject, has led to this ex- 
pression of my views." 

Miss Foote's school having become so large, as 
to render it impossible for her to perform its duties 
without assistance, she had, for some time, been 
solicitous to have a person associated with her, who 
would diminish her cares and responsibility. This 
was the more necessary, from repeated indications 
of disease, and an inability to use her voice without 
much suffering. Arrangements were accordingly 
made for her sister J. to assume a portion of the la- 
bor. At the time her arrival was expected, Sarah 
received the painful intelligence, that this sister, for 
whose welfare, she had cherished the deepest soli- 
citude, was dangerously ill. Her feelings, on the 
occasion, will be seen by an extract from a letter to 
her beloved C. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 159 

" New York, Dec. 14, 1830. 

" Did you receive my line, with the Middletown 
letter ? If so, you are anxious to learn how my 
friends are. My dear mother is recovering, — but 
oh, how shall I tell you, — how can I think of it ? 
My dear Jerusha is, in all probability, rapidly 
hastening to the grave. Yes, she, who a few short 
weeks since, was so blooming, so full of life, hope, 
and animation, is now past exertion, — pale, — ema- 
ciated, and daily declining. Her disease is a rapid 
consumption. You start. Where are my plans ? — 
"Where my promised enjoyment? Oh, Catharine, 
you will sympathize with me, — you know my affection 
for her. Yet it is all right ; — God, who cannot err, 
has done it. Though the visitation has been so 
sudden, that it seems a Providence shrouded in 
darkness. 

" Dear C, plead with God, not for her life, — 
but for her soul % Pray that she may indeed be re- 
newed in the temper and spirit of her mind, — that 
she may not be permitted to go into eternity unpre- 
pared. I expect to hear from her again this week, 
and, should she be no more comfortable, the day on 
which I have anticipated folding you to my heart, 
will probably see me on the way to my sorrowful 
home." 

Allusions to her scholars, in different letters, 
evince the fervor of her soul in their behalf. Speak- 



160 MEMOIR OF 

ing of the responsibility of a teacher, she says, 
" How many anxieties rest upon the mind ! What 
a variety of feelings fill the breast ! and, yet, 'tis a 
delightful task. Who, who can tell the destiny, the 
varied features, of the lives of the dear ones, now 
joyful, and light-hearted around us ? What a change 
among them, will a few, a very few, short years ef- 
fect ! — and eternity, — oh, who can tell ? 

" We need to receive constant supplies of grace. 
Let us then, dear M., plead for each other, that we 
may be faithful in the trust committed to us, and at 
last enter into the joy of our Lord. 

" Have you read Pollok's £ Course of Time V If 
so, I think you will agree with me in admiring not 
only the sublimity of the style, but the loftiness and 
originality of many of the ideas. Let me know your 
opinion of it in your next letter." 

Ennobling views of the divine character, and per- 
fections, were sometimes suggested to her mind, 
when earnestly engaged in imparting instruction. — 
" To-day in school, I was speaking of the celestial 
system to my little scholars, and endeavoring to 
explain to them, how the stars hung in ' boundless 
space,' and were suns to other worlds. In attempt- 
ing to lead their minds to the contemplation of the 
greatness and power, and at the same time to the 
goodness and condescension of God, I was really 
filled with the thought, and with unusual vividness, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 161 

saw in God a being worthy of our love, confidence, 
and adoration ; and felt that the knowledge of such 
a being, is calculated to dignify and exalt" 

On another occasion, she says, " I have this after- 
noon been endeavoring to impress on the minds of 
my scholars, the uncertainty and brevity of life, and 
the glorious hope, which the christian has, in view 
of death. I was insensibly led into this strain, and 
you know how every thought must, as it were, be 
simplified, that they may comprehend it. While 
conversing with them, I thought I could bid earth, 
and all its pleasures, cares, and pains, a glad adieu. 
And oh, I felt the responsibility of my charge, and 
looking upon the little group around me, earnestly 
desired so to walk before them, as to lead them to 
believe, that I am indeed influenced by the princi- 
ples I inculcate. Oh, dear C, how watchful, how 
prayerful, how unwearied in our exertions ought we 
to be." 

" Friday eve, Dec. 31, 1830. 
" Well, my dear C. the last hour in another year 
is nearly spent. Yes, another year is mingled with 
those already gone. What a season for reflection ! 
Blessings unmerited, privileges misimproved, chan- 
ges in the circle of our friends, — oh, how many 
things rush upon the mind. You have I trust, spent 
the day as you contemplated, and received benefit 
14* 



162 MEMOIR OF 

from it. I have had more time than usual for re- 
tirement. 

" Read some portions of Scott's Commentary. 
His notes and practical observations on the 15th 
chapter of John ; how true they are ! I felt a de- 
sire to be united, as a living branch, to Christ, the 
living vine, and to feed upon his fulness, and to draw* 
from thence strength, to bring forth more and more, 
yea, abundant fruit to his glory. If I have gained 
more knowledge of myself the past year, there is too 
much cause to fear that I have profited but little by 
the dear bought experience; and that the avenues to 
temptation, and unbelief, have not been suitably 
guarded. 

" A sentence in the Commentary, reminded me 
of what had been my own condition. * Christians 
find by experience, that any interruption in the exer- 
cise of faith, abates the vigor of every holy affection, 
makes way, for the renewed energy of carnal incli- 
nation, and thus robs them of all enjoyment.' 

" I have reason to cry, in sincerity and bitterness 
of soul, 6 create in me a clean heart, O God, and re- 
new a right spirit within me.' Now what shall be our 
resolutions ? Have we indeed renewedly, and un- 
reservedly, given ourselves to Him whose we are ? — 
then let us live to him, by walking circumspectly, 
redeeming the time, — no more our oivn ! Oh, to 
be actuated continually by this thought ! — a constant 



MRS. TAYLOR. 163 

recollection of it would surely be a powerful incen- 
tive to the performance of those duties, and the 
cherishing of those feelings, that are acceptable in 
the sight of God. 

" May He, in whose sight a thousand years are 
as one day, He, who is able to keep you from fall- 
ing, and present you before the throne with exceed- 
ing joy, watch over, guide, and strengthen you, and 
supply you with every needed grace and blessing ; 
prays your ever affectionate, 

Sarah." 

"Jan. 1. 
" Heard the Rev. Mr. M'llvaine, from the 90th 
Psalm, 12th verse, — ' So teach us to number our 
days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.' 
In an eloquent, impressive, and affectionate manner, 
he entreated the people of his charge, to number 
their days according to the principles of Scripture ; — 
to judge of the future from the past, and look for aid 
to the only source of true wisdom. He reminded 
them, that their days were not to be numbered by 
the seasons they had past, but by the manner in 
which they had lived. He pointed to the necessity 
of an experimental change of heart, the pleasure of 
a life of piety, and the importance of daily cherish- 
ing thoughts of death ; that when he comes, we may 
meet him as a friend, with whom we are familiarly 



164 MEMOIR OF 

acquainted, and welcome him as the harbinger of 
peace. What time more suitable to commence this 
work than a new year ? I felt the truth and force 
of the sentiments, and trust, I may be profited by 
them." 

"Jan. 3, 1831. 

" My school room was very solemn this morning. 
May it become more and more so, to me, and my 
dear scholars. May this be a year in which the 
Lord will appear by his spirit in our midst." 

She scrupulously watched over her heart, lest any 
feelings should have place there, at variance with 
those which the gospel enjoined. Every subject on 
which she reflected, seemed to shed light, on the in- 
terior movements of the soul, or to suggest consider- 
ations of practical importance. She knew how to 
point the arrow of divine truth, at what was perverse 
in human action; and was ever a severe judge of 
herself. When writing for the Bible Class, she 
always proceeded from the general view unfolded 
by the subject, to the influence, it should exert on 
the lives and consciences of individuals. The only 
remaining exercises of this kind, that have come 
into the possession of the writer, belong to this 
period of her life. It is believed they will be read 
with profit, by all who desire to walk in the path of 
holiness. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 165 

" For what purpose did God leave the Canaan- 
itsh nations among the Israelites, and not hastily 
drive them out ? Judges, Chapter, II. 

" Had the ten tribes been permitted to enter, unmo- 
lested, into the promised land, and to retain undisputed 
possession of the ' goodly heritage,' we may suppose 
they would nevertherless have forgotten Him, who 
delivered them ' with a mighty hand, and a stretched 
out arm ;' for their idolatrous disposition was clearly 
manifested, when, in full view of Sinai, they made, and 
worshipped, a golden calf. And not only then, but 
from the time the waves were divided for them, the 
more signal their mercies, the more flagrant was their 
ingratitude. Even the covenant so solemnly made, 
and so sacredly confirmed, was ' transgressed,' and 
the posterity of those who had served the Lord, fol- 
lowed after other gods, and ' ceased not from their 
own doings, and their stubborn way.' Well might 
the anger of the Lord wax hot against them, and in- 
duce him to declare, ' Because this people have 
transgressed my covenant, which I commanded their 
fathers, and have not hearkened unto my voice, I also 
will not henceforth drive out from before them, any of 
the nations, which Joshua left, when he died, that 
through them I may prove Israel, whether they will 
keep the way of the Lord, to walk therein, as their 
fathers did keep it, or not' 

" If, in the wanderings of the chosen people 



166 MEMOIR OF 

through the wilderness, the christian can trace his 
own way, he will, in their subsequent course, find a 
delineation of the same. How often, after detecting 
secret sins, and being deeply affected by them, 
making confession of guilt, and forming resolutions 
of amendment ; yea, after renewedly entering into 
covenant with the Lord, and subscribing with his 
own hand to be the servant of the God of Jacob ;— 
how often, does he find himself, again enshrining 
idols in his heart, and giving to them that homage, 
which God alone can claim. By this, he, as was 
Israel, is tried, whether he will keep the way of the 
Lord and walk therein. He is shown, more and 
more of his own weakness, and led to feel that his 
sufficiency is entirely of God. 

" If all our enemies were overcome at our entrance 
into the family of Christ, and all our evil propensi- 
ties subdued, how different would be our course ! 
Our allegiance would not then be tested, as it now 
is, nor should we so often feel, that if we would 
dispossess the ' Canaanites,' ' we must be watchful 
every hour, and pray, but never faint.' 

" The experience of every day shows us, if we 
but watch the * little world within,' that 

1 Our dearest joys, our nearest friends, 

The partners of our blood, 
Too oft divide our wavering minds, 

And leave but half {ox God.' 



MRS. TAYLOR. 167 

" Knowing this, the heartfelt language of the 
christian will be, 

1 The dearest idol I have known, 

Whate'er that idol be ; 
Help me to tear it from thy throne, 

And worship only thee. 1 

"He will desire the removal" of every thing, 
which hinders the course of a Saviour's love in his 
heart, ' though dear to him as a right eye.' The 
greatest earthly blessings may be so unduly esti- 
mated, as to become our idols, and we may be as 
much ensnared by them, as endangered by our spi- 
ritual foes. A little reflection on the slightness of 
the tenure, by which we possess our temporal enjoy- 
ments, is sufficient to convince us, that we ought to 
hold them with a loose grasp — to ' use them as not 
abusing them,' that we may prove ourselves good 
stewards, * faithful over a few things,' and worthy 
through Him, whom we seek to honor, to be * made 
rulers over many things in his heavenly kingdom.' 

"Jan. 13, 1831." 

" To what did the oppression of the Midianites 
lead the Israelites ? 

11 Reduced to a distressing extremity, the Israelites 
cried unto the Lord. They doubtless felt inclined, 
from the heart, to make the appeal, Help, Lord ! 
for vain is the help of man. They were, from expe- 



168 MEMOIR OF 

rience convinced, that deliverance must be wrought 
by a more powerful arm than their own. They had 
been overcome, and were now oppressed by that 
very nation, who had in the time of Moses, been 
nearly extirpated. Their own efforts to release 
themselves were unavailing : their refuge in the 
mountains was no security against evil ; and troubles 
were thickening around them, on every side. 

" They cried unto the Lord, and, true to his pro- 
mise, their covenant keeping God, though he had 
visited their iniquities with stripes, now proved, 
that he had not utterly withdrawn his loving kind- 
ness, nor suffered his faithfulness to fail. 

" The situation of many a child of God, has been 
exactly similar to that of the chosen people at this 
time. The christian, after fierce conflicts, may ob- 
tain rest from his enemies round about, and thinking 
the victory won, he may at ease, sit down, and ceasing 
to watch, be led into, and overcome by, temptation. 

" In this whirlpool of trouble, where is his help ? 
He has laid aside his armor, and if he flees for 
refuge to the strongest fortress his own wisdom can 
devise, or his own strength erect, it will prove a 
weak defence. If he looks to himself, he is strait- 
ened on every side. His only resource will be that 
of the oppressed Israelites, crying unto the Lord. 
Alas, that it should so often, by experience be proved 
that this is the last resort. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 169 

" How frequently, at such times, will Egyptian 
darkness surround him ! Yea, the very heavens 
will seem as brass over his head. He cannot 
1 glance a thought half way to God.' Though plead- 
ing with a penitent heart, for forgiveness of past 
sins, and for assistance to prevail against the 
warring and oppressing tribes within ; he will feel 
that his doom is just, if his plea is rejected. Still, 
he will supplicate as did David, ' Hear me, O Lord ! 
when 1 cry with my voice ; have mercy upon me 
and answer me. Hide not thy face from me ; put 
not away thy servant in anger ; leave me not, neither 
forsake me, O God, of my salvation.' 

" Happy would it be, if the christian's experience, 
of all this bitterness of soul, should lead him to be 
wary, to obey the voice of the Lord, and diligently 
to follow the path of duty. Surely our hearts, like 
those of the Israelites, must be fully set in us to do 
evil, or we should continually delight to do the will 
of God, counting it our highest honor to be found in 
his service, and verifying the truth, that his com- 
mandments are not grievous, and that in keeping 
them, there is, even in this life, a great reward. 

"Jan. 30, 1831." 

Arduous as were the daily duties of Mrs. Taylor, 
she felt that the sick and destitute had claims, which 
could not be disregarded. When her own health 
15 



170 MEMOIR OF 

was feeble, she would fly to the chamber of disease 
and suffering, and spare no efforts in administering 
relief and consolation. An account, of one of these 
visits, is furnished in a letter to a friend. 

" On Thursday of last week, C> — D. — called, and, 
informing me of the extreme illness of her brother, 
requested me to go immediately to see him. I 
found him in a large room on a cot, in the most 
destitute condition. A wife of nineteen, and his 
feeble sister were the only persons present. He 
said he knew that he was a sinner, and hoped God 
would show him mercy, but of the plan of salvation 
through a Redeemer, he seemed to have little or no 
idea. I urged him to use his remaining strength, 
in seeking mercy through Jesus Christ, by casting 
himself upon him for salvation. 

" On Friday, I invited several religious friends to 
call, but the poor invalid was so exhausted by be- 
ing raised from his bed, that he was unable to con- 
verse. They generously contributed to his tempo- 
ral necessities and left him. Towards evening, I 
called again. An affecting scene was presented. 
He was in severe agony. His poor wife and sister 
were endeavoring to suppress their feelings, and, by 
every means in their power, to afford him relief. 
I assisted them, until I perceived he was fainting, 
and then enquired, if there were no neighbors, to 
whom we could apply for help ? No — all were 



MRS. TAYLOR. 171 

strangers. I went across the street, and stated the 
case ; but could not procure assistance ; all were 
busy. I returned to the bedside, and rendered all 
the service in my power. The paroxysm returned. 
I then succeeded in finding a person, who left all, 
and accompanied me. He instantly took the place 
of the worn out females. Hastening to the vicinity 
of my residence, I soon found an excellent man, 
(one of my patrons,) who consented to take care of 
him for the night. In the mean time, medicines 
were administered, which afforded temporary relief. 
Early on Saturday morning, I was requested to in- 
vite a clergyman to visit him. The poor sufferer 
was now comparatively easy in body, and expressed 
a desire to attend to his soul. 

11 My Bible Class teacher, Mr. Clark, seemed a 
proper person on whom to call. He did not hesi- 
tate, and was soon at the bedside of the dying man. 
Oh! that I could give you a just conception of the 
interesting, solemn conversation, that ensued. Mr. 
C. is a faithful minister, and an experienced one, 
too. He drew forth all the feelings of the heart, and 
then adapted his conversation to the case. Beginning 
with the first principles of religion, he explained, 
why we need a Saviour, and how we may be interest- 
ed in his death and atonement. Again and again 
did he hold up Christ to him as our only hope and 
refuge, and showed the office of the blessed Spirit. 



172 MEMOIR OF 

He concluded with a very appropriate prayer. His 
pious heart seemed raised to the mercy seat. I 
could only think of i man in audience with the 
Deity.' He pleaded with an earnestness, and fervor, 
that almost carried with it, an assurance of being 
heard and answered. 

" After this, the sick man called his wife to him, 
and urged her to make God her friend, and to look 
to Jesus for consolation. Before I left, he said, ' I 
feel greatly relieved in my mind.' In the evening 
he was more comfortable, his mind evidently ab- 
sorbed by the great truths, that had been unfolded to 
his view, and before 7 o'clock on Sunday morning, 
he was in eternity. 

" You recollect how stormy last Sunday was ; 
yet, being well prepared for the weather, I went to 
Sunday School, but was called from thence to visit 
the afflicted family by the same gentleman, who 
promptly complied with my request on Friday. He 
has proved himself a friend to them in their suffer- 
ings. I endeavored to direct their thoughts to the 
consolations of the Gospel, and cannot but hope, 
that this painful visitation, will be the means of 
drawing them near to God." 

In addition to the particulars here recorded, I have 
the pleasure of introducing an extract of a letter 
from the Rev. Mr. Clark, written in reply to some 
enquiries I had made on the subject. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 173 

" Philadelphia, Jan. 21, 1837. 
" Rev. and Dear Sir, 

" You are aware, I suppose, that Miss Foote was 
not one of my parishioners. My acquaintance with 
her was comparatively slight. I recollect, however, 
being impressed with the idea, that she was a young 
lady of very clear and vigorous intellect, and of deep 
and ardent piety. She had a most benevolent heart, 
and felt, that she ought to make personal efforts, for 
the salvation of those around her. 

" I have a distinct remembrance of the visit to 
which you allude. It w as on Saturday that she called, 
and requested me to go, and see a young man who was 
very ill. I had such engagements upon my hands, 
that I felt strongly tempted to excuse myself. But 
her countenance, at that moment, assumed such an 
imploring aspect — and she spoke so feelingly of the 
ignorance and unpreparedness of the sick man to 
meet his judge, that I felt constrained to throw aside 
all my other engagements, and accompany her quite 
to the other end of the city. I recollect very well 
that this interview was of such a character, as to 
lead me to form the solemn determination, that what- 
ever might be my engagements at any time, they 
should all give way when I was called to visit the 
sick. 

M I presume you have a record of the principal 
15* 



174 MEMOIR OF 

circumstances of this interview, and of the family of 
the young man. It was a scene which I can never 
forget. While I tried to direct the darkened and 
benighted sinner to Christ, Miss Foote, like an an- 
gel of mercy, stood near the bed, the tear occasion- 
ally stealing down her cheek, and her countenance 
plainly indicating, that her heart was lifted up in 
earnest prayer, that the instruction might not be 
lost. 

"As she has now gone to her rest, I am happy to 
learn, that her friends intend to bless the world, by 
recording, what God wrought in her to the praise 
of his glory. 

" Your affectionate brother, 

John A. Clark." 



CHAPTER VIII. 



Blessed result of faithful labors — Review of her past life — De- 
votional exercises — Sickness and death of a beloved sister — 
Poetical tribute to her memory — Visit to Middle Haddam — 
A sister's grave — Removal to Paterson — Favorable circum- 
stances attending the change — Words of comfort to a friend. 

Reference has already been made, to an increase 
of seriousness among the scholars of Miss Foote. 
The desire of her heart was realized. She was per- 
mitted to rejoice over several of them, as the hopeful 
subjects of divine grace. In alluding to what had 
transpired, she says, " It is the power of God's truth, 
made effectual by the operation of his spirit." 
Nothing can be more gratifying to the faithful, con- 
scientious teacher, than to see the blessing of the 
Lord crowning her exertions. She feels a new in- 
centive to prayer, humility, and gratitude. 

It has been the privilege of the writer to converse 
with several, who were pupils of Miss Foote at this 
period. They uniformly speak of her in the most 
grateful and affectionate manner. One of them 
remarked, — " I think it would be impossible for me 
to feel so strong an attachment to any other person." 



176 MEMOIR OF 

Another observed, " though I have not seen her for 
six years, I can never forget her. We all felt that 
she considered it a privilege to impart instruction ; 
and on no subject did she more powerfully touch the 
sensibilities of our hearts, that when adverting to our 
religious obligations. She lived, prayed, and con- 
versed, in view of the eternal world." 

Many recur to the season, in which they were 
connected with her class, as the commencement of 
their religious life. Three of them closed their 
eyes on the things of earth, before their beloved 
teacher ; and now, I trust, are rejoicing with her in 
the blissful presence of God and the Lamb. Nearly 
all. of those who survive, regard her as having been 
the chief instrument employed by God, in conducting 
them from nature's darkness, to the marvellous 
light of the everlasting gospel. May a double por- 
tion of her spirit ever rest upon them. 

A private record, dated April 25, 1831, shows the 
low estimate she formed of her own attainments, 
and how little she saw in herself, that could be 
acceptable to God. 

" I have this day been renewedly impressed with 
the sacredness of my obligations, to live to God and 
to him alone. In view of all that rests upon me, I 
am constrained to cry, Who is sufficient for these 
things ? I feel, most sensibly, my utter helplessness, 
and my constant need of divine grace, to think a 



MRS. TAYLOR. 177 

good thought, or perform a good action. Two years 
have rolled away, since I assumed the vows of the 
everlasting covenant. It is painful to think of the 
many changes, that have transpired. But after a 
few more, if my name is written in the Lamb's 
book of life, I shall be removed to a building not 
made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 

"A review of the past two years, convinces me, 
that I ought to lie low before God. My unprofita- 
bleness in his service, is truly humiliating ; and yet 
pride retains a place in my heart. Oh, my unbelief, 
my blindness. Lord, thou knowest it all ; enable 
me as a poor helpless sinner, to come to Christ, the 
Infinite Fountain, and receive that supply which he 
alone can give. 

" Almighty and everlasting God, I would yield 
myself entirely to thee ; thou hast a right to all. 
Elevate my affections, and fix them upon thyself. 
Shouldst thou leave me to the counselling of my own 
heart, I should dishonor thee, and bring ruin upon 
my soul. Help me to live to thy glory. Keep me 
from whatever is offensive in thy sight ; and let me 
lean upon thy Almighty arm. May I sit with 
humility at the Saviour's feet ; and may the Holy 
Spirit cleanse me from all iniquity. Oh, my Father, 
strengthen me for duty, lead me in the path of holi- 
ness, and accept my imperfect services for the Re- 
deemer's sake." 



178 MEMOIR OF 

" April 28. 

" I have great reason to mourn over my inconsis- 
tency ; — yet, if I know my own heart, I desire to 
be kept from presumptuous sins, and from secret 
faults. How often do vain imaginations interrupt 
my seasons of retirement, and render my devotions 
unprofitable. I clearly perceive that my best per- 
formances are polluted with sin, and need the sancti- 
fying influences of the Holy Spirit. If ever I join 
the circle of the redeemed in a brighter world, how 
wonderful the change ! May I cherish that living 
faith, which purifies the heart, and overcomes the 
world, which is the substance of things hoped for, 
and the evidence of things not seen." 

The last days of her beloved sister drew near. 
Jerusha had so far recovered from her first attack, 
that early in the spring, she came to New York, with 
the hope of joining Sarah in her school. But the 
Lord in his Providence had otherwise ordered. She 
arrived an invalid, and was scarcely able to leave 
her room, during the few weeks, that she remained 
here. These sisters were tenderly attached to each 
other, and nothing seemed wanting to perfect their 
union, but evidence that the younger, had chosen the 
Lord for her portion. She appreciated her sister's 
kindness and solicitude, sought an interest in her 
prayers ; frankly confessing that her heart was 
alienated from God. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 179 

Writing to Sarah, a few months previous, in reply- 
to a former letter, she thus expresses herself: — 
" Your letter was perused with mingled feelings of 
pleasure and remorse ; pleasure at being remembered 
so affectionately by my ever kind sister, and remorse 
for having so long neglected advice, dictated by the 
purest of motives, — -a sincere desire for my future 
welfare, and the glory of that Being, to whom you 
have dedicated yourself for time, and for eternity. 

" Sincerely do I wish, that your feelings were 
mine, that our hearts beat in unison, that we could 
participate in the same pleasures. I am indeed 
alone ; with no friend on earth, to whom I can im- 
part those feelings, which all must have, who, like 
me, have slighted the calls of mercy ; and no friend 
m heaven to whom I can go ; for I have neglected 
to secure that friendship, which I now feel to be of 
infinitely more importance than the wealth of worlds. 
Pray for 'me, dear sister, that I may truly repent, — 
come out from the world, and embrace, with faith, 
that Saviour, through whom alone my sins can be for- 
given, and I be prepared for happiness beyond the 
grave." 

Here was a case, that enlisted all her sympathies. 
The afflicted friend was her sister. The disease was 
evidently gaining ground, and must soon terminate 
her earthly career. Who, with the feelings of a sis- 
ter, and a christian, could be unconcerned ? A few 



180 MEMOIR OF 

lines to one of her friends, express her solicitude on 
the occasion. 

" You know that I have a sister very ill, — in all 
human probability, on the confines of eternity, — you 
believe that the prayer of faith prevails with God. 
Think of the ' value of her priceless soul,' — think of 
her present situation, — and then draw near, with 
boldness, to that throne of grace, to which we may 
have free access, through a Mediator. May you 
find daily, that your ' closet is indeed an awfully 
solemn place.' ' There may you address the Father 
through the Son.' There may you indeed hold sweet 
communion with the Lord our God, and draw down 
the blessings for which you plead." 

The Rev. Mr. Clark was requested to visit Jeru- 
sha. He unfolded, with his accustomed clearness 
and fidelity, the way of salvation through faith in a 
crucified Saviour, and the alarming consequences of 
withholding from the Lord, the affections of the 
heart. He was listened to with every expression of in- 
terest. The patient sufferer felt, that she could no lon- 
ger persevere with impunity, in the neglect of prof- 
fered mercy. She saw the futility of every false hope 
on which she had previously relied, and resolved to 
devote herself, in earnest, to the attainment of those 
things, which belonged to her everlasting peace. 
Sarah spent with her many anxious days, and sleep- 
less nights, but those days were soon numbered, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 181 

though not until she had returned to her paternal 
home, and found peace and joy in believing. 

A letter to Miss S. presents before us the conclu- 
ding scene. It was written from Connecticut ;— 
Sarah having arrived there, a short time before her 
sister's death. 

"Middle Haddam, June 20th, 1831. 

" The conflict is over, my Catharine ; — her spirit 
is disembodied; — without a groan or struggle, she 
left her weeping friends, and her load of sin and 
suffering, and entered, I trust, the presence, the 
blissful presence, of her Saviour. Have you ever 
seen a dear relative die 1 It was a solemn, trying, 
hour. Oh, for entire submission to the righteous 
dispensations of Jehovah ! She said to me last 
night, ' Can you not resign me into the hands of my 
Saviour, and feel happy in doing so ? My bursting 
heart could not, without difficulty, make a reply. 
Previous to this, I had asked, upon whom her 
thoughts chiefly rested? She replied,' my Saviour.' 
How does he appear to you % ' The one altogether 
lovely.' She then requested me to pray with her. 

Two young were present, and mamma, and 

sister H. I was overcome by the request, though I 
had longed to engage in this holy exercise with her, 
once more ; after giving vent to my feelings in tears, I 
knelt by her side, and commended her spirit into the 
hands of her God and Saviour. She kissed me 

16 



182 MEMOIR OF 

good night. Her last words to me this morning 
were, do pray for me once more, — pray with me, 
my sister. To the inquiry respecting the state 
of her mind, she said, ' All is well. I place my trust 
in an all sufficient Saviour.' 

" Can it be, that I shall ever again be unmindful 
of death, and forget that eternity is before me ? 
Will the Lord seal this truth, upon my hardened and 
rebellious heart. Wherever I go, may I bear in 
mind the utter uncertainty of every thing below the 
skies. 

* # # ■ * # * # 

" Our passage across the sound was delightful; — 
as I looked upon the broad expanse of waters, 
brightened by Luna's silver rays, and gazed upon 
the cloudless sky, and then at the foaming wake, 
left by our boat, as the divided current met and pass- 
ed away ; how could I express my emotions ! Oh, 
C, it was a beautiful, a glorious scene. You would 
have admired, and to admiration you would have 
joined adoration. I mused and moralized — looked 
back to childhood's happy days, and then reviewed 
some later periods. — Who could forget a beloved 
sister ? or refrain from asking, shall I no more hear 
her cheerful voice ? no more be welcomed by her to 
my home, after a long absence ? I cannot realize 






MRS. TAYLOR. 183 

it. My mother and sisters, were almost inconsola- 
ble. 

" Remember our afflicted circle, at the twilight 
hour, and oh, at your precious family altar, remem- 
ber her, who would rejoice to kneel with you once 
more. 

" Your own friend, 

Sarah." 

The following lines, written by Miss Foote, soon 
after the death of her sister, disclose the feelings by 
which she was supported on the mournful occasion. 

" She's gone ! nor sighs, nor tears, nor earnest prayer 
Availed, to save from the grim tyrant's power ! 
The heart that lately throbbed so high with feeling, 
No longer hath pulsation, and the eyes 
Which beamed with love so sweetly on us all, 
In death's deep slumber are forever closed. 
Her body tenants now the grave — cold bed 1 
But where's her nobler part— the deathless soul 1 
Is that confined to the dark prison house 1 
Can that which wastes the mortal, there annoy 
The immortal too, with sense of loathsomeness, 
Of foul corruption, and the crawling worm 1 
No, no, the king of terrors dares not claim 
The Spirit as his prey ! The body, frail, 
Enslaved to sin, and subject to disease, 
And pain, and sure decay, is all his own. 
On that the worm may riot ; o'er its bed 



184 MEMOIR OF 

The summer flower may sweetest fragrance breathe, 

Or the drear winter's storm may rudely sweep — 

It boots not to the quiet slumberer there. 

For Christ, death's mighty conqueror, hath burst 

The chains of bondage ! Risen from the grave, 

He hath become the first and glorious fruit 

Of all that sleep, sealing to faith the hope 

That they who sleep in him shall with him rise. 

To such, death has no sting, and the dark grave, 

Drear as it is, no victory can boast. m 

O'er such, though we may weep, we sorrow not 

As those who see no hope beyond ; — for oh ! 

'Tis consolation deep, to feel that, while 

' An angel's hand can't snatch her from the grave, 

1 Legions of angels can't confine her there.' 

We may rejoice, too, in the blessed hope 

That, her frail mortal now put off, she's clothed 

With immortality, and that the song 

Of heaven's pure harps, of which the untiring theme 

Is Jesus' dying love and saving grace, 

Bursts from her lips, and swells her golden lyre. 

A few more evil days, a few more rounds 

Of weary years, and this declining sun 

Will shed bright beams upon our lowly bed, 

And warm to life the flowers that love shall plant 

To deck our graves. Then let us patient wait, 

Until the time of our deliverance comes, 

And then, forever re-united there, 

Where sickness, sorrow, sin, or fear of death, 

Or thought of separation, never comes — 

We'll reign with her — we'll reign with all the host 



MRS. TAYLOR. 185 

Of Christ's redeemed, and, ever at his feet 

Casting our blood-bought crowns, raise high the song — 

* Worthy the Lamb.* 

" June 21st, 1830." 

Though wonderfully sustained in the hour of con- 
flict, she returned to her duties with a heavy heart. 
One after another, had been called away, around 
whom her affections were entwined. Yet she was 
enabled to perceive, and acknowledge, that it was the 
Lord, who had done it. These events led her to an 
anxious enquiry respecting her future course. Her 
great desire was, to be in that sphere, where she 
could most effectully subserve the interests of 
Christ's kingdom. She reflected much on the be- 
nighted condition of heathen nations; — and was 
solicitous to aid in extending the gospel among 
them. 

On a particular occasion, she writes to her friend. 
" Dear C, we may yet be united in closer bonds, in 
a nobler cause, even on missionary ground. I feel 
a desire to live for God, to live so that my conduct 
and conversation shall have a direct tendency to ad- 
vance the cause of Emmanuel. May my example 
be holy, and consistent." 

Alluding to the same subject in another letter, she 
evinces the strong hold it had of her feelings. 

" At our teachers' meeting we sung Heber's Mis- 
sionary Hymn. My ardent feelings rose so high, 
16* 



186 MEMOIR OF 

to enter into the glorious work, that I had to strug- 
gle with them. I can only banish such thoughts, by 
reflecting that I am now, in one sense, on missionary 
ground. Do we fully realize the meaning of the 
words, * Lord, I give myself to thee V 

"July 24, 1831. 

" How easy it is to converse upon a subject, and 
imagine we are willing to do much, when we should 
shrink in the hour of trial. How can I duly feel 
the necessity of self-denial, — prayer, — and continual 
trust, in an ever present, ever strengthening Saviour ! 
"When the millions of perishing heathen were pre- 
sented before me to-day, — the language of my heart 
was, Lord, if an unworthy being, like myself, can do 
any thing to advance their spiritual welfare ; make 
me willing, however great the sacrifice ; banish 
every sinful fear ; and let me count it my highest 
honor, to devote all that has been lent me, and for 
the use, or abuse of which, I am accountable, to thy 
service. 

" This morning, I was gazing upon the solar rays, 
and thinking how powerful they were, when scatter- 
ed ; and yet converge them by means of a lens to a 
focus, and how quickly, he at, and even fire, is elicit- 
ed. So, when our affections are divided between 
religion, and the world, fixed steadily upon no ob- 
ject, our efforts will be fruitless ; but let Christ be 
the centre of attraction, and all our feelings and af- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 187 

fections united in him ; light will be diffused in 
our hearts, our souls will kindle with a holy ardor 
for the promotion of his glory. I desire to love God 
supremely — to exercise childlike confidence in him 
— to call him Father, and to feel so submissive to 
his will, that, under the most afflictive dispensations, 
yes, in gloom, darkness, and distress, I may believe, 
and implicitly trust." 

With the feelings just described, she closed her 
school about the middle of August, to engage, in a 
similar employment, with her friend in Paterson. 
This was a severe struggle to her affectionate heart. 
She loved her scholars, and they were ardently at- 
tached to her. The blessing of Heaven had rested 
on her exertions. But the labors of the school had 
become too exhausting for her strength. She anti- 
cipated decided advantages, from the country air, 
and a division of responsibility. 

The following letter was written after she had 
taken leave of the ' lovely group.' 

"Middle Haddam, Aug. 19, 1831. 
" My dear Catharine, I have been home only a 
few hours. # * My first steps led me to Jerusha's 
grave. Oh ! what unbroken silence reigns around 
her narrow resting place. I was alone, and my 
previously suppressed feelings now had vent. The 
sentences repeated by the Rev. Mr. Jarvis, as we, 



188 MEMOIR OF 

in sad procession, walked the narrow path through" 
the yard, to her grave, sounded loudly in my ears.' 
' 1 am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord ; he* 
that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall 1 
he live ; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me 
shall never die,' &c. The turf, which was so care- 
fully laid over her, is l withered and sear,' — but, no 
doubt, spring will see it green and bright — an em- 
blem faint of the coming season, when she, and all 
who are prisoned in the grave's dark confines, shall 
put on immortality and incorruption." 

" Wednesday, A. M., Aug. 24. 
" Oh dear C, why have you not dispatched a let- 
ter for me. Only think how long, since I have 
heard from you. Though so many things are around 
me to occupy my mind, and so many friends to share 
my attention, yet you are there, and are here. I had 
hardly received a welcome, before I found myself 
saying, if C. was only here, all my enjoyment would 
be more than doubled. When I climb yonder hill, 
and. gaze upon the extensive prospect from its sum- 
mit, I want you at my side to help me admire. 
When I see the ' powerful king of day' first manifest 
the signs of his appearing, and ' rejoicing in the 
east ;' or when at day's decline, I behold him sink- 
ing silently beneath the western horizon, and shed- 
ding forth his milder glories over this rich and va- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 189 

ried landscape ; — then I want you with me to con- 
template ; — and as the twilight hour arrives, to praise 
in heartfelt melody, and to adore, the Author of all; 
— all — that we have now to enjoy, and all that we 
expect to realize, when ' hope is changed to glad 
fruition, faith to sight, and prayer to praise.' 

" Sometimes, I look out of my window at evening, 
when the stillness is unbroken, save by the murmur- 
ing of the gentle stream, that borders our garden ; — 
and oh ! the cloudless sky, and the bright moon, and 
the towering, drooping elm tree, which dear Jeru- 
sha, so much admired ! A view like this is 
enough to drive away sleep — even from such a 
drowsy mortal as your friend. It is enough to raise 
one's thoughts, to that bright world, where dwells 
Infinite Purity ; — where worship the heavenly hosts. 

11 Would not an habitual contemplation of the ho- 
liness of God, have a decidedly practical and deep 
influence upon our whole character? Our own vile- 
ness in his sight, the aggravated nature of our re- 
peated offences, our inability of ourselves to think a 
good thought or perform a good action, our entire 
dependence upon Christ for pardon and acceptance, 
and his preciousness as our only mediator and right- 
eousness ; are some of the abiding views we might 
thus obtain. Would they not lead us scrupulously 
and perseveringly ' to avoid every appearance of 
evil;' and to hunger and thirst after that, which 



190 MEMOIR OF 

will assimilate us to the character of Him, whom 
not having seen, we desire to love ? We profess to 
be christians ; why are we so grovelling 1 Why do 
we so seldom look with the eye of faith, to things 
unseen and eternal % 

" Remember to pray for her, who soon hopes to 
be one with you in your present employment ; and, 
oh, glorious prospect! to be united with you in a/ 
better state of existence. 

"Ever, your Sarah.*'.* s 

" New-York, Sept, 
" Is it not true that christians every where live far, 
very far, below their precious privileges ? Why is 
it, that those, who have enjoyed sweet intercourse 
with the Father of their spirits, ever suffer their 
thoughts and affections to be so engrossed with 
earthly things, as almost to exclude the Saviour from 
their hearts ? 

" In going to church this morning, I thought with 
pleasure of the time, now near, when we shall take 
sweet counsel together and walk to the house of 
God in company. The Lord has been better to me 
than all my fears. May I never forget to praise him 
for his unmerited kindness, Let us pray more and 
more, that he may be glorified in us and by us. 
" In haste, your affectionate 

Sarah." 



MRS. TAYLOR. 191 

The preceding letter was probably the last she 
wrote before removing to New- Jersey. In her new 
situation, she found much that contributed to her 
comfort, and diminished her care. To human ap- 
pearance, she seemed likely to enjoy as great a de- 
gree of happiness, as is usually allotted to the chris- 
tian on this side the grave. 

Several extracts from her letters while at Pater- 
son, will acquaint the reader with the most interest- 
ing circumstances connected with her residence 
there. 

" Paterson, Sept. 26, 1831. 
" Have we not, in the case of your brother, an 
illustration of the truth — [ Man sees not through the 
thin partition of an hour V I can form some idea of 
your feelings, as you watch by his bedside — away 
from those parental friends, whose tender kindness 
can never be supplied, even by the most assiduous 
attention from strangers. I can imagine too, the an- 
guish of your spirit, should your fears concerning 
him be realized. What an unfailing refuge is our 
God ! How sure are his promises ! Whether in 
prosperity, or bowed down with adversity, that per- 
son is blessed, who can leave all in the hands of 
that Being, who is, ' too good to be unkind, too wise 
to err.' May this consolation be yours. And should 
you be called to resign your brother, may you be 



192 MEMOIR OF 

enabled to see the hand of an all wise and merciful 
Parent, who * doth not willingly afflict or grieve.' 
And, however mysterious his dealings appear, may 
you be submissive, and believe that though clouds 
and darkness are round about him, yet righteous- 
ness and judgment are the habitation of his throne. 
May you rejoice that the Lord reigns, and dwell 
with confidence on the thought, he will do right. 

" With regard to my own concerns, blessings flow 
to me in one continued stream. My home is de- 
lightful, — its inmates are a happy little group. Here 
we sit ' under our own vine,' none molesting, or 
making us afraid. x 

" Believe me, as I am in sincerity > your true friend, 

Sarah." 



CHAPTER IX: 



Sanctified afflictions — Renewed ardor in the performance of 

duty — Death regarded as near — Cheerful acquiescence in the 

divine will — Increase of strength — Return to the city — Grati 

• tude for past mercies — Winter spent in retirement — Prepara 

tion for new duties — High estimate of missionary services. 

She, who was ever prompt in administering conso 
lation to others, soon needed it herself. The next 
letter before me, affords no doubtful evidence that 
her health was impaired, and that without the most 
watchful care, her prospect of usefulness would be 
blasted, and her labors on earth terminated, It 
is gratifying, however, to perceive, that her 
spiritual energies did not slumber, that she sought 
the Lord for her refuge, and could calmly repose 
on his everlasting arm, 

" Paterson, Oct. 3j 1831. 
" Detained from the sanctuary yesterday, by in- 
disposition, and prevented from uniting with the 
friends of Christ in commemorating his dying love, 
I was still privileged in the retirement of my own room, 
to plead that He, who is the master of assemblies, 
17 



194 MEMOIR OF 

would condescend to gladden me with his presence, 
— to warm my heart, and enliven my languid feel- 
ings ; by granting me new supplies of that grace, 
without which, I have only a name to live, while 
spiritually dead. 

" The past week was to me, on many accounts, 
one of peculiar interest. Though I felt myself in a 
land of strangers, yet the hope of enjoying christian 
communion in a holy ordinance, gave me pleasure. 
I looked forward with earnest expectation to the 
Lord's day, as a season of refreshing from on high. 

" I endeavored to examine myself, and, superfi- 
cially as the duty was performed, it led me to see 
something of my blindness and guilt. I sought to 
commune with my heart in the watches of the night, 
and asked myself, what progress am I making in 
the way of holiness ? Am I in reality doing any 
thing in the cause of Him, to whom I have publicly 
consecrated all the powers of my soul ? Can I make 
the words of the Psalmist, the language of my heart? 
4 Whom have I in heaven but thee ? and there is 
none upon earth, that I desire besides thee.' 

11 1 had a clearer perception than usual of the at- 
tainments, required of the christian, and of the 
course proper to be pursued ; though I saw much to 
lament in my neglect, or lifeless performance, of 
duty, and in my want of an adequate sense of the 
aggravation of my guilt. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 195 

" Do we, I would appeal to your own conscience, 
walk worthy of our high vocation ? Do we not of- 
ten trifle with our obligations, by living too much 
as though we had no duties to perform for ourselves, 
— our associates, and a world lying in wickedness ? 
Why is it so 1 We know that the course of the 
christian is onward, that he should continually aim 
at an entire conformity to the standard of the gospel. 
These remarks are made from ' the abundance of 
the heart,' would that I could say a ' broken and con- 
trite heart.' 

" While I believe that we ought to ' forget the 
things that are behind,' and that reviews of the past 
can only profit, as they serve to humble us, I would 
ask, shall we not, sensible as we must be of our per- 
fect weakness, set out anew in the strength of 
Christ ? and with the benefit of past experience re- 
solve to be more watchful, and to demean ourselves 
in all respects, as the children of God % 

" Though my health is far from good, yet I have 
so many unmerited comforts, and such freedom from 
the labors and cares, which have hitherto rested 
with their full weight upon me alone, that I have cause 
daily to offer praise and thanksgiving. That God 
may be glorified in us, and by us, shall ever be the 
heartfelt prayer. 

11 Of Sarah." 



196 MEMOIR OF 

The christian never enjoys sweeter consolation 
than when enabled, by the grace of God, to regard 
the dearest objects of earth in subserviency to the 
divine will. It is, as experience abundantly testifies, 
no small attainment, to love strongly without idol- 
izing. Earthly attachments, where the heart is pe- 
culiarly susceptible of the tender emotions, are ever 
liable to withdraw individuals from that single reli- 
ance upon God, so essential to advancement in the 
divine life. Miss Foote often expresses an appre- 
hension lest her affection for her intimate friends, 
though sanctified by religious feeling and principle, 
should keep her from the everlasting fountain of 
truth and holiness. 

Her intercourse with the friend with whom she 
was now associated, was mutually delightful ; yet 
she says, " Perhaps I am in danger of a species of 
idolatry. I frequently think, that such enjoyment as 
is now granted us, cannot be of long continuance. 
But I would have my regard for her, and all who are 
dear to me, controlled by that Spirit, under whose 
dominion, it is my prayer, that all our feelings may 
be brought." 

A further extract from one of her letters unfolds 
the state of mind, with which she engaged in her 
duties, and the deep sense she cherished of her re- 
sponsibility. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 197 

"Paterson, Oct. 10, 1831. 

" Does it rain incessantly in the great city? It 
has poured down here for more than two days. But 
though it is so dreary and comfortless without ; all 
within is bright and cheerful. We are indeed a fa- 
vored little family, and this has been a peculiarly 
pleasant day with us. We rose early, and before 
our minds were filled with care, or engrossed by 
other objects, cast ourselves upon Him, (who has 
said, if any lack wisdom, let them ask of God,) for 
grace and strength to engage in duty with new vigor 
and more faithfulness. Every task has been easy, 
and every duty pleasant. 

" Have you ever thought of the great responsi- 
bility resting upon me, of the number who are daily 
looking to me for instruction, and who will be influ- 
enced by my example, and receive from me abiding 
impressions ? Have you, in connexion with this, 
remembered my inexperience — my liability to be 
influenced by momentary feeling, rather than by per- 
manent and holy principles ? Then you have prayed 
that I may be supported, and made an instrument of 
great good. If I realized, in its true light, the con- 
nexion between my present labors, and eternal reali- 
ties, how could I endure the responsibility ?" 

It is always trying to relinquish scenes, where 

we had fondly hoped to enjoy much happiness. 
17* 



198 MEMOIR OF 

Miss Foote had anticipated great satisfaction from 
mingling in the circle with which she was now con- 
nected. A portion of her former scholars had accom- 
panied her ; and her prospects at the commencement 
fully equalled her anticipations. The situation was 
comparatively retired, and her time seemed more at 
her own command. Her plans were formed, with 
reference to the judgment of the great day ; and eve- 
ry thing arranged in that manner, which would keep 
her heart most effectually alive to divine truth. 

Her seasons for retirement and devotional exer- 
cises were inestimably precious. They raised her 
affections to the Lord, and wonderfully strengthened 
her for the duties of the day. But she almost for- 
got, that the ardor of her soul and the amount of her 
labors, might exhaust her physical energies, and 
shorten that life which she was so anxious to devote 
to the glory of God. 

She continued in her school, until wholly unable 
any longer to perform its duties. Though accus- 
tomed to watch and sympathize with others, when 
they were deprived of health, she was extremely 
solicitous to avoid giving trouble to her friends, and 
only consented to receive their attentions and kind 
offices, when they became indispensable. 

A short notice of the state of her mind during her 
sickness, has been kindly furnished by her friend 
and associate, from a record made at the time. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 199 

"Oct. 18. My dear Sarah's health is seriously- 
impaired. I fear she is not long for this world. She 
seems to be fast ripening for the Paradise of God." 

" Oct. 20. Watched with dear S. last night. We 
had much sweet and solemn conversation. She re- 
marked that, believing the time of her departure 
near, she wished to leave a message for some of 
those friends in whom she had taken a special inte- 
rest. 

" To a band of young ladies, who were engaged 
under her direction, in raising by the avails of their 
needle work, a small sum to educate a young man 
for the ministry, she expressed the hope, that they 
would not neglect the object in view ; for there 
would be no actions of their lives, to which they 
could look back from a bed of sickness, with any 
satisfaction, except such as had for their end the 
glory of God, and the good of souls. She trusted 
that this would be their motive — adding, * There is 
nothing else worth living for.' 

" To my class in the Sunday School, she desired 
me to say, ' that Sunday School instructions, if mis- 
improved, would stand in dreadful array against 
them at the bar of God.' 

" With reference to death, which she considered 
near, she said she had been endeavoring, all day, to 
set her house in order. When she first contempla- 
ted it, as at hand, she felt a reluctance to die ; but 



200 MEMOIR OF 

now, she could look forward to it as a sweet release 
from the bondage of sin, and an admission to eternal 
glory. ■ How delightful/ she said, ' to think of that 
progression in knowledge and holiness, which, the 
saint in heaven is permitted to make. This contem- 
plation at times fills my soul with joy unutterable." 9 
She revived from this severe attack, and not long 
after wrote a few lines to a friend. 

"Oct. 1831. 

" Recently I have thought that my continuance 
here would be very short. Though the ties which 
bind me to earth are strong, yet my great desire is 
to cast myself unreservedly upon Him, * who is able 
and willing to keep the trust committed to him, until 
the last great day.' When I think of death and the 
grave, the glories of the unseen world are at times 
so presented to the eye of faith, as to exclude all 
the terrors of the * dark valley.' Since the com- 
mencement of my ill health, I have prayed for entire 
submission to the will of my heavenly Father, and 
rather desired, that this light affliction might be 
sanctified, than removed. 

" During a season of peculiar agony, I found it in 
my heart to say, ' Father, if it be possible, let this 
cup pass from me,' but I trust I added with equal 
sincerity, ' not my will but thine be done.' Will you 
not pray that the life God sees fit to prolong, and the 



MRS. TAYLOR, 201 

health he seems willing to restore, may be devoted 
to his honor and glory? My life hitherto has been 
full of mercies. I have been almost a stranger to 
afflictive dispensations. Should the Lord order 
that the remainder of my pilgrimage be attended 
with trials and sufferings ; if they only work out for 
me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 
I shall ever have reason to regard them as blessings. 

" Of one thing I am sure, if kindness and atten- 
tion will make me well, I shall soon be in perfect 
health. My dear scholars are continually sending 
me tokens of remembrance. How mercifully all 
my wants are supplied. May my heart ever be fill- 
ed with gratitude." 

Though all apprehension of immediate danger 
was removed, Miss Foote was unable to resume her 
duties. Her physician expressed the opinion, that 
it would be imprudent for her to engage in teaching 
during the winter. This advice, with the approba- 
tion of her friends, induced her, in November to re- 
turn to New- York. She was less fatigued by the 
journey than might reasonably have been expected. 
Her eldest sister, Mary, had taken charge of the 
school in the city which she left, when she went 
to Paterson. The two sisters now became inmates 
in the same family. The elder felt it a privilege as 
well as a duty, to promote the comfort of the youn- 



202 MEMOIR OF 

ger. They passed the winter very pleasantly toge- 
ther. 

To persons of active habits, who delight in exert- 
ing themselves for the benefit of others, it is no small 
trial to be confined to the house, and apparently ex- 
cluded from the most important spheres of benevo- 
lent action. But when they can realize, that it is an 
allotment of their Heavenly Father, designed to aid 
them in living above the world, and preparing for an 
eternal state of existence, they submit, without repi- 
ning, and feel a comforting assurance, that the Lord 
will do all things right. 

On the 30th of November, Miss Foote wrote 
from New York, to her sister H., at Middle Had- 
dam, giving expression to the grateful emotions of 
her heart, for the numerous kind offices, she had re- 
ceived from her friends. She spoke in an affecting 
manner of the merciful goodness of the Lord. He 
had drawn near to her in the hours of suffering, and 
enabled her to stay her affections upon him. 

" I often think that no person on earth was ever 
provided for so comfortably. My friends spared no 
sacrifices. I have been very ill, and in daily ex- 
pectation of making an exchange of worlds ; yet in 
the midst of great bodily distress, I had no inclina- 
tion to murmur. God appeared merciful in all his 
ways ; and my communion with him was sweet. 

11 1 wanted to see you all once more. Every other 



MRS. TAYLOR. 203 

wish of my heart seemed to be gratified. I am now- 
much better, but very weak. If I could comfortably 
cross the Sound, you would quickly see me. But I 
fear the consequences of the eastern air, at this sea- 
son. Has the snow covered Jerusha's grave 1 And 
do you go there, as often as ever ? It was my de- 
sire to be laid by her side ; to rest among my own 
kindred, and to mingle with my native dust. But I 
did not expect it, and, considering my distance 
from you, could not wish it; though when I recurred 
to my friends, the thought was a pleasant one. 
" Your ever affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 

Miss Foote commenced the year 1832, feeling 
deeply conscious of the uncertainty that attended all 
her earthly prospects. The last year she had closed 
the eyes of a beloved sister in death ; for a consider- 
able time, she seemed herself at the point to die ! 
How could she think of forming plans for the future ? 
Unable to go to the sanctuary, and mingle her voice 
in its hallowed services ; she directed her thoughts 
to that house of God, not made with hands, eternal 
in the heavens ; and to the ennobling employment 
of those, who magnify the riches of redeeming 
grace, singing the song of Moses and the Lamb. 

In the seclusion of her apartment, her affections 
rose to God, she dwelt on his infinite and exalted 



204 MEMOIR OF 

perfections, and retraced his dealings with her, 
through the short span of her pilgrimage. By these 
reviews and meditations, her faith was strengthened. 
This period seemed to be a season of quiet and re- 
pose, mercifully allotted her> to prepare for the new 
duties on which she was to enter. A few lines 
written to her friend, may convey some idea of the 
general state of her mind, 

" Jan. 22, P. M, 
" All alone, dear C, in my room. Were you 
here, we might once more enjoy a season similar to 
those we frequently knew, when permitted, in union 
of heart and desire, to make our requests known un- 
to Him, who has said, * Ask what ye will, in my 
name, and it shall be given you.' Are you still de- 
sponding? We do, dear C, deserve judgments, — 
but in reviewing the past, how manifold have been 
our mercies ! With reference to the future, oh, let 
us plead still more earnestly, to be enabled to leave 
it all with God, and meekly bow to his holy will. 
Who, that has known the privilege of seeking direc- 
tion, and gaining all needful supplies from a Heavenly 
Parent, can ever think of resorting to other sources ? 
" I desire to love God supremely, to have every 
idol in my heart dethroned, and to live a life of faith 
in the Son of God. Why this intrusion of worldly 
thoughts, this regard for the opinions and remarks of 



MRS. TAYLOR. 205 

others ? May I but know c my God is mine ;' and, 
with that confidence, which every christian is at all 
times privileged to exercise, say, Abba, Father ; 
what more can I desire ? Neither the smiles, nor 
the frowns of the world, would then interrupt my en- 
joyment. 

"While I was reflecting upon this subject, yester- 
day, the course of Mrs. Judson rose to my recollec* 
tion. What an example she set of disregard to self! 
What an ascendency she gained over the flesh, with 
its affections and lusts ! We may pursue a similar 
course, and through faith in Christ, obtain a victory 
over our besetting sins. But we must be watchful, 
constant in prayer, active in duty,— in a word, self- 
denying. 
" Ever your affectionate and interested friend, 

Sarah L ." 

Our next intelligence from her, gives additional 
evidence of returning strength, and a heart profitably 
affected by the sufferings she had experienced. 

"Feb. 19, 1832. 

" My dear sister, 

"You will rejoice at the improvement of my 

health. Yesterday I went out of doors for the first 

time this winter, and walked a short distance. I still 

find great difficulty in going up stairs ; and begin to 
18 



206 MEMOIR OF 

be somewhat sensible, how extremely ill I have been ; 
and how thankful I ought to be, for restoring mer- 
cies. If it is true that afflictions have a most pow- 
erful effect upon the heart, how earnestly should 
those, ' who are exercised thereby,' pray that they 
may be sanctified. 

" The greater part of the time, during my sickness, 
I felt resigned to the will of God, and willing to die. 
My mind went forward to future days ; and I asked 
myself, shall I probably ever have less to bind me to 
the world ? fewer ties to be sundered ? or be more 
willing to enter upon another state of existence? 
But one answer was returned to all these enquiries, 
and yet, at times, I had a desire to live. Why was 
it ? I well knew that there is no substantial good 
here, — and that to depart, and be with Christ, is far, 
far better. I trusted that the world would never 
again hold that place in my affections, which it had 
hitherto occupied. Very soon experience proved, 
that I knew not ' what manner of spirit I was of.' I 
saw that my heart still enthroned idols, and that my 
soul was cleaving to the dust. 

" Pray for me, that I may be preserved from an 
undue attachment to any of the objects of time, and 
live habitually in view of that day, when Jesus shall 
appear, to judge the quick and the dead. 

" Your affectionate sister, 

Sarah Louisa." 



MRS. TAYLOR. 207 

Who can fail to see the need of constant watch- 
fulness and increasing prayer, lest the affections be 
withdrawn from the Lord, and placed upon inferior 
objects? After the christian has enjoyed great fre- 
dom of access to the throne of grace, and seemed to 
live on heavenly food, how often is he constrained 
to acknowledge, that his enjoyment is diminished, 
and in some instances, his peace destroyed, by 
leaning too much on an earthly arm ! Though he 
knows in whom he has trusted, and where his great 
strength lies, how often does a deceitful heart turn 
him aside, and render him unfruitful in the vineyard 
of the Lord. When placed on the dubious confines 
of two worlds, ' suspended almost in mid air,' uncer- 
tain, whether he shall be let down to earth, or raised 
up to heaven, how great appears the contrast, be- 
tween the vanities of the former, and the glories of 
the latter ! He thinks that it cannot be possible, 
he shall ever forget the glowing views, which fill the 
prospect before him ; or that, he can live, should his 
days be prolonged, without unceasingly meditating on 
that rest, reserved for the people of God. Would 
that his subsequent experience always verified these 
convictions ; that, on recovering from a dangerous 
illness, his vows were faithfully performed. 

The only remedy against the world's ensnaring 
power, is found in the grace of the gospel. To this, 
the subject of our memoir resorted ; and she could 



208 MEMOIR OF 

truly testify that, she was never sent empty away. 
She had many trials, but the Lord was with her, and 
conducted her, by a way she had not anticipated, to 
her journey's end. 

In tracing her onward path, few materials are fur- 
nished by her own pen ; yet sufficient it is hoped, to 
testify of the grace by which she was sustained, and 
the sanctifying power, and comforting influence of 
the Holy Ghost. 

"Feb. 22, 1832. 

" Is there a heaven, dear Catharine ? And is it 
true, that if once admitted there, we shall not only 
participate in joys of which we cannot now fully 
conceive; but that we shall be forever free, from 
every approach of sin, — that we shall be holy? Can 
this be true, and we still cling to life, — with the con- 
tinuance of its struggles, and its conflicts % 

" We live in a period when all christians, — even 
those of the weakest capacity, and the most limited 
influence, may do something, yes very much, for the 
cause of God, and the salvation of perishing souls. 
We have become so accustomed to the great truths, 
which are continually reiterated in our hearing, that 
we do not suitably reflect upon them. 

" Have you read the recent letters from Robertson, 
Hill, and King, in Greece, and from Brewer, in Tur- 
key. When perusing such accounts, unless I am 
greatly deceived I feel, that it would be the noblest 



MRS. TAYLOR. 209 

privilege that can be enjoyed on earth, to engage, 
like these devoted servants of God, in teaching, 
the ignorant, and benighted. In comparison with 
their situation, cheerless as it is in many respects, — 
and self-denying as they must live, what has earth 
to offer ? I know of no employment so desirable as 
that of a faithful missionary of the humble Jesus. 

" Lately, I have heard much said, against the 
ostentatious expressions of some, who were candi- 
dates for this noble work, but ignorant in a great de- 
gree of its nature, and of the duties and dispositions 
it requires. It does not become those, who are pre- 
paring for the field, to speak, as if they had already 
won its laurels. The loudest in profession are often 
the feeblest in action. You will understand my 
meaning. I love to see the manifestation of a mis- 
sionary spirit, but I think this may be done practi- 
cally in our families. Surely to think much of those 
far distant, not too far, however, (if the case be pos- 
sible,) to be assisted by our charities, or strengthened 
by our prayers, has a tendency to overcome our sel- 
fish feelings, and to enlist those sympathies, the 
exercise of which, is beneficial to ourselves as well 
as others. 

" Believe me, now, as ever, your affectionate 

Sarah." 
18* 



CHAPTER X. 



Marriage — Solicitude for divine guidance — Cholera — Death of 
Mrs. Tillotson — Adopted daughter — Family of the christian 
—Vicissitudes of life — Commencement of the author's ac- 
quaintance with Mrs. Taylor. 

The reference, in the preceding letter, to what 
may be done in families for the promotion of the 
missionary enterprise, will remind the reader, that 
the thoughts of Miss Foote were directed to the 
duties of those who preside over the domestic circle, 
and produce a willingness to accompany her, in the 
new relation upon which she was preparing to enter. 
On the 7th of April, she was married to Mr. John 
S. Taylor, of this city, and on the first of May com- 
menced house-keeping. 

' From the conscientious manner in which she had 
hitherto performed all her duties, we naturally ex- 
pect that her future course will reflect credit on any 
station she may fill. She had been in the school of 
affliction, and evidently taught of God. Her principles 
of action were fixed on a basis too firm to be shaken. 
She had no desire, but to rive for the divine glory. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 211 

Alluding to the contemplated change in her condi- 
tion, several months before it took place, she said, 
"I fear not temporal evils, — my prayer to God is, 
give us thy blessing, which maketh rich, and addeth 
no sorrow. If we are numbered among those, who 
walk not after the fleshy but after the spirit, all will 
be well." 

She could not assume her new responsibilities 
without devout supplication, that she might at all 
times rely upon an everlasting arm. Fully con- 
scious of her entire dependence ; she earnestly en- 
deavored to live, each day, in view of the awful cir- 
cumstances attending her final account. Her recent 
sickness, and present occasional suffering, taught 
her, that she could not anticipate a long residence 
on earth ; that she must be diligent while the day 
lasted, for soon the sun of her pilgrimage would go 
down. Writing to her sister, she refers to the time 
of her union, and glances forward to the period, 
when that, and all other earthly relations would cease. 

" I hope I may never forget the solemnities of that 
hour. It is not a light thing to take such vows and 
obligations upon one's self. 

"My health is in every respect improving, though 
I am very far from being well, and am confident that 
a slight thing would lay me again upon a bed of sick- 
ness. 

"I am in' the hands of a kind and ever watchful 



212 MEMOIR OF 

Parent, and desire to be resigned to whatever he 
shall choose for me. — Do you not think it strange 
that we ever shrink from death, the necessary pre- 
lude to eternal blessedness? If that blessedness 
consists in being admitted into the presence of God 
and the Lamb, should we not rejoice in view of it? 
and welcome the hour which gives us a passport 
thither?" 

In July she had the satisfaction of again visiting 
her parental home ; a privilege, which, for a long 
time, she never expected to enjoy. Her song was 
still of mercy. She recounted to her relatives the 
conflicts through which the Lord had carried her ; 
dwelling with especial interest on the consolations 
of his grace. Her close view of the eternal world, 
had changed the aspect of surrounding objects. — She 
felt that she was indeed a pilgrim upon earth, and, 
that, whether her days here, were few or many, 
they should all be given to the Lord. 

In this beloved domestic circle, time passed plea- 
santly away; she was cheered, refreshed, and 
strengthened ; and would have prolonged her stay 
but for a Providential dispensation, which awakened 
painful solicitude through the length and breadth of 
our land. The cholera was already making its rava- 
ges in New-York. — A large number had fallen vic- 
tims, and no human foresight could predict when its 
work would be completed. The desire to spend the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 213 

summer with her connexions, would be increased, 
on account of the danger attending a return to the 
city. But there were other feelings more powerful, 
which influenced her determination. Circumstances 
rendered it necessary for her husband to remain in 
New- York. Knowing the danger to which he 
would be exposed, she thought not of her own health 
or comfort ; but made arrangements for an immedi- 
ate return. "As the boat drew near the city" she 
says, " instead of the usual bustle and din of busi- 
ness, a scene of desolation was presented, the 
wharves and streets seemed to be deserted. — It made 
my heart sicken ; until 1 reached home, and found 
all as when I left them. I then felt calm again, and 
have suffered far less from anxiety than I did in 
Middle Haddam. 

" You will perceive from the papers, that the 
disease is advancing rapidly in every quarter. On 
Friday there were 311 new cases reported, and 104 
deaths. Never was there such a time known here. 
May the Great Ruler and Disposer of events, in 
mercy grant, that this season of severe visitation be 
shortened, — the sword of the destroying angel stayed, 
and health restored to our afflicted country." 

Many will long remember the suffering produced 
by this afflictive visitation. He must be a stranger 
to the sorrows of the destitute and the orphan, who 
has not often heard the affecting statement ; " My 



214 MEMOIR OF 

mother died of the cholera." Mrs. Taylor was mer- 
cifully preserved. But before the disease had ceased 
its ravages, it became her painful duty to watch by 
the dying bed of a long tried friend and relative. — 
Her strong attachment to Mr. and Mrs. Tillotson has 
already been mentioned.* Her grief at the death of 
Mr. T. was like that of a child, at the loss of a 
beloved parent. Mrs. T. assumed the obligations of 
the Christian covenant on the same day with herself. 
They were much together, and each cherished for 
the other a warm and affectionate regard. The 
youngest child of Mrs. Tillotson bore the name of 
her cousin, Sarah L. — Both mother and child were 
attacked by this fatal disease about the same time, 
and for several days seemed equally on the borders 
of the eternal world. The child survived, while the 
spirit of the mother returned to God, who gave it. 
Mrs. T. in writing to Middle Haddam, thus alludes 
to the mournful event. 

"Sept. 10, 1832. 
" My dear friends, 

" Be not surprised at the unexpected appearance 
of this 1 We are both well to-day — but, to-morrow 
we may be in our graves. — Our dear cousin Mary is 
reunited to her long mourned husband; and her 
children are orphans indeed. She spent an after- 
* See page 38. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 215 

noon with me a few days since, and took Sarah with 
her. Her health had not been so good for months. 
On Thursday she was taken sick, and Saturday 
afternoon breathed her last. Sarah lay on the same 
bed, apparently dying. I cannot describe their ap- 
pearance or sufferings. I have heard of distressing 
scenes that made my heart ache ; but my own eyes 
have seen more than I can tell you. May the Lord 
help us to cast ourselves upon him, and to live in a 
constant preparation for our great change. 

11 You may depend upon hearing again soon^ 
from your affectionate, 

Sarah." 

It devolved upon Mrs. Taylor to close the eyes of 
her cousin in death, to receive her last message, and 
to be entrusted with the care of the dear child who 
bore her name. On the 14th day of Sept., the ten- 
der orphan, then about four years and a half old, was 
received at her new home, and admitted to all the 
privileges of a daughter. Mrs. T. was ardently 
attached to her, and omitted no efforts to train her up 
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The 
little child seemed to her as a connecting link 
between the living, and the dead. In a letter bear- 
ing date the 6th of December, she remarks, " When 
I look at Sarah, I feel that she is one of the strong- 
est ties which bind me to earth. Besides my love 



216 MEMOIR OF 

for her, I have a kind of unaccountable feeling, 
mingled with the remembrance of her departed 
parents. May she be the Lord's forever.'' 

Mrs. Taylor habitually realized the importance of 
presenting such an example before the members of 
her family, as to recommend the religion of Jesus. 
She knew its transforming power and heavenly con- 
solation, and was desirous, that others also, should be 
enabled to testify, from heartfelt experience, that the 
Lord was good and gracious, that his loving kindness 
was extended to all the works of his hands. She 
delighted to contemplate the family of the Christian 
on earth as an emblem, faint indeed, of the family 
of the Redeemed in heaven. Unless the lineaments 
of the Saviour's character were impressed on the 
soul, she was persuaded, there could be no perma- 
nent, substantial enjoyment. 

All with whom she was associated were borne on 
her heart, when she bowed before the Lord in sup- 
plication. Often would she return from her private 
devotions, deeply penetrated with the consciousness 
of the presence of Him, whom mortal eye hath 
never seen. She knew what it was to be alone with 
her God, and derived from this hallowed intercourse 
strength to perform the duties of the day. No per- 
son could long be an inmate of her family, without 
feeling an assurance, that her heart was the resi- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 217 

dence of the Holy Spirit, and that it was her great- 
est pleasure to do the will of her Heavenly Father, 
In the summer of 1833, Mrs. Taylor had the 
pleasure of introducing her children to her parents, 
and passing several months at their beloved home. 
Grateful as this was to her feelings, she was con- 
tinually reminded, by reflecting on the past and the 
present, that her hold on terrestrial things was feeble. 
She had frequently seen her fondly cherished plans 
frustrated, and was admonished to live in constant 
readiness for another world. The vicissitudes of life 
forcibly taught her, that, "those build too low who 
build beneath the skies." Thus God, by a species 
of moral discipline, carries on the work of grace in 
the hearts of his children, and makes their sufferings 
an important means of preparing them for future 
glory. An extract from a letter to an afflicted friend, 
will show the state of her mind at this time. 

To Mrs. C. T. 
" Middle Haddam, Aug. 6, 1833. 
" My dear Catharine, 

" You will see from the date of this, that I am 
once more at my own dear home, among ' friends 
beloved.' Every thing here is as pleasant as ever ; 
my friends are unwearied in their efforts to enter- 
tain and show kindness, — but all is changed. I 
look around and see the same lovely landscape, 
19 



218 MEMOIR OF 

gilded by the same sun, and enlivened by the same 
beautiful river,— yet as I gaze, my mind will invol- 
untarily recur to the past, — my heart rises, and deep 
sighs relieve my aching breast. I am a mere skele- 
ton. But it is all right. I can see the Lord's doings 
in these changes ; and bless his name for these af- 
flictions. You know it is only ' through much tribu- 
lation, that we can enter the kingdom of heaven.' 

" Little Sarah is a comfort to me. Pray for me, 
that I may have that grace and wisdom, which I 
need, to train up my children for the Lord. My re- 
ligious enjoyment, is just in proportion to the time I 
spend in communion with God. 

" When that < faith, which works by love, puri- 
fies the heart, and overcomes the world,' is in vigor- 
ous exercise, we may exclaim, (not because our 
streams of earthly comfort have failed, but because 
eternal things rise above all the joys of earth,) how 
empty, how unsatisfying, are all things here below ! 

" I rejoice, that in your bereavement, you have 
that consolation, which the world cannot give. May 
you have much of the presence of Him, whom, not 
having seen, you love, — may you go on from grace 
to grace, until grace is perfected in glory. 

" Your affectionate friend, 

Sarah." 

Mrs. Taylor returned to the city with renovated 



MRS. TAYLOR 219 

health, and actively engaged in all the duties of her 
station. Her exertions for the benefit of others, 
were not confined to the domestic circle. When 
time and health would permit, she was a frequent 
and welcome visiter to the abode of sickness and 
suffering, and by her winning and persuasive man- 
ner, directed the thoughts of the afflicted to the rest, 
reserved for the people of God. 

My acquaintance with her, commenced in the lat- 
ter part of this year, under circumstances, which 
made a strong impression on my mind, and clearly 
developed some of the lovely traits of her character. 
In September, I removed to the vicinity of her resi- 
dence, and within a short period, several members of 
my family were visited with sickness, and brought 
to tjie borders of the grave. Mrs. Taylor's kindness 
and sympathy greatly endeared her to the sufferers, 
and was the means of cementing a friendship termi- 
nating only with life. The recollection of those in- 
terviews cannot easily be effaced. Her whole 
countenance beamed with benevolent feelings. It 
was impossible to be much in her society, without 
the sure conviction, that her piety was of an unusually 
elevated character. When the subject of religion 
was introduced, she spoke from the deep fountains 
of her soul. Her remarks were happy and perti- 
nent. She knew how to adapt herself to circum- 
stances, and to turn the facilities she enjoyed for 



220 MEMOIR OF 

doing good, to the best advantage. Whatever per- 
tained to the extension of the gospel enlisted her 
sympathies, and called forth her energies. You 
felt, while conversing with her, on this and kindred 
subjects, that you were communing with a spirit, 
that had a high relish for communion with God, and 
whose daily prayer was for the advancement of his 
glory, and the salvation of souls. Piety with her 
was a deep-seated principle. Its influence was seen 
in all the employments and vicissitudes of life. 

Distinguished as she was by errands of mercy, 
for the comfort and relief of the distressed ; 
her christian graces shone with equal lustre, when 
the hand of affliction pressed heavily upon her, and 
offices of kindness were rendered by others. A 
great portion of the remainder of her life was spent 
in suffering ; yet a repining word was never known 
to escape from her lips. Her eye was fixed on her 
eternal home, and though for a little while its vision 
might be obscured for the trial of her faith, she 
evinced, under all circumstances, an humble acqui- 
escence in the will of God, and a cheerful reliance 
on the merits of the Saviour. 



CHAPTER XI. 

Severe illness — Consolations of the gospel — Importance of ma- 
ternal duties — Care of a family relinquished — Temporary 
separation from her children — Journey to Philadelphia — Sum- 
mer residence in New-Jersey — Correspondence — Advice to 
a candidate for the ministry — Continued indisposition — Trust 
in God. 

The incidents of 1834, in the life of Mrs. T., were 
comparatively few. She presented an interesting 
example of patient endurance, in the midst of much 
affliction. But her personal sufferings did not di- 
vert her mind from the interests of the church of 
God. She rejoiced in every instance of the display 
of divine grace, whether in our own land, or among 
distant nations. Rarely, would she speak of herself 
except to a few of her most intimate friends. Her 
prevailing desire, apparent at all times, was to do 
the work appointed for her, by her Heavenly Father. 
In the performance of her daily duties, she almost 
forgot that exhausted nature needed repose. She 
thought not of favoring herself, nor of the limits to 
human exertion, but considering every moment pre- 
cious, passed from one sphere of action to another, 
determined to spare no efforts for promoting the 
19* 



222 MEMOIR OF 

comfort of her family, or for guiding the minds of 
her children in God's holy ways. With a constitu- 
tion enfeebled, a relief from care was indispensable. 
She yielded to the entreaty of others, and made trial 
of a change of air. The effect was salutary ; and 
induced her to cherish the hope, that all unfavorable 
symptoms were removed. Much as her friends de- 
sired to arrive at the same conclusion, they were 
constrained to take a less favorable view of the state 
of her health. The subsequent winter showed, that 
their fears were well founded. Disease, in its in- 
sidious forms, had too firmly lodged itself in her sys- 
tem, to yield to the ordinary remedies. The patient 
sufferer became sensible of the fact, and felt that she 
might soon be summoned to leave her frail tenement. 
Her mind was raised above the joys and employ- 
ments of earth, — her faith in the promises gathered 
fresh strength, — her conversation was spiritual and 
edifying. 

It was the privilege of the writer, to visit her re- 
peatedly at this period. She seemed to him, like 
one whom the Lord had carried through deep wa- 
ters, yet they had not overflowed her. Her room n 
was cheered by a holy radiance. The transient ob- 
server could not but remark, that she was prepared 
for any vicissitude. Life and its enjoyments pre- 
sented few attractions. The light of another world 
had shone into her apartment, and communicated its 



MRS. TAYLOR. 223 

cheering influences to her soul. Knowing that her 
home was beyond the bounds of earth, she could not 
cherish a strong desire to continue here. She 
sought continually to be prepared to enter that, city, 
which hath foundations, whose builder is the Lord 
our God ; and spoke in the most humble and affect- 
ing manner of the sustaining influence of divine grace. 
" The Lord," she says, " has been with me, and sus- 
tained my soul through the whole of my sickness. 
Why should I desire to live, if he should think 
proper to remove me hence 7 My heart has often 
wandered from him ; and I see within me great need 
of contrition of soul, and an humble trust in the all- 
sufficiency of the Saviour." 

Being asked if she had enjoyed communion with 
God, she said, " I have had many precious seasons ; 
and felt willing to leave my dearest interests in the 
Lord's hand, rejoicing that they are at his disposal. 
How could I be otherwise than resigned and happy, 
when I thought of what Jesus had endured for me ?" 
It being suggested, that his sympathy in our con- 
flicts and sufferings, was a rich source of comfort, 
she broke forth with peculiar animation, " Oh, yes ! 
the thought, that he, who was equal with the Father, 
and possessed of every perfection, should humble 
himself to assume our nature, and be moved with a 
sense of our infirmities, is almost too much for hu- 
man conception. It gives us such elevated views 



224 MEMOIR OF 

of the surpassing riches of divine grace, that we are 
lost in the contemplation. Could we suitably realize 
all that has been done to procure our salvation, every 
day would be spent to the glory of God. 

" The world appears very different when eternity 
is bursting upon our view, from what it does, when 
we are engaged in the usual pursuits of life. It is 
in hours like these, we perceive the inestimable 
value of the gospel. What cheering hope! what 
ardent love ! what holy confidence ! it inspires. Can 
any thing be more refreshing, than to feel in the 
time of our greatest sufferings, that, the Lord is by our 
side, that he will never forsake us ?" 

On another occasion, when she had acquired suf- 
ficient strength to walk about trie room, her attention 
being arrested by the beauties of the firmament, she 
remarked, " If the sun in trr's lower world, shines 
forth so gloriously, how exalted must be the privi- 
lege to behold the ineffable glories of the sun of 
righteousness. May we not look forward with joy, 
to the time, when this mortal shall put on immortality, 
and death be swallowed up in life. What a life, that 
must be, in which the Saviour is eternally present ; 
when all sorrow shall be removed, and tears be 
wiped from every eye ! Who would not rejoice in 
these afflictions, which aid in preparing for so bliss- 
ful a state ?" 

By the advice of her physician, on the first of May, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 225 

three years after she first took her place as the head 
of a family, she relinquished it, and passed the re- 
maining portion of her life with some of her friends. 
This change was attended with much sacrifice of 
feeling, more especially on account of her children. 
She knew the value of a mother's counsel, and the 
throbbings of a mother's heart. Children may be 
with others who love them, who are anxious to sup- 
ply their recurring wants ; but none can supply the 
place of a christian mother. Her feelings cannot be 
transferred to other hearts. Her solicitude cannot 
be awakened in other breasts. Remove the mother 
from the child, and you remove the dearest earthly 
friend ; you break the strongest hold upon the infant 
mind. Kindness and sympathy may be manifested 
by others, — real affection may exist, may be fondly 
cherished; but the ardent promptings, the yearning 
anxiety, the personal sacrifices, the sleepless nights, 
of the mother, will be wanting. 

Mrs. T. was admirably qualified by nature and 
education, for the performance of a mother's duties. 
Her tender sensibility, quick perception, and dis- 
criminating judgment, enabled her to act with dis- 
cretion, and to accomplish, with unusual ease, the 
object she had in view. Above all, the great con- 
trolling principle of her life, love to God, and a re- 
gard for his requirements, eminently prepared her for 
every sphere of action, and to bow submissive to 



226 MEMOIR OF 

every allotment of Providence. In the midst of tri- 
als, she could say, "It is the Lord, let him do what 
seemeth to him good." " He presides over all our 
deliberations, and will restore health, or remove to 
the other world, as shall be most conformable to the 
purposes of Infinite Wisdom. What are we, that 
we should reply against his visitations, or desire to 
stay his uplifted arm V 9 

She passed several weeks, in May, at Phila- 
delphia. The journey was considered beneficial. 
She greatly enjoyed the interview with christian 
friends there ; and seemed almost to forget that she 
was an invalid. Hope whispered, that with prudent 
care, she might resume her maternal duties, and 
have the satisfaction of seeing her beloved children, 
reared by her side. To those around her a far dif- 
ferent train of thought was suggested. They saw 
the flush in her cheek, her oppressed respiration, 
and how entirely prostrate, a small effort would often 
leave her. Their kind assiduities were cheerfully 
rendered to promote her comfort. Philadelphia was 
associated in her mind, with the recollection of those, 
who acted a mother's and a sister's part. Shortly 
after her return, she visited her children, (who were 
taken to Conn, the last of April,) with the intention 
of spending the summer with them. But her dis- 
ease assuming a more unfavorable appearance it be- 
came evident, that a milder air was essential to the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 227 

preservation of her life. Orange, in New Jersey, 
was selected as affording a pleasant retreat, in the 
vicinity of the city. She was conveyed there the 
29th of June. 

It is painful to think of a sufferer going from place 
to place, in pursuit of health, and disease steadily 
advancing. Yet these afflictions, while they show, 
in a touching light, the consequences of sin : when 
sanctified by divine grace, exhibit those who endure 
them, in an attitude of peculiar interest. " Religion is 
most powerful in affliction. It is powerful, because 
it shows that even affliction itself, can make man 
nobler than he was ; and that there is a gracious 
eye that marks the conflict, and is ever ready to 
smile with more than approbation on the victor. To 
the indigent, to the oppressed, to the diseased, 
while life has still a single sorrow to be borne, it 
flings on the short twilight, a portion of the splendor 
of that immortality into which it is almost dawning ; 
and when life is closing, it is itself the first joy of 
that immortality which begins." 

A few extracts from Mrs. Taylor's correspondence, 
will illustrate this sentiment. 

To Mrs. A. D. S., Colchester, Conn. 

"Orange, July 1,1835. 
" My ever dear friend, 

11 It seems to me a long while since we exchanged 



228 MEMOIR OF 

the parting salutation ; and time, my dear Rebecca, 
as he has made his repeated circuits, has written 
many pages in the volume of my experience, which 
were then blank. I have been repeatedly on the 
borders of another world, — and supposed that eter- 
nity and its realities, w r ere opening before me. 

" Do you ask how I felt in view of these things ? 
I saw nothing of the gloom of the ' dark valley.' 
Only the brightness and glory of the world beyond, 
rose to my view. I was ready continually to sing, 

1 Oh, glorious hour ! oh, blessed abode !' &c. 

" But the Lord restored me to a comfortable de- 
gree of health. I had previously been obliged to 
give up my children, housekeeping, and every care. 
My physician said,' my case was hopeless, unless I 
would relinquish all these, and travel whenever my 
strength would allow.' We went to Philadelphia the 
last of May. I had a very pleasant visit, and felt so 
much benefited, that immediately after my return, I 
proceeded to Conn, to see my children ; but found 
myself too feeble to inhale the pure air of my native 
hills without injury. My health continuing to fail, I 
took a hasty leave, and returned to the city. I 
fainted at every attempt to exert myself, — until my 
arrival here. You will perceive from the trembling 
of my hand in writing, that I am still feeble. Were 
you to meet me unexpectedly, you would not recog- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 229 

nize me. Sickness has changed my whole appear- 
ance. Will you not pray for me, dear R., that these 
repeated chastenings of my Heavenly Father may 
be truly sanctified to me ; that these warnings may 
lead me to live in constant preparation for the last 
summons. 

" Ever your affectionate friend, 

S. L. Taylor." 

Having received information that her children 
were sick, she writes thus to her sister. 

"Orange, July 6, 1835. 
" My dear sister, 

" I have one comfort in this case, I can confi- 
dently commend them, and you, to Him who sees 
us all continually, — whose watchful care is ever 
over us for good. Day and night, they are under his 
protection, without whose notice not a sparrow falls 
to the ground. I have given my children to God 
for life and for death, — and I know that he is 
able to keep whatever I commit to him. Should 
he see fit to remove them from our embrace, we 
know that the dispensation would be wise, however 
trying it might be for us to bear it. We cannot 
doubt, that stronger love than mortal ever knew, 
even the love that led to the redemption of guilty 
man, would be the theme of their praises, in that 
world where sin and sorrow can never enter, where 
20 



230 memoir or 

there is neither sickness, nor separation. When I 
think of heaven as it must be, — as the Bible de- 
scribes it, — death is nothing, — life is nothing, — com- 
pared to the glory that awaits those to whom it is 
promised. 

"Yours affectionately, 

Sarah." 

To a brother of her husband who was preparing 
for the ministry, she thus writes. 

" Orange, July 6, 1835. 
" My dear brother Warren, 

" Since my return from Conn. I have had another 
season of suffering ; but am now comparatively well. 
Were I relieved from this cough, I might hope for 
the enjoyment of health; — and once more have 
around me, in my home, my little loved ones, and 
others, who are dear to me. In regard to all these 
things, I desire to have no will of my own. ' The 
Lord reigneth, let the earth rejoice. ' He has 
promised, that * all things shall work together for good 
to those that love him.' 

" We are bound by many strong ties to those with 
whom we are connected in the endearing relations 
of life ; but we may so attend to our various duties 
as to appropriate to ourselves, in a certain sense, the 
language of the Psalmist, * I have set the Lord 



MRS. TAYLOR. 231 

always before me.' I think Christians allow them- 
selves to look too much at present difficulties and 
trials, without casting ' an eye of faith' forward to 
the completion of this probationary state. True, we 
have present duties to perform, but these are light- 
ened, and sweetened, by the anticipation of that 
state, in which we shall serve him who redeemed 
us, without weariness, fear, or sin. 

" I am gratified in learning, that you are pleased 
with your situation, and hope you will persevere, 
until you are ' thoroughly furnished' for the high and 
holy vocation to which you aspire. Were you near 
me, it would be my delight to do many things for 
you, which only mothers, or sisters, feel interested 
about. I need not say, that in all your hopes, pros- 
pects, and success, I am deeply concerned. You 
speak of gaining a year by studying during the va- 
cation ; — I would not advise, nor dictate, but I hope 
you will not. Such a course can rarely be pursued 
with permanent advantage. Suppose thereby, you 
enter the ministry a year sooner, will you be as well 
qualified for your arduous and highly responsible 
duties as by devoting more time to preparatory 
studies ? It also deserves to be considered, that by 
the plan proposed, you may, like many others, ruin 
your health, and bring yourself to a premature grave. 
Make these things matters of conscience ; endeavor 



232 MEMOIR OF 

to judge impartially; and do not undertake more 
than you have ability to accomplish. 

" I would fill my sheet, but writing fatigues me 
very much. In your prayers remember your 
sincerely affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 

In the latter part of this month, she spent a few 
hours with her children. An account of the visit 
with the affecting circumstances, shall be given in 
her own language. 

To Mrs. C. H., Buffalo, New York. 

" Orange, N. J., July 31, 1835. 
" My dear Mrs. H., 

" I have a very pleasant home, and am as agree- 
ably situated as I can be while separated from my 
dear children. Last week I left here, thinking as 
the weather was settled and very warm, I might 
spend at least a few days at Middle Haddam. But 
our friends consented only on condition of my return- 
ing the following day. We reached there late in the 
afternoon, and left early the next morning ; I had no 
sooner taken my babe in my arms, than unmindful 
of any one else around me, I gave vent to my long 
suppressed feelings. Presently my dear mother's 
affectionate voice recalled me to myself. * Think 
my child,' she said, * what cause you have for grati- 
tude. You find them well and happy ; — why give 



MRS. TAYLOR. 233 

way to tears V I felt the justness of her mild rebuke, 
and tried to subdue my almost uncontrollable emo- 
tions. Since I parted with them, early in June, I 
hare considered it very doubtful whether I should 
ever see them again ; and when I did press them 
once more to my bosom, — knowing I could only see 
them a few short hours, — you will understand my 
feelings. 

" Last winter I often asked myself, what would 
become of them, in case of my death, which was 
apparently near at hand. But, now, I find that I can 
live, and commit the whole care of them to others. 
How few, who are obliged to give up children, have 
so comfortable a home for them ! Surely goodness 
and mercy have followed me all the days of my life. 

" My cough is still troublesome. I can walk a 
short distance, but am unable to take any other 
exercise. May I feel that this visitation is from the 
Lord. ' Let him do what seemeth to him good.' 
What is this life compared with the next ? In a few 
short years, it will be of little moment, whether we 
now suffer affliction, or are tried by prosperity. Oh, 
it is much easier to give up the world, and cleave to 
the Saviour, as our all and in all, when bowed down 
with sorrow, than when all around is bright, and the 
heart beams with health and hope. 

" Ever yours, 

S. L. Taylor." 

20* 



234 MEMOIR OF 

In writing to Mr. Taylor's mother, under date of 
Aug. 1, after relating several particulars contained in 
the preceding letter, she proceeds, " I have, indeed, 
my dear mother, been brought to the very verge of 
the invisible world, and in view of the change, appa- 
rently so near, I felt willing to resign whatever I 
held most dear on earth, and trust all to Him, who 
has promised to ' keep that which is committed to 
him.' I am now relieved from immediate apprehen- 
sion, and hope patiently to wait my appointed time. 

" My home, though among strangers, is very plea- 
sant. I am surrounded with comforts, and every day 
brings new mercies. Brother R. will tell you many 
things which I am too feeble to write. I hope, if 
possible, you will visit us this season. By no one 
will you be more cordially received, than by your af- 
fectionate daughter. 

Sarah L ." 



CHAPTER XII. 

Consultation of physicians — Hope of life relinquished — Final 
parting with her children — Letters written on the trying oc- 
casion — A mother's advice to her children — Depression of spi- 
rits — Importance of keeping the Saviour steadily in view. 

Mrs. Taylor returned to the city the last of Sep- 
tember, indulging the fond hope, that at no distant 
period she might be reunited with her dear children. 
She did meet them, but that meeting was only prepa- 
ratory to a final separation. They were with her for 
a few days, and she saw them no more. It has al- 
ready been mentioned, that she had committed them 
temporarily to the charge of her sister at M. H. Conn. 
Here she would gladly have had them remain ; but 
the failure of the health of that sister, rendered it im- 
possible for her to retain the care of them. 

Mrs. T. addressed a few lines to her sister by the 
person who went for the babe. Her eldest child had 
been previously taken to the city. 

" Thursday, P. M. October 8, 1835. 
11 My dear sister, 

" A thousand thoughts float across my mind, and 



236 MEMOIR OF 

I know not which to express first. All this was so 
unexpected, that I should not feel reconciled to it, 
were I not persuaded of its necessity. Do not fear 
for the dear child ; God will provide for him. How 
gladly would I have gone for him, if I could have 
done so without injury to my own health. Few things 
have tried me more than your present sickness. 

" My dear sister, I look at all these circumstances, 
at our sickness and inability to be of service, the one 
to the other, and could I look no further, my heart 
would burst. But 'the Lord reigns.' I have felt 
the meaning of this little sentence within a few days, 
and can rejoice in the assurance it conveys. I would 
comfort you, if it were in my power to impart con- 
solation. I can only direct you to a high and un- 
failing source, from which you may draw a rich sup- 
ply. 

" Your affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 

This was a period full of anxiety to Mrs. Taylor, 
and her sympathizing friends. Several physicians 
were consulted, who gave no encouragement to ex- 
pect her recovery. A speedy dissolution was ap- 
prehended. What should be done with the dear chil- 
dren, was a question of deep interest to the parental 
heart ! The decision involved much, in which all 
her feelings were enlisted. She acquiesced in it, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 237 

when made, though not without a most severe strug- 
gle. They were entrusted to the care of their grand- 
mother, in the western part of New- York. The fol- 
lowing note was written by their mother the evening 

before their departure, introducing them to their new 
home. 

"New-York, Oct. 18, 1835. 
" My dear mother, 

" Before you read this, you will doubtless have 
embraced my precious little treasures. You know 
a mother's duty, responsibility, and affection ; and 
can well imagine what it would cost me to give them 
up, even with the hope of seeing them again on earth. 
But when I think that we may meet no more — my 
feelings rise, and did I not see my duty clearly mark- 
ed out, I should shrink back. They have been given 
to God in baptism, and I trust dedicated to him on 
the altar of our hearts. That they may early love 
him, and be taught to feel that the advancement of 
his glory should be the great aim of their lives, is my 
sincere prayer for them. 

" If they but get safely to your arms, I know you 
will love them for their father's sake, and may I not 
hope for mine too ? Think of the dear babe,* he has 
never seen 'me enough to know me, and yet how 
kindly an ever watchful Providence has dealt with 
him. His looks show that he has never suffered for 

* He was taken from her to Conn., when only two months old 



238 MEMOIR OF 

want of good care. Perhaps he is sent to you to fill 
the vacancy that death has made in your group of 
little ones. Take them — love them — but do not in- 
dulge them unreasonably ; for they will soon discover 
and take advantage of it. 

" My thoughts will be often with you, and I need 
not say, my prayers will be daily offered for you all. 
Remember me when you draw near the Mercy Seat, 
and let us be comforted by the assurance that, 

" Though painful at present, 
'Twill cease before long ; 
And then, oh ! how pleasant, 
The conqueror's song." 

" Your affectionate daughter, 

Sarah." 

. A letter to Mrs. C H., Buffalo, N. Y., commenced 
on the same day with the preceding, makes us still 
further acquainted with her feelings, when the trying 
moment of separation had arrived. 

" New-York, Oct. 18, 1835, 
" My very dear friend, 

u That man sees not through the thin partition of 
an hour ; how true ! how fully verified in the expe- 
rience of every day! If we are indeed christians, 
we see in the changes of this ever varying world, 
abundant reason to rejoice, not only that it is not our 
4 continuing city or abiding place,' but that ' The Lord 



MRS. TAYLOR. 239 

reigns.' This truth, has recently been very comfort- 
ing to me, and reconciled me to what at first seemed 
more than I could bear. How cheering the reflec- 
tion ; ' He knows our frame, He remembers that we 
are but dust, and 'as our day is, so will our strength be.' 

" The increasing and alarming nature of sister H's 
indisposition, made it necessary to remove my babe 
from home. My cough returned with all its attend- 
ant sufferings. I have lost what I had gained in 
strength ; and though I am at present very comforta- 
ble, it is not considered prudent for me to keep either 
of my children with me. Probably I shall never claim 
them as mine again. I am thankful that such a 
home is provided for them. Dear little helpless ones ! 
They have been given to God. He 'loves his own, 
and loves them unto the end.' That they may glo- 
rify him, whether they live or die, is my continual 
prayer for them. 

"Wednesday evening. 

" They have gone, my dear Mrs. H. I have im- 
printed on their little cheeks, probably my last kiss. 
Oh ! it was trying to see them, so smiling and un- 
conscious, borne away from me — so far away ! The 
bitterness was in the thought, that with reference to 
time they are gone from me for ever. 

" It is very solemn work to bring death in our own 
case, near at hand. But it must be done; and why 
should the christian wish to avert the summons, which 



240 MEMOIR OF 

is to call him to his Saviour — free him from sin and 
suffering — and place him in possession of glory and 
joy, unspeakable and eternal ? * The spirit is willing, 
but the flesh is weak.' If we overcome, it will be of 
grace — grace — because Christ has died — yea, has 
risen again and sits on the right hand of God. — 
Through him we may hope for victory even over the 
last enemy. 

" My past life seems a blank — except in regard to 
sin. I cannot remember one action performed from 
purity of motive, at least without some selfishness, or 
other sinful principle, being associated with it. Oh ! 
there is nothing naturally in the human heart, but en- 
mity to God. Whatever of an opposite nature exists 
there, is implanted by him, who created light out of 
darkness. Could I see E. and S., I would say to 
them. — Live in readiness for death ; for after death 
comes the judgment. 

" It fatigues my chest exceedingly to write, but 
with a full heart, how can I stop ? Will you pray 
for me, for my babes, and for Sarah? It is cheering 
to know that I am remembered before God by chris- 
tian friends. We shall meet again. That it may be 
in that world, where we shall be clothed with a Savi- 
our's righteousness, and washed in his atoning blood, 
may our heavenly Father grant for his son's sake. 
" Ever yours sincerely, 

Sarah Louisa Taylor." 



MRS. TAYLOR. 241 

A few days later, she wrote to her sister, giving 
some additional particulars respecting the children 
and herself at this trying season. 

« New-York, Oct. 29, 1835. 
" My dear sister Harriet, 

" You must have been very anxious to hear from 
our dear babe, and all the rest of us. I delayed wri- 
ting for a week that I might tell you, they are com- 
fortably settled. They left on the 19th instant, for 
Albion, near Buffalo, in charge of their father and 
Mrs. Tyler. They reached there on Saturday, and 
were cordially welcomed by their grandmother and 
all the members of the family. They were as well 
and happy as possible, when Mr. T. came away. 

" In a world where every hour produces changes, 
not only in the face of nature, and in circumstances 
around us, but in our whole frame, we ought to be 
prepared for unexpected occurrences and trials. My 
health is such, that it was considered advisable to 
send dear little C. away with the babe. Oh ! the try- 
ing moments it has cost me to give them up, and they 
so unconscious, affectionate, and happy. While I 
weep as I think of them, I can rejoice that such a 
home is provided for them. Could I hear that you 
are recovering, and have a prospect of enjoying com- 
fortable health again, I should have another great 
cause for thankfulness. Were my strength sufficient, 
there is much in my heart I would gladly communicate 
21 



242 MEMOIR OF 

to you and my dear mother. Probably we shall meet 
no more in time. To one and all of you I would say, 
" Be ye also ready." Contrast time with eternity, 
and what is it ? What are all the pleasures and de- 
lights of earth, compared with the joys which God 
has prepared for those who love him ? I think much 
of you, and have shed many tears while writing this, 
tears of affection and gratitude. I know I am dear 
to you, and you may feel that it cannot, must not be. 
Oh! remember, the Lord will do ' all things well.' 
I suffer but little comparatively, and receive every 
necessary attention, and kindness, from those around 
me. Nothing, that can contribute to my comfort is 
withheld. Do not delay writing a single mail. 
" Ever your affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 

Though separated from her children, she could not 
forget them, nor cease to devise means for the pro- 
motion of their happiness. Knowing they were too 
young to remember her, she thought a written testi- 
mony of her regard and anxiety for them, might speak 
effectually to their hearts in maturer years, should 
their lives be prolonged. With this object in view, 
and to inspire them with reverence for sacred truth, 
she procured for each of them a Testament, to be 
presented at some future time, in which she wrote 
what she then considered her last advice. For her 
eldest son she selected the following lines, as ex- 
pressing a mother's feelings and wishes. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 243 

" Remember, love, who gave thee this, 
When other days shall come, 
When she who had thy earliest kiss, 
Sleeps in her narrow home ! 
Remember, 'twas a mother gave 
The gift, to one she'd die to save. 

That mother sought a pledge of love, 

The holiest for her son, 

And from the gifts of God above, 

She chose a goodly one. 

She chose for her beloved boy, 

The source of light, and life, and joy. 

And bade him keep the gift, that when 
The parting hour should come, 
They might have hope to meet again, 
In an eternal home. 
She said his faith in that, would be 
Sweet incense to her memory. 

And should the scoffer, in his pride, 

Laugh that faith to scorn, 

And bid him cast the pledge aside, 

That he from youth had borne ; 

She bade him pause, and ask his breast, 

If he, or she had loved him best 

A parent's blessing on her son, 

Goes with this holy thing ; 

The heart that would retain the one, 

Must to the other cling. 

Remember ! 'tis no idle toy, 

A mother's gift — remember, boy ! " 

"October, 1, 1835. 



244 MEMOIR OF 

To this she afterwards added a direct address in 
her own language. 

" My dear Cornelius, 

" Do you remember with how much interest and 
attention, I listened to your innocent prattle ? Do 
you remember how often you climbed the easy chair, 
in which I sat, an invalid, and clasping your arms 
around me, would say, ' Dear mama, I do love you.' 
That your affection for me was fully returned, you 
cannot doubt ; and now that he who loves you more 
than father or mother, and knows infinitely better 
than either of us, what is for our good, seems about 
to take me from you, I wish to leave something, 
which shall be to you convincing proof of the nature 
of my regard for you. I have chosen this little vo- 
lume. Value it as the gift of your dying mother ; as 
the word of God sent down from heaven. Esteem 
it above all price. Treasure in your mind, believe 
in your heart, and practice in your life, the truths 
this precious book contains ; and the great end of 
your existence, to glorify God, and secure the salva- 
tion of your immortal soul, will be attained. 

" You will, if you live, be surrounded by tempta- 
tions of various kinds. Let the gospel of Christ be 
your defence. Take it, my son, as a light to your 
feet, a lamp to your path, — and it will never fail 
you ; — you will be thoroughly furnished for every 
good work. Make it your daily study, and ever 



MRS. TAYLOR. 245 

pray, that the Spirit, which taught holy men of old 
to write, may lead you to the knowledge of the truth 
as it is in Jesus. Remember, if you at last fail of 
the grace of eternal life, your guilt will be great and 
aggravated, in proportion to the light and knowledge 
you have enjoyed. Oh, my son, make God your 
friend through Christ your Saviour. Even in your 
infancy, you can love him. To him, as a covenant 
keeping God, I commend you. May you be kept by 
his power, through faith. A brief period then, and 
we shall be united for a blissful eternity. Farewell. 
" Your affectionate mother, 

S. L. Taylor." 

" Make God your friend in youthful years ; 
He will your footsteps guide, 
Through all your pilgrimage of tears, 
Till all your tears are dried." 

In the Testament of her youngest son, then about 
eight months old, she wrote the following letter. 

11 My dear son George, 

" In heaven, the world of light and glory, where 
God reigns, there is no parting, no farewell. And 
when those whom death separates on earth, are re- 
united there, the union lasts forever. How shall I 
address you ! What language shall I use, to convey 
to you an idea of my desires for you ; my ardent, 
heart-felt desires, that you may be a ' son brought 
home to glory,' — that we may eternally praise him 
21* 



246 MEMOIR OF 

together, who redeemed us with his own precious 
blood ? Before you can, in any degree, appreciate 
these desires, I shall, in all probability, have been 
long silent in death. But he, who is ' a covenant 
keeping God,' ever lives, ever keeps that which is 
committed to his charge, in kind remembrance. 

" To Him, my son, you have been dedicated in 
solemn baptism. Will you not, in your early years, 
as soon as you can understand your duty, ratify your- 
self this covenant, and give your soul and body for 
time and for eternity, to Christ the Saviour ? It is 
your reasonable service. It is the design of your 
creation, and you may believe the testimony of one 
who stands on the borders of another world, — one 
who loves you as another never can. There is 
nothing but the service of God worth living for, and 
nothing but his promise in Christ Jesus can support 
the soul, in the near prospect of that hour, when 
heart and flesh shall fail us. Better to possess this 
book, without any other earthly portion, than to 
command millions of wealth, and be destitute of the 
knowledge of its precious truths. Better to be left 
an infant orphan, consecrated by prayers and tears to 
God, than to have all the care and affection of pa- 
rents, who have not the fear of God before their 
eyes. 

" Keep this little volume, as the last gift of an 
affectionate mother, whom you have never known, 



MRS. TAYLOR 247 

I have prayed that a blessing may accompany it, 
and if you read it with a prayerful disposition, 
it will prove to you a rich legacy, and will point out 
plainly the way by which you may secure ' a crown 
of glory, an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and 
that fadeth not away. Then may you hope to meet 
me in that world, where love shall fill our hearts, 
and tune our harps to praise, throughout eternity ! 

" Your Mother. 
'< New York, Oct., 1835." 

Her adopted child, who remained with her when 
the babes were removed, shared largely in her affec- 
tions, and received a similar token of maternal soli- 
citude. 

" My dear child, 

" You are an immortal being. That means, you 
must live forever. Not here, in this changing, un- 
satisfying, sinful state ; but in another world, in 
heaven with Christ, and saints, and angels, and be 
continually increasing in holiness, knowledge, and 
happiness ; or be banished from the presence of 
God, and left to endure the gnawings of the worm 
that never dies. You have been dedicated to God in 
baptism, and renewedly consecrated to him by an 
affectionate mother, now in glory. 

" Soon I expect to meet her there, and I leave for 
you this precious little volume, enjoining upon you, 



248 MEMOIR OF 

that when you have no mother to watch over, to 
counsel, and pray with you, you will daily read 
a portion of it, and pray to Christ for yourself. 
Never neglect it. Always ask of God to enlighten 
the eyes of your understanding, that you may behold 
wondrous things out of his law. 

" May the Holy Spirit apply the truths of the gos- 
pel, with clear and convincing power, to your heart 
may you see and feel your ruined condition, and cast 
yourself unreservedly upon Christ, as your only hope 
of salvation. 

" Now that your journey's just begun, 
Your road so little trod, 
Come, now, before you farther run, 
And give yourself to God. 

11 Then, though left twice ' an orphan, you will 
not be alone or comfortless ;' but will have such en- 
joyment as * earth can neither give nor take away.' 
Every sorrow will be sanctified, every pleasure en- 
hanced, and while you seek to glorify God, in what- 
ever sphere he may place you, you may hope to 
meet in heaven, those who so dearly loved you 
while on earth, and unite with them in ascriptions 
of praise to him, ' who so loved us all, as to give 
himself a ransom for us, and who washed us from 
our sins in his own blood.' 

"New York, Oct. 30,1835. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 249 

While her thoughts were fixed on others, they 
were necessarily, in some degree, diverted from her- 
self. The separation from her children, the endea- 
vor to leave a record of her wishes respecting them, 
which might be recurred to with profit in after 
years, exhausted her strength, and, for the time, af- 
fected her spirits. Who will be surprised to learn, 
that this excitement of her whole frame, rendered 
special exertion necessary, to regain her former en- 
joyment, and stay herself upon the Saviour of sin- 
ners 1 

On the 30th of October, I was sent for to visit her. 
The interview was peculiarly affecting. She seemed 
to realize that the hand of death was upon her, and 
disclosed, with her accustomed frankness, the state 
of her mind. She expressed her firm, unwavering 
conviction of the ability and willingness of Jesus to 
save all who trust in him ; and her difficulty in ap- 
propriating to herself the comforts of the gospel. 

A free conversation ensued respecting the peculi- 
arities of the gospel plan, for the salvation of a guilty 
world ; how infinitely it exceeded in wisdom any 
thing that man could devise, — how every feature of 
it was stamped with the holiness, and loveliness, of 
its author, and displayed the glories of redeeming 
love. The dealings of the Lord with his suffering 
and afflicted children, were referred to, and the re- 
markable manner in which he often interposes in their 



250 MEMOIR OF 

behalf, and causes light to arise in the midst of dark- 
ness. 

When her own experience in past trials and con- 
flicts, was mentioned, she gratefully acknowledged 
that the Lord had been with her in them, verified all 
his precious promises, and sustained her in a way, 
that appeared truly astonishing. She was then asked 
whether in view of all these things, she could, for a 
moment, relinquish her hold upon him 1 Her reply 
evinced that, though her hope was feeble, her con- 
fidence in the Lord remained. " I can truly say, '■ I 
know that my Redeemer liveth.' God has been gra- 
cious to me, far beyond what I had the least reason 
to expect ; but my heart appears so sinful, so many 
unholy thoughts have place there, that it can hardly 
be right for me to indulge a hope of salvation." 

The following question was then proposed to her. 
Should you meet with a person greatly distressed on 
account of sin, what would you say to him ? "I would 
point him to the Lamb of God, who taketh away the 
sins of the world. I would plead with him not to yield 
himself the victim of despair, but to throw himself en- 
tirely upon the merits of Christ." Could you not also 
remind him of what you have enjoyed of the love and 
peace of God, and of the strength which has been 
imparted to you in seasons of tribulation ? " Oh ! yes, 
it seems to me that my heart could sing of the good- 
ness of the Lord. I would urge all that are out of 



MRS. TAYLOR. 251 

Christ to flee to him, as a sure defence." I then 
asked her, how she could allow herself to cherish ap- 
prehensions respecting the future ? She replied, " I 
ought not, but the Saviour has done so much for me, 
and I have been so ungrateful, and made such poor 
returns, that I have felt as though it was scarcely 
possible that he could receive me as his own." Do 
you hope to be saved on account of any merit, or in- 
herent holiness that you possess ? " Oh ! no, grace? 
free unmerited grace, is the ground of all my hope. 
Jesus is a complete Saviour. He pitied me when I 
was wandering from him, and kindly brought me to 
his fold." Will he ever refuse to own those who 
trust themselves in his hands, looking to him, and 
him only, for salvation ? " It cannot be, but I need 
continually to pray. Lord increase my faith." 

This interview has been particularly noticed, be- 
cause it exhibits Mrs. Taylor suffering from a source 
but too common among christians ; and though in her 
case the trial was but temporary, yet should the men- 
tion of it, arrest the eye of any reader of this memoir, 
who is suffering from a similar cause, and be the 
means of fixing the attention exclusively upon Jesus 
Christ, as our great atoning sacrifice, the result will 
not fail to be salutary. 

An extract of a letter from the Rev. Mr. Winslow, 
though suggested by an earlier portion of Mrs. Tay- 
lor's history, has so important a bearing on this sub* 



252 MEMOIR OF 

ject, that I cannnot deny myself the satisfaction of 
introducing it here. 

" I have remarked, that her spiritual sky was not 
always cloudless. This can be easily traced to its 
true cause, a removal of faith's eye from off the 
finished work of the blessed Emmanuel. Here was 
the grand secret of all the spiritual darkness of which 
she complained. Yes, and may I not add, of all the 
spiritual darkness which ever settles upon the mind 
of a child of God. How much to be regretted, that 
this evil, so common, is yet so much overlooked. 
Led as the believer has been, in the commencement 
of his christian course, to despair of all hope spring- 
ing from himself, and to rest as a helpless sinner, in 
Christ, and in Christ alone, he experiences the peace 
of God, which passeth all understanding. Yet in the 
successive stages of his pilgrimage, into what sea- 
sons of darkness and doubt is he brought, from a for- 
getfulness of the truth, that the view of Christ upon 
which he first ventured to hope in God's mercy, must 
be the view that is to sustain and cheer him every 
step of his future journeyings. Looking within him- 
self for evidences, perhaps certain indefinable impres- 
sions of which he knows neither the nature nor the 
origin — and removing the eye from off the cross, the 
believer is all his lifetime in bondage through feai 
of condemnation. 

"It is this reversing the order observed in the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 253 

economy of redemption, — this placing the spirit's 
work in the position of Christ's work, which is the 
cause of such leanness in the soul. Great and pre- 
cious as is the work of the Holy Spirit, — happy and 
holy as he is, who partakes largely of his influence, 
yet we should be cautious lest we make him a sub- 
stitute for Christ. If, then, we look to the work of 
the spirit within us, as the source of our evidence 
and comfort, while we close the eye upon what Christ 
is in himself, what he has accomplished, and what 
he now is doing on his mediatorial throne ; what is 
this but to substitute the effect for the cause, to turn 
our face from the sun, and complain that we see not 
its lustre, to veil it from the earth, and wonder, the 
seed does not vegetate, and the plants do not 
bloom P 



22 



CHAPTER XIII. 

Renewal of enjoyment— Memento of a beloved friend — Duty of 
Christians to live near to God — Value of sympathy — Observ- 
ance of the Lord's day — Gratifying exhibition of faith and 
love — Claims of the heathen. 

Mrs. Taylor emerged from the darkness which 
had shrouded her vision^ and derived, if possible, 
more than her accustomed enjoyment from the con- 
templation of the divine character and perfections. 
Even hours of comparative gloom, trying at the time, 
were sanctified to her, and became the means of ele- 
vating her affections, increasing her faith, and bind- 
ing her more firmly to the Lord. Her own reference 
to the subject in a letter to her mother-in-law, evin. 
ces the beautiful simplicity of her character, and the 
lovely spirit by which she was animated. 

" New-York, Nov. 3, 1835. 
" My dear mother, 

" Again I am permitted to address you in the only 
way in which we shall, probably, ever have inter- 
course on earth. Even this is to me a great privi- 
lege. For I feel that I am no more a stranger, when 
I can make known to you things concerning me and 



MRS. TAYLOR. 255 

mine, in which you too are interested. Since I last 
wrote, I have looked upon death as very near ; and 
though my mind has been clouded, and the sin of un- 
belief cherished to my own distress, yet I can now 
cast my soul, my all, for time and eternity upon Christ, 
the only refuge for lost sinners. Will you not make 
it a subject of special prayer, that all my confidence 
may be in Jesus, in the satisfaction he has given, and 
the atonement he has made ? I am not anxious as 
to the result of my sickness — ' may I but know that 
Christ is mine.' I ask no more. Come then life or 
death, all things shall work together for my good. 

" I suffer but little. God is indeed dealing very 
gently with me ; and if he is about to dissolve the 
earthly house, this tabernacle, he is doing it in a 
way of mercy. 

" That you all love the dear children well enough, 
I have no doubt. Should they live, will you not en- 
deavor to impress upon their minds, that they have 
been especially consecrated to God ? May he grant 
them desires to glorify him, even in their earliest 
years. How short the time — and we, and those we 
love, if the friends of Christ, shall be beyond the in- 
fluence of change or sin ! 

" To dear brother W., I would say, what he alrea- 
dy knows, and I hope feels, that there is nothing on 
earth for which we should desire to live, but the glory 
of God. 



256 MEMOIR OF 

" Remember me most affectionately to every mem- 
ber of the family. Say to them that my prayer, and 
I trust my heart's desire, is, that we may meet 
in heaven. Tell my father, that I thank him for his 
kindness and affection to my dear babes, and feel 
more than I can express. Kiss them for their mo- 
ther, and little Sarah, who loves them dearly. 

" Believe me, your affectionate daughter, 

S. L. Taylor." 

Several days after the last date, Mrs. Taylor ad- 
dressed a few lines to a dear friend, as a memento, 
when she was gone, of her feelings and wishes. 



" When morning gilds the eastern skies, 
And I from peaceful slumbers rise, 
To pay my early sacrifice, 

And make my earnest plea ; 
And when amid my worldly care, 
I lift my heart in silent prayer, 
And to my God my burdens bear, 

Then I remember thee. 

And when at noontide I retire, 
To breath in secret my desire, 
That I may more and more aspire, 

For holiness and love. 
Then do I plead that thou may'st know 
While wand'ring in this vale of woe, 
The pure exalted joys that flow, 

From intercourse above. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 257 

And when I ■ steal awhile away,' 
From ' cumbering care' at ' closing day/ 
Thankful for mercies past — to pray 

That blessings new be given, 
Then do I supplicate for thee, 
That thou may'st labor faithfully, 
And live alone to God, — and be 

Prepared for bliss in heaven. 

And when at midnight's solemn hour, 
On faith's strong pinions borne, I soar 
To realms on high — with saints adore, 

Impatient to lay down 
This tenement of clay, and rise 
From earth's ensnaring vanities, 
To join the ransomed in the skies, 

And wear their glorious crown; 

Then do I plead, that those, who here, 
Are to my warm affections dear, 
May meet me in that blessed sphere, 

And with the Saviour reign ; 
Where through the lapse of endless days, 
Harmonious voicesjwe may raise, 
Not in weak prayer, but joyful praise. 

To him for sinners slain." 

' New York, Nov. 7, 1835." 



Nov. 8. She writes to her sister. 
" I can only look at mercies on every side. My 
greatest trial is, that I feel no more gratitude, and 
22* 



258 MEMOIR OF 

do not make a more suitable return. God is in- 
deed leading me in a dubious path, to human vision ; 
but he has a good design concerning me, and will 
glorify himself, whatever may be the result of all 
this training. Should I live, I hope I may never 
lose sight of a dying hour." 

Few subjects awakened more interest in the 
mind of Mrs. Taylor, during her protracted illness, 
than the importance of christians living near to 
God. Withdrawn from the world herself, she look- 
ed, as from an elevated position, on what was trans- 
piring around her. She felt, that the whole of life 
was compressed within a very narrow compass, that 
on the influence which the followers of Jesus ex- 
erted, by the holiness of their lives, and their su- 
preme devotedness to spiritual things, the progress 
of religion in the community, and the world, essen- 
tially depended. " If christians," she said, " become 
secular in their feelings, engrossed by the business 
and passing events of the present life, how can they 
let their light shine before men ! Must they not feel 
reproved by the question, — ' What do ye more than 
others V If the gospel is not at all times their stan- 
dard of action, they will be insensibly drawn into 
sinful compliances, — the life of religion will be lost. 
They may have a name among the living, but for 
every valuable purpose, they will be dead." 

It was her daily prayer, that the Lord would, in 






MRS. TAYLOR. 259 

tender mercy, " cleanse and defend his church, and 
preserve it evermore by his help and goodness ;" 
that he would " grant his people grace to withstand 
the temptations of the world, the flesh and the 
devil ; and with pure minds and hearts, to follow 
Him, the only God, through Jesus Christ their 
Lord." She endeavored to impress upon all with 
whom she conversed, the necessity of greater con- 
formity to the will of God, and increased efforts for 
the salvation of a world lying in wickedness. When 
her strength would admit the use of her pen, these 
subjects were urged in her letters. To Mrs. M., a 
christian friend, who manifested for her great sym- 
pathy, she thus writes. 

" Monday, P. M., Dec. 7, 1835. 
" To say that I was extremely gratified, will not 
express what I felt, as I read, again and again, your 
affectionate letter. It comforted me, and I could say, 
with new confidence, ' I know that I love the chil- 
dren of God,' that I delight in holding intercourse 
with his people. It led me to a train of thought 
which was encouraging and strengthening. To be 
assured that those, who commune with Jesus, re- 
member me in their intercessions before the mercy 
seat, is always cheering to my heart. How precious 
the promise, ' the prayer of the righteous prevails 
with God !' 



260 MEMOIR OF 

" But I am a mystery to myself. A gain I am gaining 
strength. My life may yet be prolonged. It is the 
desire of my heart to keep eternity, and its realities, 
ever before me, so to * live, as I shall wish I had 
done, when I come to die.' 

"You, my dear friend, have the wisdom gained by 
experience; will you then tell me, why christians 
are so inconsistent ? Is it true, that all human be- 
ings around us, are immortal ? — that they are going 
rapidly forward to eternal happiness, or endless 
misery ? And is this life, the only state of proba- 
tion ? the only time to secure the salvation of the 
undying spirit ? Can we believe these things, and 
yet live as though they do not concern us 1 

" When I reflect on these subjects, I desire to 
make some effort for the benefit of others, — to see 
christians living less in conformity to the world, and 
thus removing the ' stumbling blocks' which so often 
lie in the way of the unconverted. I feel that they 
ought to be, in deed and in truth, a separate peo- 
ple, known as such by their works and conversation. 
" Your obliged and affectionate, 

S. L. Taylor." 

She often alluded to the neglect of a suitable ob- 
servance of the Lord's day, — particularly by those 
who are called by the christian name, and commemo- 
rate the Saviour's dying love. Regarding such as 



MRS. TAYLOR. 261 

designed, in an important sense, to be lights in the 
world, she was grieved at witnessing an indifference 
to the cultivation of those feelings, which the special 
consecration of the day demands. " How can they 
enjoy," she asked, " the services of the sanctuary, 
when, at their own homes, they converse about their 
worldly business, or the news of the day ? It seems 
to me, that every indulgence of this kind, serves to 
lower the standard of piety, and to produce a state 
of feeling extremely unfavorable to the influence of 
the gospel. Are not six days in the week sufficient 
for attention to temporal concerns ? Must the hal- 
lowed services of that day. which is an emblem of 
eternal rest, be desecrated, by allowing the intrusion 
of uncongenial subjects 1 

" I would not hurt the feelings of others, but I de- 
sire that all would lay this subject to heart, and ask 
themselves whether they honor God in a becoming 
manner, when they allow their thoughts to be en- 
listed on this holy day, by those things, which per- 
tain to a fleeting world ? Some, no doubt, have in- 
considerately fallen into the habit, or have indulged 
it on account of their associates. Is it right for them 
to keep up intercourse, particularly on Sunday, with 
those who are unwilling to converse on religious 
subjects, and have no relish for devout meditation ; 
or who spend their time in reading books of a secu- 
lar character !* 



262 MEMOIR OF 

These remarks were prompted by a strong desire 
that christians should do every thing to the glory of 
God. She knew from sad experience the tempta- 
tions that surround their path, and wished to leave 
some testimony to which her friends might recur, 
when she was gone, respecting the light in which 
this subject appeared to her, in the seclusion of a 
sick chamber. 

Affliction had made her intimately acquainted 
with God, she trusted in him as a tender Father, 
and evinced the childlike spirit of one long in- 
structed in the school of Christ. The nearer she 
drew to the eternal world, the more her heart ex- 
panded with love to the members of the human 
family. Her confidence in the efficacy of prayer, 
acquired fresh strength. All the christian graces 
were in lively exercise. She looked out from her 
clayey tenement, with the eye of faith, upon the un- 
seen things of God's universal dominion. To her 
enlarged and comprehensive vision, the whole 
world seemed but a point. Yet she rejoiced in the 
thought, that here, Jehovah had displayed his efful- 
gent glory. Here, the Son of God became incar- 
nate, — and here, his precious blood was shed for 
the salvation of sinful men. 

While her thoughts soared to heaven, and her 
heart bowed before the mediatorial throne, she 
looked down the vista of ages on earth, and beheld, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 263 

by the light of revelation, the events of predicted 
time. She saw the gospel extending its sway 
from country to country, until the whole world was 
converted unto God. " How glorious," she ex- 
claimed, " will be that day, when the ' knowledge of 
the Lord shall cover the earth, as the waters cover 
the sea.' When streams of living water shall flow 
forth to every nation, making ' glad the city of 
God !' Who would not think it a privilege to live 
at such a period? May we not, even in heaven, 
rejoice in the fulfilment of these prophecies ? If 
there be joy in heaven, when one sinner repenteth, 
who can describe the joy, which will fill the hearts 
of the redeemed, when by the preaching of the gos- 
pel, whole nations shall repent and turn to God 1 
Ought any to be deterred, through fear of personal 
sacrifice, or sufferings, from contributing some hum- 
ble part to the production of so blessed a result?" 

I have listened, with silent astonishment, to the 
outpourings of her heart, on this noble theme. 
Never was eloquence more touching. Often have I 
wished, that those who hesitate respecting their ob- 
ligation to aid in sending the gospel to pagan lands, 
might view the subject as it arose before her, during 
the last year of her pilgrimage. Could they real- 
ize the influence of a just apprehension of the duty, 
upon their own religious character, all doubts would 
be removed. It is impossible to dwell on the re- 



264 MEMOIR OF 

vealed will of Jehovah respecting heathen nations, 
and enter fully into the spirit of the missionary en- 
terprise, without feeling a more affectionate interest 
in the welfare of all the members of the human 
family. The delight in every department of chris- 
tian duty will be increased. Faith will take a firmer 
hold of the promises. The unhallowed effect of 
secular pursuits will be diminished. The heart will 
be drawn out in fervent prayer, that " the kingdoms 
of the world may become the kingdoms of our Lord," 
that the Gentile nations may " be brought home 
with the remnant of the true Israelites, and made ond 
fold under one shepherd." 

Writing to a friend, who had under consideration 
the question of joining one of the mission stations 
among the Indians, she remarks, — "I do at times 
feel, that it is of little moment to the real disciple of 
the Lord Jesus, in what part of \ this dim speck, 
which men call earth,' he spends his transient life. 
If he but live to God, his warfare is soon ended, and 
his crown given.- Situated as you are, you may be 
very useful, and ought to rejoice in the privilege of 
sowing good seed in tender minds, which may bring 
forth fruit to the glory of God. 

" May your efforts to do good be increased, and 
abundantly blessed ; till your labors and prayers 
shall give place to joy and praise, in the immediate 
presence of God and the Lamb." 



CHAPTER XIV. 



Christian character as seen the last year of her life — Circula- 
tion of tracts — Foretaste of the happiness of the redeemed — 
Death of her sister Mary — Lines addressed to her eldest son 
— To her youngest son on his birthday — To her adopted 
daughter— Parental solicitude — Utility of Sunday schools. 

On the 1st of January, 1836, Mrs. Taylor thus 
writes to her sister. " Two months ago, I did not 
expect to be here now. When I review all the way 
that God hath led me, my heart is full. How 
another year may close with me I cannot tell. I 
would leave all with Him, who has ever dealt 
kindly with me, and whose promises never fail. I 
I find comfort in reflecting that as a father pitieth 
his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. 
He knoweth our frame, he remembereth we are but 
dust. Amidst these bodily ills, it is pleasant to 
think the period near, when, released from all the 
hindrances of mortality, I too, through grace, rich 
free, and unmerited grace, may sing the song of vic- 
tory, and go out from the immediate presence of 
God no more forever." 

In this lovely frame of mind, she entered on the 
23 



266 MEMOIR OF 

last year of her life* While she lingered here, the 
desire to advance the kingdom of Christ, prevailed 
over every other. Her daily walk afforded a beau- 
tiful illustration of the spirit of the petition — " thy 
kingdom come." Though deprived for many months 
of intercourse with others, except in her own cham- 
ber ; yet all who were admitted to this consecrated 
apartment, felt that it was indeed a Bethel. They 
saw a delightful exhibition of the christian charac- 
ter, and seemed to breathe a new and heavenly 
atmosphere, often retiring with the strong assurance, 
that such a scene was enough to melt the heart of 
the stoutest opposer of the gospel. They beheld in 
her a combination of grace, dignity, and loveliness. 
Every feature had received the softening touches of 
a master's hand. Qualities in themselves attractive, 
and blended together in admirable proportion, had 
been thoroughly imbued with a sanctifying influence. 
Her ever speaking eye riveted attention, while her 
beaming countenance seemed irradiated with celes- 
tial light. Her sweetly flowing periods charmed 
the ear, and the spirit that pervaded them reached 
the heart. No subject could be introduced, per- 
taining to the welfare of the immortal soul, of which 
she did not evince a deep and practical knowledge. 
The chief regret of the writer, is, that so few of 
her remarks have been transferred to paper, and 
those few, so inadequate to convey a just idea of the 



MRS. TAYLOR. 267 

impression produced. The train of reflection she 
excited, was too absorbing for the language to be 
remembered, in which her sentiments were clothed. 
In an early period of her religious history, she 
became convinced of the great benefit to be derived 
from the circulation of religious tracts. These 
" winged messengers" often enlist the feelings of 
those, who would not think of sitting down to a 
larger work. Important subjects are presented be- 
fore the mind, — access is gained to the heart. Al- 
luding to some of the effects she had witnessed, 
Mrs. Taylor remarked, " How evidently we see the 
hand of God, in leading his people to adopt this 
mode of bringing religious truth to bear upon the 
thoughtless. I have seen an individual, weeping 
over the pages of a tract, who had never before 
listened to serious conversation. This person was 
induced to attend public worship, and brought into the 
fold of Christ; giving gratifying evidence of a change 
of heart. In my visits among the destitute and af- 
flicted, some aids of this kind were almost indispen- 
sable. They often suggested topics for remark, 
enabled me more readily to gain attention, and, in 
several instances, I trust, to make a salutary impres- 
sion. If christians would always keep on hand, 
books and tracts, adapted to the condition of those 
with whom they have intercourse, they might em- 
ploy them in a profitable manner." 



268 MEMOIR OF 

Mrs. Taylor took pleasure in practising what she 
recommended. No person could be long in her 
society, without receiving the kind offer of a book 
or tract for perusal. In this way she was instru- 
mental in diffusing an excellent spirit around her. 
Those whom she had occasion to employ in any 
little services, were sure to be remembered. She 
would sometimes say, " I cannot talk much now ; 
this book will remind you of many things of inesti- 
mable value. Pray to God that he will make it a 
blessing to you." If the persons could not conve- 
niently find time to read a larger work, one of her 
small tokens of love would be presented, with the 
request, that they would " read it with prayer, and 
think of what it contained." 

The history of Mrs. Taylor from this period is 
associated with few events on which it is necessary 
to dwell. Too feeble to see much company, she 
enjoyed peculiar facilities for that intercourse, in 
which she so much delighted — communion with 
God. The result was seen in the elevated and 
heavenly feelings, by which she was animated. 
She ever spoke with gratitude of the mercies she 
experienced, and of the preciousness of the love of 
God, her Saviour. " How," she says, "could I have 
passed through these trying scenes, if the Lord had 
not been my ever present help ! He deals with me 
so gently, and orders all my ways in so kind a man- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 269 

ner, that I can never cease speaking forth his praises. 
Once I should have thought it impossible, that I 
could have endured the sufferings and conflicts of 
the past year ; now I wonder, my heart does not 
always rise in gratitude. The design of God in 
these afflictions is so evident, I desire continually 
to magnify his goodness. Blessed be his name, that 
he has had compassion upon me, and permitted me 
to rejoice in hope of eternal blessedness. This 
morning I had a delightful foretaste of the happiness 
of the redeemed. The world and all its concerns, 
receded from my view. Oh, for more holy love, for 
a more contrite spirit." 

These rich consolations were admirably adapted 
to preserve her from that depression of feeling, to 
which at times one of her temperament was liable. 
The power of divine grace triumphed over every 
obstacle. Each new affliction rendered more ap- 
parent the strength of her faith, and ripened her for 
everlasting habitations, Her sympathies, about this 
time, were enlisted in behalf of her eldest sister. 
This sister on a former occasion,* watched by her 
side during a long sickness, and contributed essen- 
tially to her comfort. Now the hand of disease 
pressed heavily upon her, — her days on earth were 
nearly numbered. Mrs. Taylor would fain have 
gone to her relief, and administered the balm of 

* Vide p. 201. 
23* 



270 MEMOIR OF 

heavenly consolation. Denied the enjoyment of this 
privilege, she traced with her pencil, the thoughts, 
which kindness and experience suggested. Mary 
was not insensible to her affection, or her anxiety 
to know the state of her soul at this critical period. 
To the enquiry " how does the Saviour now appear 
to you?" she replied, "He is my only hope. I fully 
realize, that nothing short of a firm reliance on his 
atoning sacrifice, can support me in the approaching 
conflict. Jesus is my all. Pray for me, that my 
faith fail not." A friend who was with her writes ; 
" She was composed, as her last hour drew near, 
and experienced the consolation of the religion she 
professed. She died at her father's house, after a 
lingering illness, Feb. 7, 1836." 

All a mother's sensibilities were awakened by the 
slightest allusion to her children. She made a fur- 
ther effort to testify her anxious solicitude, hoping, 
the time might come, when they would appreciate 
her feelings, and choose for themselves the path, 
which she had marked out for them. To her eldest 
son, then about three years old, she addressed the 
following touching lines. 

" To Cornelius Stewart Taylor. 

"When first upon thy tiny cheek, my lips with joy were press'd, 
And a mother's deep and changeless love, first filled this throb- 
bing breast, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 271 

E'en then I prayed, that He who called thy being into birth, 
Might seal thee his in infancy, to serve Him while on earth. 

"And when, at midnight's solemn hour, we watched thy strug- 
gling breath. 
While cold upon thy infant brow seemed laid the hand of death, 
And there, in blest baptismal rite, we offered thee to God, 
I prayed, Lord let him live to thee ! and he removed the rod. 

" And still I pray, Lord, seal him thine, Lord, help him live to 
thee ! 

But soon this heart, now filled with care, will from all care be 
free, 

Soon shall this prisoned spirit rise, upon my God to gaze 

"Where faith is changed to cheering sight, and prayer to cease- 
less praise. 

" Sarah Louisa Taylor." 

Her youngest son received a similar token of her 
affectionate regard, on the first anniversary of his 
natal day. It was written in a Bible, presented to 
him by the beloved friend after whom he was called. 

" To George Tracy Taylor 

" My son, a friendly hand has traced, 
Thy name, in this blest book ; 
O, may it stand there, uneffaced ! — 
And if thou e'er shalt look 

" Upon this page, when he who gave 
This best of gifts to thee, 
Is sleeping in the silent grave ; 
Think what thy course should be ! 



272 MEMOIR OF 

" Shall he whose name is thine to bear, 
Be honored by my son 1 
Wilt thou not strive by faith and prayer, 
The christian race to run 1 

" Wilt thou not make this book thy guide, 
E'en from thy earliest youth 1 
That God may o'er thy ways preside, 
And lead thee by his truth. 

" Then the blest Lamb, thy precious name, 

In life's fair book will trace, 

And thou shalt all his love proclaim, 

A monument of grace. 

11 Sarah Louisa Taylor." 
" Feb. 15, 1836." 



Mrs. Taylor was ever mindful of her little orphan, 
and wished to make such an impression on her 
mind, as would never be effaced. While time 
rolled on, and the end of her probation drew near, 
she gathered strength, to sketch with her pencil, a 
few lines, as an additional memento of her love, 
when the grave should close over her. They were 
never finished. Breaking off abruptly, they seem 
like the remains of a fallen column. Some opinion 
may be formed of the design, from the fragment 
preserved. 

"My dear child, 

" You are yet a * little one,' but God has already 



MRS. TAYLOR. 273 

marked your course with striking changes and be- 
reavements, afflictions and mercies. Your own fa- 
ther you never knew, and while an infant, you wept 
in anguish, because your dear mother was called to 
heaven. Many little children thus left, are cast 
1 orphans indeed' upon the world. But your Hea- 
venly Father raised up those, who have endeavored 
to discharge the duty of parents toward you. We 
have numbered you with our other dear ones, and 
with them, you have shared our warmest affection. 
Now, my dear Sarah, God, in his infinite wisdom, 
seems about to remove me from you,— again to leave 
you motherless, ere you can fully appreciate a 
mother's love, or solicitude. The time may come, 
when you will know your loss. Never, unless pla- 
ced by divine Providence in similar circumstances, 
can you imagine, what a trial this anticipated sepa- 
ration from you has been. God, however, has ena- 
bled me to resign you to his keeping. 

" My dear child, make the Lord your trust, com- 
mit your way to him, and he will direct your steps. 
Think nothing too trifling to be laid before him. You 
have been accustomed to make known your griefs 
and troubles to me ; go to your Heavenly Parent 
with still stronger confidence, Spread before Him 
all your sins and cares. Do this daily. Live much 
in prayer. Be assured, prayer is your greatest safe- 
guard against sin and temptation." * * * 



274 MEMOIR OF 

The feelings of Mrs. Taylor, when she thought 
of her children, were those of a christian parent. 
She believed that God entrusted them to her care, 
for the glorious purpose, of training them up, while 
on earth, in such a manner, that, hereafter, they 
might enjoy him forever. She felt that no subject 
could be selected, within the range of social duties, 
possessing higher claims to devout observance. 
The obligation is apparent, and irresistible. It can 
scarcely be urged, without receiving the spontaneous 
acknowledgement of every heart. When the parent 
fixes his eye upon his child, the thought is suggest- 
ed, that within the frail clayey tenement is an im- 
mortal soul, whose destiny, through eternal ages; 
may be at his disposal. Shall that child be left un- 
tutored, to the chilling and polluting influence of a 
world lying in wickedness ; or be instructed in di* 
vine truth, and warmed by the genial beams of the 
sun of righteousness % 

Mrs. Taylor spoke, and acted, with these senti- 
ments indelibly impressed on her mind. She knew 
that children were affected by every object around 
them. The works of nature, and the employments 
of society, greet their eyes, but their hearts are 
softened by a mother's tear. They are excited by 
the sufferings of others, even before they know the 
cause of those sufferings. Who gave them this 
susceptibility, but the Former of their bodies, and 



MRS. TAYLOR. 275 

the Father of their spirits ? To parents, in their be- 
half, the appeal is addressed,; — Will you lead their 
affections to an ever during object, or suffer them to 
rest on something that will quickly decay % You 
highly value their regard, but shall they love you 
only, you, who cannot sustain them long ? What 
shall employ their thoughts, and receive the warm 
current of their feelings, when you are slumbering in 
the dust 1 In whose bosoms shall they then repose ? 
You cannot alleviate their sorrow, — -shall they have 
none to whom they can go ? 

Who will be surprised at the anxiety of a pious 
mother ! She is preparing to bid adieu to the things 
of earth. Her children are far away. The sounds 
of her voice fall no more upon their ears. All that 
she can do, is to awaken others to a just conception 
of parental responsibility, to induce them, if possible, 
to remit no exertion, while health remains, and their 
tender offspring are by their side, to prepare them 
for future glory. 

She had long been convinced, that the youthful 
mind might receive a decidedly religious impression, 
at the earliest developement of moral powers. " It 
is inconceivable," she would say, " to those who 
have not given the subject serious reflection, how 
much time is usually lost, by not beginning in season 
to guide their thoughts in a suitable channel. They 
are formed by God to hear religion's solemn voice. 



276 MEMOIR OF 

The Holy Spirit hovers over them, gently moves 
their affections, and often sanctifies the heart, before 
even their teachers suspect his influence. The 
conscience is then tender, and sometimes trembling- 
ly alive, to whatever is supposed to be wrong, or 
inconsistent with God's holy laws. If parents, and 
religious friends, would watch with assiduous care 
over their infantile years, and lead them to the 
throne of grace, they might have the unspeakable 
satisfaction of seeing them walk in the paths of wis- 
dom and holiness. 

" Who that realizes, that infancy is the spring 
tide of being, the seed time of eternal being, can suf- 
fer himself to remain inactive ? Then there is a vir- 
gin freshness, and romantic novelty in knowledge 
received, which compensates, by a deeper effect, for 
its smaller sphere. Then the heart is comparatively 
without guile, ever open, unsuspecting, confiding, 
tender. A year lost here may cast a shadow on all 
future life. This is the hour of danger, this the 
power of darkness. While we are sleeping, sus- 
pecting no evil, and waiting for the heart to open, 
the hand of the enemy is with busy and fatal skill, 
silently and profusely scattering the tares. Let us 
no longer allow this most malignant foe to gain the 
advantage : but, as far as we may, let us pre-occupy 
the field, and grapple with him for the prize, on 
terms that are less unequal." 



MRS. TAYLOR. 277 

By a person cherishing such views, Sunday- 
Schools could not fail to be highly appreciated. 
Mrs. Taylor knew their value. Her earliest serious 
impressions were produced there. The holiest en- 
ergies of her mind had been exerted there. She 
loved to think of them as a blessed means of bring- 
ing the great doctrines of the Bible, to bear on the 
heart and conscience of the young. 

Her sympathies were awakened for the teachers 
in these schools ; and her prayers ascended to Hea- 
ven, that they might faithfully perform their duties. 
She would say to them ; " In no employment will 
you experience, in your own hearts, a more abun- 
dant reward. Those children may be your hope 
and joy, and the crown of your rejoicing, in the 
presence of the Lord Jesus. You have the exalted 
privilege of pointing accountable beings to the Lamb 
of God, who taketh away the sins of the world. 
They will be grateful for your labours, when they 
see your devotedness and assiduity in their behalf ; 
and when the song of praise shall flow from their 
lips, and they shall magnify the riches of redeeming 
grace, they will not forget the humble instruments 
by whom these glorious truths were impressed upon 
their minds." 

It has been publicly stated, that, " of all the mis- 
sionaries from Great Britain to heathen lands, nine- 
teen out of every twenty, received their first religious 
24 



278 MEMOIR OF 

impressions at Sunday Schools ; and of the most 
devoted ministers in England, under forty years of 
age, more than two thirds became pious at these 
schools." Mrs. Taylor frequently alluded to the 
enjoyment they had afforded her. " There are," 
she said, " few portions of my life, to which I recur 
with greater interest, than the time employed in 
teaching my Sunday scholars. I felt, that I was 
laboring for God, and though sensible of much in- 
firmity, had great reason for thankfulness." 






CHAPTER XV. 

Power of the gospel — Deep interest in the condition of the sick 
and necessitous — Special instance of the benign effect of re- 
ligion — Mrs. Taylor's last letter from New- York — Departure 
from the city — Comfortable situation with her relatives — 
Elevated state of her affections — Closing scene — Letter from 
Rev. A. L. 

It would be difficult to say, whether Mrs. Taylor 
most excelled in the clearness of her conceptions of 
divine truth, or in the happy manner by which she 
illustrated its power in her life. Her mental facul- 
ties retained their vigor, when her sufferings were 
the most acute. She looked upon the great themes 
of religion, with a glow of zeal and devotion, that 
threw a charm around whatever fell from her lips. 
She usually waited for others to touch the chord, 
but when touched, she was sure to respond with a 
most delightful and animating spirit. Truths long 
familiar, appeared in a new light, being associated 
with the practical influence they produced. There 
was no mere abstract statement ; — all was vivid. 
You felt that the gospel exerts a life giving efficacy, 



280 MEMOIR OF 

that such as yield to its sway, enjoy a happiness to 
which the rest of mankind are strangers. 

Those, who have experienced the tediousness of 
a long confinement, know the exertions that are 
requisite to keep the mind profitably employed. 
The kindness of friends may be appreciated, and the 
heart thankful for favors received ; yet seasons will 
recur, in which, without the aid of divine grace, to 
counteract the tendency, it will prey upon itself. 
The imagination will indulge in sickly fancies, and 
the sufferers become a trial to all their attendants. 
Could such be induced to look to Jesus, the author, 
and finisher of their faith, and trace the merciful 
dealings of Jehovah, their own enjoyment would be 
increased, and the comfort of their friends. God 
does not send afflictions in vain, nor does he design 
that we should be unaffected by them. The christian 
wishes to regard them as a token of divine compas- 
sion — an additional incentive to live above the world, 
and be zealous in the promotion of glorious objects. 
All are subject to these trying allotments, and should 
be making preparation to meet them, that they may 
be borne with a submissive and cheerful spirit. 

The friends of Mrs. Taylor had peculiar cause 
for thankfulness, in the calm and subdued tone of 
her feelings, and the support that she found, on the 
occurrence of severe trials. Nothing seemed to 
take her unawares. If her days had been devoted 



MRS. TAYLOR. 281 

to the acquisition of the graces of humility and sub- 
mission, their exercise would scarcely have appeared 
more easy and natural. She had her own predilec- 
tions, her wishes respecting particular things ; but 
all her desires were cherished in subordination to 
the will of Jehovah. 

While maintaining communion with her God and 
Saviour, and meditating on the heavenly rest, she 
did not forget the objects of compassion around her. 
Her heart bled for human woe. The necessitous, 
the infirm, and the sick, were much in her thoughts 
and shared largely in her prayers. Whatever an 
invalid could do for their relief, she was prompt to 
perform ; and ever solicitous to learn their situation 
from those, whom Providence had sent amongst 
them. Her thoughts were far from resting exclu- 
sively on earthly misery. She knew, there was a 
greater calamity than the mere pressure of want, or 
physical suffering ; — the dreadful malady of sin, 

No intelligence could be more cheering to her, 
than that some prodigal had returned to his Father's 
house ; some child of wretchedness and sorrow had 
been released from his most oppressive burden, by 
humble trust in the Saviour. If she had visited the 
sick herself, and watched from day to day the influ- 
ence of divine truth upon them, her feelings could 
not have been more deeply enlisted in their condi- 
tion. 

24* 



282 MEMOIR OF 

I shall not soon forget her solicitude for several, 
then more immediately under my care. One of 
them is now in the enjoyment of comfortable health, 
and recurs to that visitation, as a season in which 
the Lord mercifully lifted upon her the light of his 
countenance, and imparted the rich consolation of 
his grace. Another, in whose situation Mrs. Taylor 
felt a special interest, had been nurtured by a pious 
mother, in the morning of life deeply impressed with 
sacred obligations, and for a time regarded by his 
friends, as promising fair, to be an ornament to the 
religion of Jesus. These early indications of pre- 
cious fruit, entirely vanished. The snares and 
temptations of a guilty world, prevailed over a young 
and inexperienced mind, and drew him into those 
labyrinths of vice and error, from which, it appears, 
a miracle of mercy if any are reclaimed. The mo- 
nitions of his conscience were not immediately si- 
lenced ; but having commenced a downward course, 
he required more than an earthly power, to arrest 
his progress, and induce him to retrace his steps. 
There were seasons, he said, (before he had pro- 
ceeded long in an abandoned career,) after a night 
spent in the society of the dissolute, when his soul 
was harrowed up with remorse, and he seemed to 
feel a hell within him : but a repetition of similar 
indulgences, blunted his sensibilities, hardened his 
heart, and rendered him nearly past feeling. The 



MRS. TAYLOR. 283 

house of prayer was deserted, the society of the 
religious avoided, and every thing done, that the 
heart of man could devise, to remove all thoughts of 
God and eternity. 

In this situation, the hand of the Almighty was 
laid upon him. He was attacked with the disease that 
terminated his days. It became too evident, for him 
to be insensible of the fact, that his strength was 
wasting away, — the seat of life invaded, and that at 
no distant period his earthly course would be fin- 
ished. Unable to engage in his usual employment, 
with little to divert his mind, he began to reflect on 
the manner in which he had squandered his most 
valuable years. The awakened emotions were pain- 
ful ; he feared that he had sinned away the day of 
grace, and that the darkness of eternal night was 
gathering around him. Beloved connexions were 
by his side, administering to his wants, and doing 
whatever their anxious solicitude prompted, for the re- 
lief of his sufferings. But of his inward grief he had 
maintained the most perfect silence. There were 
feelings pent up within, that wanted vent ; a heart 
oppressed with sin and sadness, that had neither 
unbosomed itself to God, nor man. His friends had 
even feared that the visit of a clergyman would be 
unwelcome, and all enquiries of a religious nature 
repelled. 

It was entrusted to the writer, to break this omin* 



284 MEMOIR OF 

ous silence on an all important subject. At my first 
interview, he was alone, seated in his chair, with a 
countenance indicating, that he was familiar with 
the deeper shades of human woe. I soon perceived, 
that, in one particular, the fears of his friends were 
unfounded. There was a chord in his heart that 
had not ceased to vibrate, when his relation to God 
and another world, was suggested. Though he had 
wandered like the prodigal from his father's house ; 
the Holy Spirit still lingered around his tabernacle. 
The claims of religion to his immediate regard were 
presented. The accents of mercy, proclaimed by 
the cross of Jesus, touched his heart ; — his sins 
were confessed with the ingenuousness of a child. 
Instead of avoiding the company of the religious, 
from this time, he wished to seclude himself as 
much as possible from intercourse with all others. 
In his extremity he turned to the Lord, with earnest 
prayer, and plead for mercy on his guilty soul. The 
Bible was again opened ; and became his constant 
companion. 

His affections also yearned towards a beloved 
mother. He recurred to the instructions of childhood 
— thought of her solicitude for him in his wander- 
ings ; — and the many things, contained in her let- 
ters, which had been passed over without reading. 
Desirous of making her acquainted with his situa- 
tion, and receiving from her such counsel, as her 






MRS. TAYLOR. 285 

experience might suggest, he resumed his pen, and 
after repeated efforts for several days, succeeded in 
conveying to her the emotions of his heart. His 
mother however, had not forgotten him. The in- 
telligence of his sickness had reached her, and be- 
fore she had received his letter, he was truly made 
glad, by a further token of maternal regard, in her 
well known hand, containing a full impress of her 
feelings and anxiety. The afflicted son was melted 
into contrition. His mother had been praying for 
him, when he thought not of it ; she now plead with 
him, as on the borders of another world, to be re- 
conciled to God. His sorrow for sin became deep 
and pungent. Aroused by a more full and clear 
view of the gospel plan of salvation, he cast himself 
upon the Saviour, and embraced with faith the pre- 
cious promises. The remainder of his days was 
cheered by that hope, which is as an anchor to the 
soul, sure and steadfast. 

One more scene must be noted, for next to that in 
which his spirit took its flight for a better world, it 
was the most solemn and affecting. He desired to 
commemorate the dying love of Jesus. A few 
chosen friends gathered around, and united with him. 
Rarely has a sick chamber produced more vivid 
and thrilling sensations, than when the penitent 
sufferer received the holy sacrament. His counte- 
nance glowed with unusual brightness. That little 



286 MEMOIR OF 

circle deeply felt, that as it was the first time, so it 
might be, it probably would be, the last, in which 
they should all, on this side the grave, enjoy together 
so glorious a privilege. Alluding to the occasion, 
he subsequently remarked ;— " That day seemed to 
me a heaven upon earth." 

Pointing to his Bible, he observed, " for many 
years this was a neglected book, now it is my chief 
delight." The 51st Psalm, in particular, was often 
wet with his tears. The last sentence he uttered, 
with an audible voice, was sweetly indicative of the 
state of his affections, "Jesus is precious." 

When the mild weather of Spring approached, it 
was deemed expedient, that Mrs. Taylor should be 
removed to the country. Her inclinations, as might 
be expected, were to her native state. While it 
remained uncertain, what course would eventually 
be adopted, she indulged the hope of having her 
only surviving sister, spend some time with her in 
the city ; yet she rejoiced in having all her concerns 
in better hands, than those of feeble mortals. A 
few extracts from a letter to this sister, written at 
different times, as her strength would allow, will 
present a clear view of her feelings and wishes. 

" New York, March 15, 1836. 
" My dear sister, 

" I am becoming more feeble, and my cough is 



MRS. TAYLOR. 287 

very troublesome. It has been your allotment to 
watch by Mary and Jerusha, to comfort them in 
their sufferings, and receive their last message. 
Will you come and perform the same kind offices 
for me ? I need constant care, and feel myself 
sinking down to the grave. Yet I do not desire you 
to leave home, unless you can do it without anxiety 
respecting those that remain. Miss C. is very kind, 
and often reminds me of you ; but it will be impos- 
sible for her to continue with me much longer. I 
have unnumbered daily mercies. Give my tender- 
est love to our father and mother* 

" March 30. 
" My physician consents to my going home, as 
soon as the weather will admit of my removal. 
Should I live till that time, your wishes,, and my 
own, will be gratified. I receive much kindness, 
have many friends, and enjoy numerous blessings 
here ; but I wish to go home, and die with those, 
whose affection has been unchanged, from infancy 
till the present. I desire to bless God for the way 
in which he has led me. There was a time when I 
shrunk from the thought of protracted suffering. It 
is not so now.- — I have had bitter feelings, when 
realizing that my children are mine no more ; — now, 
though I weep at the remembrance of them, and 
would fain, once, again, clasp them in my arms and 



288 MEMOIR OF 

bless them ; yet I cheerfully resign them, soul and 
body, to Him, who is able and willing to keep that 
which is committed to his care. The cup that my 
Heavenly Father hath given me, shall I not drink 
it? These trials, may well he called t light afflictions,' 
if they only produce in me the fruit of righteousness. 

" Why should I shrink from death, — from early death ! 
Since dying is the entrance to that world, 
Where death, sad spoiler of all human hopes, 
Hath no more sway ! His dread dominion ends, 
When this frail tabernacle, is put off, 
Is leveled with its low original, 
The dust !" 

" Your affectionate sister, 

Sarah." 

At this period Mrs. Taylor presented a beautiful 
illustration of the christian character, in full symme- 
try and proportion. She had for a long time been in 
constant preparation for death, waiting patiently the 
will of her Divine Master. There were no ex- 
travagant flights of fancy; — all was placid, serene 
as a summer's morning. Affliction had so chastened 
her soul, that she regarded all events, in reference 
to their bearing on another world. The same spirit, 
which conducted her from the darkness of nature, to 
the light of the everlasting gospel, was still with 
her, purifying her desires, giving vigor to her faith, 






MRS. TAYLOR. 289 

and producing holy acquiescence in the dispensations 
of Jehovah. 

For months, the change in her health had been 
so gradual as scarcely to be apparent. When the 
time assigned for her removal approached ; she 
maintained the entire command of her feelings, and 
made the requisite preparation for the journey, with 
the same humble reliance upon God for which she 
had previously been distinguished. Considering 
these afflictive allotments as a part of the discipline 
of her Heavenly Father, she passed through them, 
in the comforting enjoyment of the divine promises. 

My last interview with her, in the hallowed apart- 
ment to which she had long been confined, was on 
the 22d of April. Never had greater uncertainty 
rested on the future. For aught that appeared, she 
might again be restored to improved health, or sud- 
denly removed from earthly trials. Our conversa- 
tion turned chiefly upon the subject of death. It was 
one familiar to Mrs. Taylor and in which she en- 
gaged with the liveliest interest. The state of her 
mind was evidently that, which is produced by sanc- 
tified afflictions. She dwelt much on the compas- 
sion of the Saviour, and the comfort to be derived, 
from the thought of meeting him in glory, and en- 
joying him forever. Her affections were immovea- 
bly fixed upon the only sure foundation of human 
hope. 

25 



290 MEMOIR OF 

April 25th, the day appointed for her removal from 
the city, dawned upon her with thrilling interest, 
yet her feelings were controlled by the Great Regu- 
lator of human actions. Five years had elapsed 
that day, since her public recognition of the vows 
of the christian covenant. She was now to take 
leave of scenes endeared to her heart by associations 
the most powerful and touching. Officious memory 
recurred to the past, and rendered it all vivid before 
her ; but her strength failed not, the benign influence 
of the gospel was sweetly exhibited. 

On arriving at the boat which was to bear her 
away from these consecrated places, no agitation 
was visible in her countenance ; assisted to the 
cabin by her friends, she resumed her couch 
with the most perfect tranquillity. That she felt 
most deeply, none who knew her could doubt ; by 
the aid of divine grace, she raised her thoughts 
above all sublunary things, and meditated on the 
track of the soul through boundless space to realms 
of ineffable purity. This was to her a part, and the 
concluding part, of the voyage of life. It contained 
many traces of former days, when different feelings 
swayed her breast, and before the graces of the gos- 
pel had been so strikingly displayed. The passage 
through the Sound had often been sketched by her 
own hand. All the features of the surrounding 
landscape were fresh in her recollection. While 



MRS. TAYLOR. 291 

time had produced changes in her, the face of na- 
ture remained the same. She realized the truth of 
the sentiment. 

" God is ever present, ever felt, 

In the void waste, as in the city full ; 

And where He vital breathes there must be joy." 

During the night her distress was so great from 
sea sickness, as to render it doubtful whether she 
could continue till morning. Her friends assembled 
around her, with the painful expectation that each 
breath would be her last. The Lord mercifully in- 
terposed, and, by a kind providence, conducted her 
to the place of her destination. At an early hour 
she was landed at her father's in Middle Haddam, 
and though much exhausted, truly thankful for the 
watchful care of the Great Shepherd. 

Mrs. Taylor considered it an unspeakable privi- 
lege, to be once more encircled by those dear friends, 
" whose affection for her," to adopt her own lan- 
guage, " had been unchanged from infancy to the 
present moment," nor did they place a less value, 
upon the privilege of watching over her, and admin- 
istering to her wants. Nothing was left undone, 
that could alleviate her pain, or render the conclud- 
ing days of her pilgrimage comfortable and happy. 
For a time she gathered fresh strength ; — it seemed 
not improbable that her life might be prolonged. At 



292 MEMOIR OF 

this season of the year, all nature was reviving; she 
sympathized with it, and appeared to feel the influ- 
ence of the same vivifying power. A few lines are 
lying before me, written with a pencil on the 14th 
of May, showing her sensibility to the renovated 
appearance around her, and her wish to console her 
absent friend. 

" The country is beautiful ; all speak of God but 
those to whom he has given the faculty of speech. 
The trees are in bloom ; — every thing seems full of 
life and loveliness. — In reference to your lonely situ- 
ation, I need not say how joyfully I would be with 
you, and administer those domestic comforts, which 
constitute the sweets of earth. — My prayer is, Lord, 
raise me not from this bed of sickness, unless to be 
specially useful. Let us remember, that however 
trying or mysterious, the dispensations of Providence 
now appear, all will be made plain hereafter. 
" The blessing of the Lord be yours, 

Sarah." 

Only a few weeks elapsed, before all were con- 
vinced that her disease was too firmly seated, to yield 
to human skill. Her sufferings were at times very 
acute, yet she was never heard to utter the language 
of complaint. She felt for her children all a mo- 
ther's tenderness, but committed them with confi- 
dence to Him, who could do far better for them than 



MRS. TAYLOR. 293 

any earthly parent. With similar feelings, she com- 
mended to His care, the little orphan, her adopted 
child ; earnestly beseeching the Lord to preserve 
her, from the paths of sin. 

She was cheerful and happy in her greatest dis- 
tress ; never troubling her friends with the recital of 
her sufferings. To their affectionate enquiries she 
usually replied. " I have nothing but mercies to 
speak of, blessings attend me on every side." The 
most trifling favor or attention, called forth her grati- 
tude. At every allusion to her previous trials and 
sufferings, she spoke of the kindness she had re- 
ceived, and the comfort she had found in drawing 
near to God. Her strong affection for christian 
friends, was clearly exhibited. Their presence and 
conversation were always animating. She dwelt 
with delight on the thought of their reunion, in those 
blessed abodes, where sin and sorrow will be forever 
excluded. 

In the latter part of July, her strength failed ra^ 
pidly ? She fully believed that the hour of her re- 
lease was approaching. Her reliance upon an 
Everlasting Arm was brought to a new test; and if 
for a moment a cloud flitted across her path, it seem- 
ed only to render more vivid, the beams of celestial 
light and comfort, which the Lord imparted. On 
the 30th of July, the change in her symptoms was 

so strongly marked, that her husband was sent for, 

25* 



294 MEMOIR OF 

In the meantime her faith was unwavering, the 
promises of the gospel seemed clothed with peculiar 
attractions. Monday afternoon, the 1st of August, 
the sun after having been obscured by a dark cloud, 
burst forth, with increased splendor. Her sister 
asked her if she saw the beautiful appearance. " Oh! 
yes," she replied, " and just so I believe the Sun of 
Righteousness will shine upon my soul." This 
conviction was fully verified before her departure. 
Tuesday morning she remarked, " I have a new as- 
surance to day." 5 All before me is luminous ; what 
more can I desire ?" 

Her husband being detained longer than was an- 
ticipated, she had felt some solicitude, lest he should 
not arrive before the close of her life. The Lord 
graciously answered her request. He arrived in 
season to receive her last message, and witness the 
elevation of her faith. At her request the 14th 
chapter of St. John's Gospel, and the third of his 
first Epistle were read, and prayers offered. She 
then took an affectionate leave of her relatives, be- 
seeching them all to live in continual preparation 
for a better world ; — and spoke of the comfort of the 
believer in a dying hour, when supported by the 
Saviour's love. — "How often" she says " I have re- 
peated without suitable reflection ;" 

1 Jesus, Saviour of my soul, 
Let me to thy bosom fly, 



MRS. TAYLOR. 295 

While the waves of trouble roll, 
While the tempest still is high ; 

Hide me, my Saviour, hide, 
Till the storm of life is past j 

Safe into the haven guide ; 
O, receive my soul at last ! 

Other refuge have I none, 

Hangs my helpless soul on thee j 
Leave, ah ! leave me not alone, 

Still support and comfort me ; 
All my trust on thee is stay'd, 

All my hope from thee I bring ; 
Cover my defenceless head 

With the shadow of thy wing. 

"Now I feel the sentiment, in all its strength and 
consolation. The everlasting arms of my Redeemer 
are underneath me ; ' Though I walk through the 
valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil ; 
for thou art with me : thy rod and thy staff they 
comfort me.' " Alluding to her absent friends, she 
said, "give my love to all, tell them Jesus is pre- 
cious." Turning to her husband, and looking him 

full in the face, she said, " My children" but 

was unable to proceed. These were her last words ; 
— reclining again on the bed, she fell into a sweet 
sleep, and soon after awaking, about 1 o'clock P.M. 
Aug. 2, 1836, her immortal spirit was released from 
its frail tenement, and entered, upon the enjoyment 
of eternal happiness. 



296 MEMOIR OF 

In conformity with a desire expressed during a 
former sickness,* Mrs. Taylor was interred along 
with her "dear kindred." The " passing traveller," 
who shall turn aside to meditate, will find in a se- 
cluded part of the yard, by the side of each other, 
the graves of the three sisters, with the " enduring 
marble" at the head of each, of equal height. Stand- 
ing by these affecting mementos of the departed, he 
will have before him the same delightful prospect, 
concerning which the lamented James B. Taylor 
remarked ;f "The lover of scenery will never tire 
here, but always find enough to feast his love of 
the beautiful, amid so much enchantment of nature." 

Here reposes all that was mortal of Sarah Louisa 
Taylor. But no dear connexions are now there to 
bedew her grave. That domestic circle she so 
fondly loved, has since her death removed to a dis- 
tant part of the country. Yet strangers will visit 
the place, and while they pause in solemn thought, 
will raise to Heaven the prayer, that her spirit may 
he enkindled in many hearts. Even as they ascend 
the Connecticut, they will mark the spot, and call to 
mind the loveliness of her character, — the graces 
with which she was endowed. 

The testimony, of a clergyman residing in the 

* See page 203. 
f See " A new Tribute to the memory of James Brainerd 
Taylor," p. 264. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 297 

vicinity of her father's, who visited her repeatedly, 
will form an interesting and appropriate conclusion 
to the present chapter. 

"Middle Haddam, Feb. 22. 1837. 
"Dear Sir, 

"To me it is matter of much regret that I did not 
more frequently commune with Mrs. Taylor, on 
those high and holy themes, which obviously occu- 
pied most of her thoughts, during her last illness, 
and which imparted heavenly consolation and joy to 
her heart. I sincerely regret this, both because I 
cannot doubt that such christian intercourse would 
have been pleasant and refreshing to her, and be- 
cause I am sure that the eloquence of her dying 
words, would have been most instructive and profit- 
able to me. Brief, however, as was my acquaint- 
ance with her, it will long be remembered with deep 
and melancholy interest. 

" I shall not be able to relate particularly the con- 
versation which occurred between us, as I took no 
notes, and much of it has escaped from a too treach- 
erous memory. But while her words have passed 
away, the impressions which they made are deep 
and enduring. 

" Having incidently alluded to her children, who 
were absent, and whom she never expected to see 
again in this world, I found that I had touched a 



298 MEMOIR OF 

tender chord, and regretted the indiscretion. She 
placed her emaciated and trembling hand over her 
eyes, as if to conceal a starting tear, and gather 
strength to repress the strong emotions which were 
rising in her bosom. 

"After a short pause, resuming her wonted calm- 
ness and composure, she said — ' I took a final leave 
of my children some months since. It was trying to 
a mother's heart— but I have given them up — I have 
committed them to the keeping of my heavenly 
Father. I have resigned those whom I most love 
on earth, and now I am willing to go whenever it 
shall please my Saviour to call me hence.' 

"I recited the following passage of the Psalmist; 
— 'My flesh and my heart faileth : but God is the 
strength of my heart, and my portion forever.' She 
said she had often meditated on that precious truth, 
and now, that she was placed upon a sick and dying 
bed, it afforded her unspeakable encouragement and 
consolation. — She conversed with great interest and 
animation on the sublime doctrine of the resurrection, 
and especially concerning Him who is 'the Resur- 
rection and the Life, 5 whom she evidently esteemed 
as ' the chiefest among ten thousand,' and on whose 
merits alone she depended for salvation. 

" Having spoken in terms somewhat laudatory of 
the spirit and style of a little book which lay upon 
the table before me, she replied, 'Yes, it contains 



MRS. TAYLOR. 299 

very many excellent and pious thoughts/ and then 
added an expression of regret, that it said little or 
nothing about the Holy Spirit, or the doctrine of di- 
vine influence, in connexion with religious experience. 
It struck me as being a very just criticism, and the 
few observations which she made in this connexion 
respecting the agency of the Holy Spirit, in the reno- 
vation and sanctiflcation of the soul, were at once 
scriptural and edifying. 

"In her conversation and deportment, there was 
a manifestation of the most unaffected humility;— - 
there was evidence that she possessed some good 
measure of that feeling which prompted an Apostle 
to exclaim ; — ' By the grace of God lam what I am ;' 
— there was an exemplification of that truly christian 
temper, which would abase self in the dust, and 
exalt God and His grace. 

" "While sitting by her sick bed, listening to her 
pious discourse, her brightening countenance indi- 
cated that all within was peace, and her eye seemed 
to beam with immortal hope. I felt impressed with 
the conviction that a dying saint was there — one 
who had indeed been washed in the blood of the 
Lamb, and baptized by the Holy Ghost. I could 
not doubt that she was a disciple ; for, as I looked 
upon her, I was sure I saw the Lord's image and 
superscription. She exhibited such specimens of 
christian feeling — such proofs of meekness and pa- 



300 MEMOIR OF 

tience, calmness and resignation, faith and hope, as 
do strikingly and beautifully illustrate the redeeming 
efficacy, and the transforming power of our holy re- 
ligion. I felt the force of the Poet's sentiment — 

" The chamber where the good man meets his fate, 

Ts privileged beyond the common walk 

Of virtuous life, quite in the verge of heaven." 

"And she has gone. Consumption, that mighty 
destroyer, marked her as his victim, and no earthly 
power could save her from an early grave. Neither 
the skill of physicians, nor the tears of friends, 
nor the prayers of the pious, could avail to detain 
her on these mortal shores. They did what they 
could to prolong life — 

"But they sought to stay 
An angel on the earth, a spirit ripe 
For heaven." 



'Your affectionate friend, 

"Stephen Alonzo Loper." 






CHAPTER XVI. 



Review of Mrs. Taylor's Character. — dualities as a Teacher — 
Admiration of the works of nature — Fervor and consistency 
of her piety and friendship, by Rev. C. H. — Letter from Dr. 
J. A. Mc V. — Her christian character, by Rev. O. W. — The 
mother taking leave of her children, by W. C— The Mission- 
ary's Prayer — Sketch in miniature — Conclusion. 

We have now traced some of the leading circum- 
stances, in the life and death of a beloved member 
of the christian fold. Much has been seen in her 
example, to awaken the slumbering energies of those 
who are reposing in the field of labor, before their 
work is completed. In the early period of her 
christian course, the engrossing duties of a school 
were not permitted to divert her attention from the 
cultivation of personal religion. She loved the hour 
of retirement and prayer, and felt the necessity of 
keeping her own lamp trimmed and burning, in order 
to guide in a proper manner those who were en- 
trusted to her charge. 

Her character, as a teacher, is beautifully deli- 
neated, by one who for years enjoyed her confidence 
26 



302 MEMOIR OF 

and friendship, and was, for a short time, associated 
with her in the charge of a school. 

" As a teacher, Mrs. Taylor was pre-eminently 
successful. She loved mind, young, unprejudiced 
mind, and delighted to watch its expansion, and on 
each opening leaf, to stamp some impress, bright with 
promise of future usefulness and eternal glory. She 
was not of the number who bestow most labor on 
the fairest exterior, or the child whose parents stand 
highest in the scale of society. It was sufficient 
for her to know that there was a mind susceptible of 
cultivation, and all her energies were devoted to the 
work. 

" She deeply regretted the disposition mothers 
often manifest, to give their daughters, a showy, su- 
perficial education, to the almost entire neglect, of 
solid branches. She would say, ' it is trifling with 
immortality, and sacrificing the powers which God 
has given for usefulness, to the opinion of a vain 
world ; my conscience condemns me, when I do not 
warn them of the danger of the course.' Were but 
a measure of Mrs. T's spirit communicated to the 
female teachers of our country, we should soon have 
such a community of wives, and mothers^ as would 
make our land a praise among all lands. 

" Her mind shone with the greatest brilliancy, 
when with a friend she walked abroad to contem- 
plate nature's works, and in them nature's God. She 



MRS. TAYLOR. 303 

was a close observer, and discovered a thousand 
beauties, hidden from the common gaze ; and as she 
turned page after page of the great volume, would 
often exclaim, ' wisdom ! boundless, unerring wis- 
dom !' It was not the wild broken ledges, gaping 
chasms, and unceasing roar of the cataract of Pas- 
saic, or the lofty prominences, and stupendous pali- 
sades, of the far famed Hudson, alone, which inspired 
her with feelings of adoration. She could contem- 
plate the formation of an acorn, or the texture and 
tints of the humblest flower, until her mind seemed 
filled with the infinitude of God's wisdom." 

Though the heart naturally seeks for some object 
to which it may cling, and around which it may 
entwine itself; yet on no subject is caution more 
requisite than in the selection of intimate friends. 
They will in an almost imperceptible manner, control 
our thoughts and affections, and become a part of 
ourselves. In this particular, Mrs. Taylor was 
peculiarly guarded. She highly appreciated that 
friendship which is based on christian principles, 
and availed herself of its advantages, to strengthen 
her faith, and preserve her mind pure and unspotted 
from the world. 

Her uniform and consistent course forcibly recom- 
mended a life of piety. Those, destitute of the en- 
nobling spirit by which she was animated, beheld 
in her those endearing qualities, which touch the 



304 MEMOIR OF 

sensibilities of the heart, and produce feelings of 
esteem and respect. These features of her charac- 
ter are clearly illustrated, in a letter from the Rev. 
Mr. Hequembourg to a friend in this city. 

"Auburn, Dec. 23, 1836. 

" Dear Friend, 

" It afforded me no small pleasure to learn that a 
memoir of Mrs. Taylor was in preparation. To her 
many friends it will present a grateful method of 
renewing those agreeable hours which were passed 
in her society while she was living — to be again 
instructed and delighted by her intelligence, and to 
be quickened in our flagging zeal and drooping graces, 
by her ever animated and glowing piety. 

" The memoir of such a woman must be not only 
interesting to her friends, who will embalm her in 
their memory, but useful and instructive to the 
public. 

" If it does not become us to eulogize the dead, it is 
certainly not piety to forget them. Even the pen 
of inspiration has not deemed it too humble a task, 
to record a memorial of the excellencies of the pious 
dead, for the imitation of future ages. Surely we 
may make known the worth of the departed, though 
we should not deify them, as is too often the case with 
our ' sense — taught affections,' as Young has it. 
Grace will chasten this natural instinct. Our hearts 



MRS. TAYLOR. 305 

need not be buried in the graves of our friends. Our 
blessed Creator is the Great Source of our happi- 
ness, and death must first rob us of Him, before it 
can seriously invade our joys. None of the rela- 
tions and circumstances in this life, which constitute 
our happiness, are independent of our Heavenly Fa- 
ther ; they are only means accorded by Him for our 
enjoyment. When one source of happiness is with- 
drawn from us, are the riches of his goodness all 
expended ? How slow are our hearts in apprehend- 
ing the delightful truth upon this subject ! At the 
same time, a certain kind of love for the memory of 
departed excellence, is among the most holy and ve- 
nerable feelings of our nature. And he who would 
forbid us to dwell upon the recollection of our 
friends, even though it be somewhat to the exaggera- 
tion of their worth, for it is the province of the heart 
to magnify what it loves, would rob us of one of the 
greatest sweeteners and solaces of our toilsome and 
embittered life ; and I may add, one of the greatest 
conservatives of virtue in the world. Without the 
sacred joys of friendship, our life would be indeed 
but a. melancholy and dreary waste, a solitude of ills. 
We may truly say with the poet — 

" But such a friend ! — ah, sigh no more ! 
'Tis prudent, but severe : 
Heaven aid my weakness, and 1 drop 
All sorrow — with this tear." 
26* 



306 MEMOIR OF 

" There is no one, I believe, my dear sir, who 
ever had the honor of the society and friendship, of 
Mrs. Taylor, who did not cordially admire and es- 
teem her ; and no one ever casually met with her in 
society, who did not wish to renew the acquaintance, 
and ripen it into friendship. H I had the pleasure of 
her acquaintance for about eight years, and I never 
met with a lady whom I so truly esteemed. She 
was one of those individuals rarely met with, in 
whom are happily blended all those soft and amiable 
susceptibilities that endear the woman, with a remark- 
able degree of those more noble qualities, which fit 
for extensive usefulness, and adorn intelligent society. 

" Some of her mental productions exhibit more 
than common marks of genius. But her most ex- 
cellent trait, and that which will ever endear her 
memory, was her fervent piety. It was this heav- 
enly grace, the noblest adornment of the soul, that 
threw a charm over her whole character. How 
mistaken are those who dread religion as their bit- 
terest enemy ; and will not cherish the feelings it 
awakens, from a fear, lest their charms should be 
diminished. The cultivation of piety is the cultiva- 
tion of the heart, and she must needs be lovely who 
cultivates her heart. 

"Not want of rest, or the sun's parting ray, 
But finished duty,' limited the day. 
How sweet her passing life ! what lovely themes 
Smiled in her thoughts, and softened all her dreams/' 



MRS. TAYLOR. 307 

u The influence of religion in refining the man- 
ners, and cultivating those qualities which so much 
sweeten and beautify our life, was not a little con- 
spicuous in Mrs. Taylor. A natural quick sensi- 
bility and warm feelings, without the softening influ 
ence of religion, might form a blending of qualities 
dangerous indeed and unlovely, but united with that 
as they were in her, became the source of a glowing, 
though chastened fancy, 

" A pure ingenuous elegance of soul, 
A delicate refinement, known to few." 

" Yours with regard 

" C. L. Hequembourg." 

In addition to the preceding sketch, I am grati- 
fied in being permitted to lay before the reader an 
estimate of her character, formed by a physician 
who enjoyed her confidence, and was for a consid- 
erable time an inmate of her family 

"LeRoy Place, March, 20, 1838. 
"Rev'd. and Dear Sir. 

"If the length of my acquaintance with Mrs. 
Taylor were alone considered, it would seem hardly 
to justify my complying with your request, to con- 
tribute to her memoir ; but having been under great 
obligation to her for kindness and attention to my 



308 MEMOIR OF 

comfort, while an inmate in her family ; I regard 
this as a privilege which I cannot in justice to my 
own feelings allow to pass unimproved. 

" In reviewing the character of our friend, it would 
be difficult to say whether she excelled most in the 
good qualities of head or heart, so pre-eminent was 
she for both ; possessed of a heart always alive to 
the dictates of humanity and affection ; she was 
also gifted with powers of intellect of a high order. 
To a casual observer, and in her every day inter- 
course with society, there was perhaps nothing par- 
ticularly striking, though even in the most trifling 
things, there was a something in her manner, which 
could not fail to leave a favorable impression. She 
was dignified, and at the same time courteous and 
affable ; in disposition, cheerful, kind, and consid- 
erate ; with a mind clear and philosophic, free 
from conceit or vulgar prejudice. She was open to 
conviction, but always firm in maintaining her opin- 
ions, when formed, upon subjects which she con- 
sidered worthy of decision. 

" My acquaintance with Mrs. Taylor commenced 
in the fall of 1834, and during the four following 
months, I was daily in her society. She was in 
good health, and the enjoyment of every thing which 
seemed necessary to her happiness. But these 
blessings were continued to her only for a short time; 
and one of my first visits to her, after I removed from 



MRS. TAYLOR. 309 

her house, which I did in January, found her con- 
fined to a sick room. This might be considered as 
the beginning of her trials ; from this time they 
were many and grievous ; in the midst of them, I 
saw her occasionally, and she was always the same, 
the resigned and humble christian. I never can 
forget one of the last visits I paid her. She was 
speaking of having taken her final leave of her child- 
ren, they had been removed to a distant part of the 
state, and she was not to embrace them again, though 
she should live for months. Her cup of trials was 
now full ; and like gold seven times purified by the 
furnace, she appeared perfected for that state of en- 
joyment, for which she truly regarded this life as 
only preparatory. 

" Though during life her sphere of usefulness was 
comparatively limited ; I trust her memoir will be 
the means of benefiting many, leading them to im- 
prove their opportunities, and to consider that though 
retired, their duty is as plain and important as that 
of the most prominent in public life ; while it will 
encourage them to bear their trials with meekness, 
feeling that all things are wisely ordered. 

" With sincere interest in its success, 

I am, yours with great regard. 

"Jno. Aug. McVickar. 

The religious experience of Mrs. Taylor, presents 



310 MEMOIR OF 

so much, which may be recurred to with profit, that 
no reader of her memoir, who is alive to the import- 
ance of clear views on the subject, will regret to see 
it further developed. In a letter of the Rev. Mr. 
Winslow, from which an extract* has already been 
furnished ; this duty is happily performed. 

"Brooklyn, N. Y., Aug. 1, 1837. 
"Rev. and dear sir, 

" Having perused the manuscript letters, and lit- 
erary remains of the late Mrs. Taylor, I cheerfully 
comply with your request, to state the impression of 
her christian and intellectual character, which that 
perusal left upon my mind. 

" The first feature of her christian character which 
particularly interested and impressed me, was her deep 
and thorough views of sin. I was rejoiced to recog- 
nize this, believing, as I do, that in modern conver- 
sions, attributable, perhaps, in a great degree, to the 
rapid ingathering of converts to the faith, allowing but 
little time for a close scrutiny of the evidences of con- 
version, — we too much overlook this important fea- 
ture, essential as it must ever be regarded to the due 
and proper formation of the christian character. 
An experience of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, 
must necessarily precede an experience of sin's 
great sacrifice. The deep wound must be felt, be- 

See page 254. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 311 

fore the precious balm will be sought. Are we not 
in danger, from the cause I have assigned, of substi- 
tuting a slight and transient alarm of the conscience, 
for what the Scotch divines, of other days, quaintly, 
but strikingly termed, ' the law work of the soul? 5 
Mrs. Taylor's views of sin did not rest upon the sur- 
face. They were deep and thorough, springing 
from her scriptural conceptions of the law of God, 
its spirituality, and its extent. The successive sta- 
ges of her christian experience, evinced the value of 
this early discipline ; for when brought by God the 
Holy Ghost, to view Christ's obedience and death 
as a full and all-sufficient atonement for sin, and to 
receive Him by faith, as her only righteousness, she 
emerged from the tempest of her convictions, into the 
clear sunlight of God's free and entire forgiveness. 
In lingering around this happy and important period 
of her history, — from which may be dated a new 
era in her life, — how forcibly are we reminded of 
the beautiful pencillings of the poet, for which she 
might have sat as the original, so vivid is the resem- 
blance. 

" Lo ! from the fearful depths of guilt and woe, 

Incumbent on her Saviour's arm ascends 

A ransomed spirit, filled with one vast thought 

Of grateful love ; — inhaling from each glance 

Of the great conqueror's gracious eye, life's joy, — 

The joy of sins forgiven." 



312 MEMOIR OF 

" One of the effects of this work of grace upon her 
heart may, in after life, be traced in the trembling 
solicitude she evinced, for the thorough conversion 
of those of her friends, in whom she discovered any 
evidence of a godly sorrow for sin. She dreaded a 
slight wound, or when deeply wounded, she feared a 
slight healing. She knew the priceless value of the 
soul, and the possibility of its awful deception. 
Blessed lesson this she had learned! High attain- 
ment in Christian scholarship ! painful though, were 
the steps by which it was reached. The scene 
which transpired in the death chamber of an indi- 
vidual, to whose side Providence had guided her 
steps, presents a most beautiful illustration of this 
marked trait of her christian character. I may be 
permitted in this connexion, to allude to the 
Christ-like yearning she manifested for the sal- 
vation of sinners. It appears to have been the 
one aim of her life, — the ruling passion of her soul. 
Nor was she left to labor and to pray in vain. God 
highly distinguished her as the instrument of turning 
many to righteousness. Let the numerous instances 
of conversion which took place among the youth, 
whose moral and intellectual training was entrusted 
to her care, and in the Sunday School class, of 
which she was the faithful and unwearied teacher, 
testify. How many, now singing the praises of 
God in glory, or who yet on earth, are running for 



MRS. TAYLOR. 313 

the prize, can point to her as the individual, whose 
solemn admonitions awakened in them the first se- 
rious, holy thought. 

" Mrs. Taylor's christian course was not always 
smooth, — her spiritual sky not always cloudless. 
She knew what it was to be a pupil in the school of 
affliction ; — and thus disciplined* she was made to 
experience some of the choicest blessings of her 
life. Who, as he surveys the process of refine- 
ment through which she passed during some of 
the early periods of her history, will not acknow- 
ledge, that, from the furnace she came forth reflect- 
ing back more lustrous the image of the Refiner. 

" I have made but a slight allusion to her intellec- 
tual endowments. These appear to have been of a 
superior order; and sanctified as they were by the 
grace of God, eminently fitted her for the distinguish- 
ed and responsible station she filled during the early 
part of her life, as an instructress of youth, — and in 
later years, for the tender and endearing relations 
she so honorably sustained, as a wife and a mother. 

" Mrs. Taylor appears to have been a woman of 
perfect transparency of character. To quote the beau- 
tiful observation of the biographer of Kirke White, 
between whom and Mrs. T., there were points of 
striking resemblance, — she seemed to carry her heart 
in a vase, — it was frank and open, every one saw it, 
27 



314 MEMOIR OF 

— it was generous and affectionate, every one ad- 
mired it. 

" That the Lord may bless you in your ministry, 
assist you in the preparation of your work, and 
smile upon it when finished, is, Rev. and dear sir, 
the unfeigned desire and prayer of 

" Your fellow-laborer in the gospel, 

" OcTAVIUS WlNSLOW. 

" The Rev. Lot Jones." 

To Mr. Cutter, my early friend and class-mate, I 
am greatly indebted, for a beautiful and touching 
description of the feelings and sentiments of Mrs. 
Taylor, when taking leave of her children. None 
familiar with the circumstances, or present with her 
at the time, will question its correctness. The sug- 
gestions contained in the letter accompanying it, are 
too valuable to be omitted. 

" Astor House, March 1, 1838. 
"My dear friend, 

" The subject of the narrative, which you placed 
in my hands, was certainly a very eminent and love- 
ly example of that true, deep, active, living piety, 
which * adorns the doctrines of the gospel of Christ.' 
However it may be to others, it is to me a more in- 
teresting exhibition of religious character, from the 
fact, that it does not, like the far greater number of 



MRS. TAYLOR. 315 

valuable memoirs, which it is our privilege to pos- 
sess, derive any of its prominence or power from the 
peculiarly important duties or public relations, of the 
subject. It shows what true Christianity may be, — 
nay, what she always will be, in the more private 
walks of life, if not marred by unhallowed connexions. 
Like the memoir of Harlan Page, it shows how one 
may be eminently good and useful in the world, 
without the usual outward accompaniments of emi- 
nence, high station, and acknowledged celebrity. In 
this view, it appears to me it cannot fail to be use- 
ful, as I am quite sure it must be highly interesting, 
to all that class of readers, who love truth better 
than fiction, and respect the plain garb of a pure 
and intelligent piety, more than all the outward 
adornments of a showy, but heartless profession. 

" Some of the scenes affected me very deeply ; 
and none more so, than that, in which the infant 
children are brought into the chamber of the dying 
mother, to receive her final blessing and farewell, 
on the eve of their removal to a distant place. My 
reflections upon that scene, and the probable feelings 
of the mother, in so trying an hour, gave rise to the 
accompanying lines, which I send you, as the best 
mode of expressing the real interest I have felt in 
your manuscript. 

" Yours, very truly, 

William Cutter." 



316 MEMOIR OF 

" Farewell ! 

Oh ! who the bitterness can tell 
Of that brief word, when on a mother's heart, 
Called from her helpless babes so soon to part, 

Its lingering tones of sadness swell 1 

Farewell ! 
Warm gushing from the inmost cell 
Of the heart's yearning tenderness, that knows 
No measure for its fulness — thus o'erflows 
Love's parting benison — Farewell ! 

Adieu ! 
Again, my darling babes, on you 
I may not fondly look. I may not more 
Over your precious heads low bending, pour 
My prayer, as I was wont to do. 

Adieu ! 

Not from my heart to sever you, 
Dear precious pledges of an earnest love 
That soon shall know its counterpart above — 

Oh ! no — but only from my view. 

Sweet Flowers! 

Gathered in love's terrestrial bowers, 
A few brief mornings fondly cherished there, 
Oh ! with what yearning tenderness and care 

I would have watched your opening powers 

But go — 
Heaven calls me hence — I may not know 
Tour blooming or your blight — to them who ne'er 



MRS. TAYLOR. 317 

Can feel a mother's yearnings, be the care 
To watch you, as ye fade or grow. 

Ye smile, 

Sweet babes ! unconscious all the while 
Of sorrow, fear, or parting. Life to you 
Has neither past nor future. All seems true 

That can the present thought beguile. 

Smile on ! 

Smile on ! And oh ! when I am gone, 
May God in kindness so direct your ways, 
That love and hope may gladden all your days, 

And heaven upon their evening drawn. 

Go now — 

Upon each placid infant brow 
I've looked my last and fondest — on each cheek 
Imprinted my last kiss — and now I seek 

To breathe a dying mother's vow. 

O Thou ! 

To whose behest I meekly bow, 
And leave these tender infants motherless — 
Take them to thine, from my too weak embrace — 

O Father, smile upon them now. 

They're thine — 
No longer may I call them mine ! — 
Baptized into thy blessed mystic name, 
And bound to thee by that most precious claim — 
Thine, Father, they are wholly thine 1" 
27* 



318 MEMOIR OF 

I find among the papers of Mrs. Taylor, a letter 
written to her mother-in-law, in which allusion is 
made to a dangerous illness of her eldest son, in the 
winter of 1834. She says, "I have not indeed 
seen my babe in the cold embrace of death, but I 
have watched hours to see him die, and think I can 
in some degree sympathize with you, in your be- 
reavement." In her last address* to this child she 
refers to the same trying season. The presence of 
a devoted missionary ,f now laboring in the south 
eastern part of Asia, was peculiarly grateful, and 
consolatory. Should this notice ever meet his eye, 
he will call to mind the affecting scene, and the 
strong faith with which the mother consecrated that 
child, so far as a parent could do it, to be the Lord's 
forever. The feelings of this friend, and the spirit 
of his prayer at the time, are embodied in the fol- 
lowing lines presented to afflicted parents, under 
similar circumstances. 

" Our Father, God, who dost chastise 

Thy children but in love, 
To teach our earthrborn souls to rise 
To purer joys above — 

Oh ! let the past suffice, we pray, 

Of agony and fear ! 
O gently take thy rod away, 

And spare this infant dear ! 

♦See p. 271, 2d Stanza. f Dr. Bradley. 



MRS. TAYLOR. 319 

O teach the smitten parents now 
With meekness, love, and prayer, 

Before thy holy throne to bow, 
And lay their offering there. 

And let the anxious hearts that bend 

In silent grief around, 
Look up to Thee, the mourner's friend, 

Where only hope is found. 

O then, for Jesus' sake, forgive, 

And hear our humble prayer ! 
O let the darling sufferer live — 

From further suffering spare. 

While thus, all gracious Lord ! we pray 

For this beloved one, 

We still would learn to bow, and say 

Father, thy will be done !" 

" W. C.» 

One further tribute to her memory, and I bring 
this memoir to a close. It is the testimony of a 
friend who had rare opportunities for forming a cor- 
rect judgment, and consists in a grouping together 
of qualities, — a sketch of character in miniature, — 
a copy from nature, in which those who knew her, 
will recognize at once the likeness of the original. 

"Mrs. Taylor was distinguished for the mildness 
and general evenness of her temper. Her language 
was elegant and persuasive. There was a dignity 
in all that she said or did, combined with a peculiar 



320 MEMOIR OF 

modesty and sweetness of expression. Benevolent 
almost to a fault, she could not look upon human suf- 
fering, without making an effort to relieve the suf- 
ferer, — in her compassion for the woes of others she 
seemed to forget herself* As a friend, she was con- 
fiding, faithful, prudent, steadfast. As a wife, dis- 
creet, affectionate, cheerful, contented. As a mother, 
it is impossible for language to convey a com- 
plete idea of that love, that strong, and enduring 
affection which she constantly manifested for her 
children, or her intense solicitude, for their eternal 
well-being. As a christian, she was active, perse- 
vering, rich in faith, abounding in the fruits of the 
spirit. She adorned the doctrine of God our Sa- 
viour in her daily walk and conversation, — and died, 
as might be expected, looking to Him, who was the 
author and finisher of her faith. She knew in whom 
she had believed, and was fully persuaded, yea, 
certain, that he would keep that which she had en- 
trusted to him, until the day of his appearing." 

The influence of such a woman does not cease, 
when the brittle thread of life is severed. She sus- 
tained important, social relations, and though dead, 
yet speaketh. To the teachers in our Sunday 
Schools, she presents a lovely example of fidelity 
and unwearied self-devotion. If it be cheering, to 
glance occasionally at the results, which flow from 
persevering and well-directed labors, they will de- 



MRS. TAYLOR. 321 

rive from her success, great cause for encourage- 
ment. None have acted under a higher sense of 
responsibility, or been more solicitous for divine as- 
sistance. Unmindful of personal sacrifices, and pa- 
tient in communicating instruction, she evinced an 
ardent attachment to her scholars, and strongly en- 
listed all their feelings. To her surviving associates, 
and all engaged in the same delightful employment, 
she would say, " Your labors are for the advance- 
ment of a noble object. Be faithful, and, through 
divine grace, you may be the honored instruments 
of preparing many, for the rich blessings of eternal 
life." 

Children too will feel that they had in her a 
friend of no common value. When they reflect on 
the exertions she made, to guide their minds in the 
way of truth and holiness, they may ask, what mo- 
tive prompted her to these self-denying efforts 1 
Why did she derive so much satisfaction from 
directing their attention to the Lamb of God, who 
taketh away the sins of the world? The simple 
answer to these enquiries will be, that the love of 
God, which dwelt in her heart, was the great 
inspiring motive. The same holy feeling will im- 
part to all, support in trials, and unfeigned pleasure 
in the discharge of duty. Would you, beloved 
youth, enjoy that comfort in view of the eternal 
world, which it was her privilege to possess, your 



322 MEMOIR OF 

early years must be devoted to the service of God. 
If you choose the Saviour for your friend, in the 
morning of your days, he will be your solace in 
every period of life. Reflect on the advice of 
Mrs. Taylor to her children ; and regard it, as 
addressed to yourselves. May it excite you to 
study the Holy Scriptures with earnest prayer, that 
you may in such wise, " read, mark, learn, and 
inwardly digest them ;" that the truths they contain, 
may be indelibly impressed upon your hearts, and 
bring forth fruit in your lives, to the honor and glory 
of God. 

The manner in which Mrs. Taylor performed her 
maternal duties, cannot fail to awaken a deep inter- 
est in the minds of parents. It should lead them to 
consider the precarious tenure, of the relation sub* 
sisting between them, and their children, and to 
regard these dear pledges of their affection, as lent 
to them, it may be, only for a short period. 

Who can be uninterested in the enquiry, — " Pa- 
rents, are you living for God, and training your 
children for his everlasting kingdom ? Can you, at 
any moment, cheerfully resign them into his hands, 
and close their eyes in death, should such be his 
all-wise allotment ? or, should he remove you first, 
have you given them to him, and do you feel the 
comforting assurance that he will take care of 
them ?" These questions will be presented to every 



MRS. TAYLOR. 323 

parent who contemplates the life of Mrs. Taylor. 
She loved her children with all a mother's tender- 
ness, yet felt happy in committing them to the 
Lord's hands. Are you not exposed to the same 
vicissitudes ? How powerful are the motives which 
prompt you, to consecrate all that you hold most 
dear, to an Eternal Friend, and live in habitual pre- 
paration for your last change ! 

Reader, whatever may be your station in life, you 
have an immortal spirit, and are hastening onward 
to the judgment. The impress now made on your 
heart is for eternity. You have contemplated a fel- 
low being,released, through the Saviour's blood, from 
the oppressive weight of sin, rising above the vani- 
ties of time, and preparing to unite with the redeem- 
ed in glory. Her probation was similar to your 
own ; the same mansions to which she aspired, are 
open before you. Those sinful affections, over which 
she mourned, and which once filled her soul with 
anguish, have a place in your breast. That Saviour 
to whom she fled for refuge, kindly offers himself to 
you. He claims you as his own, by the payment 
of a price more valuable than worlds. Can you 
trifle with his offers, and trample his blood beneath 
vour feet, reckless of the consequences ? 

Religion, to the subject of this memoir, was an 
unfailing source of comfort ; it sustained her in 
severe trials, protracted afflictions, and heart rend- 



324 MEMOIR OF 

ing separations ; — will it not confer the same bles- 
sings upon you 1 If God out of Christ, be a consu- 
ming fire, how will you appear in the day which 
tries men's souls % Allow these solemn and awak- 
ening considerations a place in your heart. Raise 
your thoughts to that bright world, which she has 
entered, to that God and Saviour into whose pres- 
ence she is admitted ; and in life's latest hour, may 
the same glorious beams illumine your path^ and 
" with angels* and archangels, and all the company 
of heaven," may you ascribe to Him, that sitteth on 
the throne, and to the Lamb, thanksgiving and praise 
for ever and ever, 



THE END. 



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